The days of changing yourself to appease other people is over. Back in the days of cavemen, yeah sure you might have to because you lived in a tribe of 17 and you had only a few shots to impress “the one.” But today is different. Today we are no longer suffering from choice deficiency. There are literally hundreds of thousands of people who you can meet that might be interested in you…just the way you are. Interesting concept eh?

So this post has two messages to it. I never really ever say them outright but I think it’s so important. Because once this realization hit my mind (Thank you Allison Armstrong) it changed the ways I think about things.

1. Be yourself. The right people will stay. The ones who don’t like who you are about will go…and you don’t even have to ask them to leave they will just leave.

2. Change for – you. Because only you can change for the better. Find something deep within yourself that you can hold onto while you travel down the path of transformation. Then…do it because you want it. Not because your wife told you to. Not because someone insulted you and you are full of that “I’m gonna show you” attitude. Do it for you – that stuff lasts I promise. The reason within…that will take you to places you never imagined you could go to.

It is time to go out into the world and have it catch up and react to you. All too often we try to paddle to the wave that we just missed that everyone else is on instead of waiting for the next empty wave to surf. If you focus too much on the wave that you just missed you will never see the one that is forming behind you. Don’t follow the crowd just because everyone else is doing it. Follow that little something deep inside your heart that is telling you to do it your way. That way, while difficult – (trust me I know) will give you deep answers that you could never get by knowing all the answers right out of the shoot. In fact…know nothing. Socrates said that the smartest philosopher in the room was the one that admitted that he knew nothing. That should tell you something.

Because once you “know” something you give away your opportunity to learn about life when you were clueless. You lose your fire for it. You stop learning.

Find your path. Blaze that trail. It’s lonely I promise you. It’s basically you and your horse heading to the Western Front and beyond. But that’s the exciting part. If you focus too much on the fact that there’s nobody around when you are on your way then of course that is all that is going to occupy your mind. Or, you could go explore, enjoy listening to what is going on deep within your heart, and when you find what you are passionate about…act on it. Build the coolest damn thing anyone has ever seen. Feed the idea. Help it grow. Let it blossom. I think this next quote says it best

“If you build it, they will come.” – Field of Dreams

In a world that demands instant results for everything, a demand that completely juxtaposes the short-term results of what “going after your passion” creates, it is incredibly easy to get caught up in thinking that you are failing because you don’t have millions of followers or making mad amounts of money. Keep going. Keep trucking away. Thomas the Train taught me when I was young to say, “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.” You have to first believe it – then it will happen for you.

So build your dreams and let the world react to you. Ride your own wave and barrel it out.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project