Tonight is pretty simple for me. It’s interesting that sometimes you can go a whole day and not really have anything profound happen to you, and then all of a sudden right before you are about to turn in, bam…it happens. I feel that a lot of people have sympathy for others and that can semi-relate to other people’s situations etc, but I feel that the true winning formula in creating long-lasting relationships with people is in developing empathy for them. I have always come back to the same example over and over again which I will write out below.

I have had the great fortune of having some pretty significantly bad things happen to me throughout my life so far. I say great fortune because I have been able to learn from them and turn them into strong pieces of my foundation. However, there have been many times where people have come up to me and said, “I know this doesn’t really compare to what you have gone through, but…” and I usually stop them right there at the but. I tell them that it doesn’t matter what I have been through…and just to tell me what is on their mind. “Maybe the worst thing that has ever happened to you is your dog dying…but it isn’t the situation that matters in our relation to one another…it’s the emotion behind everything.” Immediately that usually opens up doors.

I think that a lot of the time people lack empathy…the true feeling and recognition of another people’s emotions. To truly be able to relate to another person on an emotional level while mostly disregarding the heavy specifics is something that I focus on dearly. Because no matter what happens or how many times it happens, we will not be able to have the same event happen to two different people exactly the same way. Not impossible, but incredibly improbable. Therefore I think it is so important to look deeper than what is on the surface and really try to resonate with someones heart.

Open your arms to people if they come to you in times or light or darkness. It isn’t your job to decide when you could be someones angel. But it is your responsibility as someone who has a warm soul to let others experience what you have to bring to the table. Keeping your talents from others is essentially hiding your true self from the world. Sure it takes work. In fact…it takes a lot of work much of the time. But the satisfaction from filling another persons bucket far exceeds the slight exhausted feeling that you may have if things go south. However, I have found that if you are truly being empathetic towards someone, you end up being fulfilled beyond your wildest imagination.

So open your heart. Love deeply and passionately. It will make this world a better place.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project