Day (431) – My Act
Posted on April 13, 2013
I know immediately when I am starting to go south. The frustration creeps in and consumes everything in my mind. I start feeling it in my lower back and quickly a sense of agitation reaches the back of my neck, shoulders, and arms. To be honest, I get pretty pissed off and don’t want to be around anybody, be touched by anyone, or say anything. I just want to retreat…to be left alone, and to do it all on my own.
That’s a pretty big “act” as I would call it. The act is what you go to when you are down and unhappy. And for me, a sense of “I can do it by myself what do I need other people for” becomes the negative emotion that crawls into my mind and plants itself. We all have an act…mine just happens to look that way. I’m happy that at least I know.
It’s unhealthy. It’s destructive. It’s counter productive. It’s painful.
But we must call forth our team in these moments. We must ask for help and not stop asking for it until we get it. The mark of strength is knowing when to ask for help. “Not because you are weak, but because you want to remain strong.” – Les Brown.
Life “lifed” me. It got me good. Not in a monumental explosion, but in a very very sneaky way. It slowly but surely planted a small idea in my mind and because I watered that thought a little too much, it took to root. It took me out of my game. It made me bitter. It beat me in one long great battle. And that battle has been going on for some time now. But the war is not lost. It is only when you lay down to die that the war is lost.
Frustration. Anxiety. Disappointment. Under appreciated. Unnoticed. Sad. Lonely. The list goes on and on and on. They slowly but surely creep in and set up their chairs in your head. The only way you can combat these emotions is not by running from them, but understanding them and what they are. There is no fixing them. Only understanding. Then you can make your move. Then you can do something about your life.
Make your move before you are ready.
– Evan Sanders