Posted on April 11, 2013
The look on people’s faces when I say that I had a soul of Swiss cheese are priceless. “What in the world does cheese have to do with your soul Evan?” Everything.
Deep holes in your soul. I have spent so much time looking back into my past for a few good reasons. I know I advocate staying in the present moment quite often, but I think there is something to be said for really taking a good look at where you have come from and the events that have happened throughout your lifetime. Going back also helps me understand how I really came to where I am at now. Of course, in being a writer I am always looking for new material to work with – and the past almost is an endless supply of stories, memories, and meaningful events. Most of all, it helps me understand how the Swiss cheese holes were created in my heart.
None of us can avoid them. In fact I would argue that it is only when you understand that there is a difference between what you perceived to have happened and what actually happened that you can start to do something about these holes. They appear because somewhere along the line you get this idea in your head and it keeps getting proved true over and over again. Not that it is actually true, but that you could perceive it to be that way. Yikes. I mean really…yikes. Any idea can infect our mind. It could be positive, but in a world that is plagued by lots of negativity, most of the time the weeds of pessimism grow.
So the holes start to form and as infatuations with substances or material possessions manifest themselves, the holes begin to grow deeper and wider. As we know with all addictions, the more time you spend with something the more your body gets acquainted with it and eventually you need more to satisfy those previous needs. The holes get bigger and they become harder to fill. You know that they are there…but it is easier to fill them with something quick and easy.
The only way to fill these holes is through a deep focus into virtue and character. Sounds funny, but really, it’s true. I’ve been through this…and I am still dealing with a few holes that were developed over many many years. But once you understand that only things like courage, vulnerability, love, passion etc are what matter in this life you can start to go to work on becoming fulfilled. I heard somewhere the other day someone say that in order to grow you must take chances…in order to be happy you must grow…in order to be happy you must be self fulfilled. So in effect we must take chance in order to be happy. Without recognizing the shape and size of that block of cheese within you, you will never become happy with yourself. You may spend a lifetime wondering why this is the case…but if you really look deep down inside, you will see that the answers were always there.
Turn yourself into a block of Provolone. Hole-less.
The Better Man Project