There comes a time that each of us must answer a calling to push all their chips into the pot and put it all on the line. What eventually happens however is that this calling comes when we are not ready, when our integrity is still lacking, and we are exposed when the light comes. Of course, all of us are fallible, but when we answer this calling, we have to be fully committed. Like I always say in the morning…who are you going to be today? Most of my days, I answer, “Two cheeks on the line.”
For the past week or so, I have been gearing up for an event that will significantly alter the course of my life. In 12 days, I will publish my first book…something that I am so proud of and ready to put out to the world. In the time I have had while my editor is doing her final read-through, I have been looking inward…focusing on writing…and checking the spokes on my integrity wheel. This process has made me consider things that I had never really looked at before. And it has allowed me to identify things that I need to continue working on and making stronger. But today is my testament to a reality that I am ready to answer…I am finally ready to go all in…total commitment to many things that have been on my mind for the past few months.
I had a really interesting talk with one of my friends tonight about the phrase “coming to conclusions.” I put forward the idea that when it comes to coming to conclusions about people, things, events…we often take away our ability to further analyze life. When we decide that things are the way they are and that is final…no more learning can be done. I, instead, like to view it all as if I know nothing. I can learn from the smallest things…and instead of just knowing a whole lot of stuff…I take it to the next level and apply it immediately…allowing myself to gain wisdom through application…not just book knowledge.
A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They’re just backing away from life. *Reach* out. Take a *chance*. Get *hurt* even. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an E. L-I-V-E. LIVE! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room.
– Harold and Maude
You are going to get hurt, but you have to remember…the brighter the light the darker the shadow. Things are going to fall apart, split at the seems, tear into pieces…but you have to realize that this is just part of the building process. A long time ago, I wrote a piece called Break to Build. Renovations must be done all the time to improve the structure, the furnishings, the walls…and anything else in between. As life changes, you must also adapt and adjust. Don’t be afraid to put on your construction hat and get to work.
I am not the better man…I am just a man. But I do realize that I have a unique frame of mind…and that is I have a passion for life and everything it throws at me…good and bad. Combine that with my desire to turn darkness into light…and here I am, 377 posts later, years later, writing my heart out every single day. I know what fear tastes like, in fact, it has a distinct draw. But I remember how sweet it tastes to decide your path and take it. Choose yours.
Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project
Congratulations! Will your book be available via kindle/amazon?
IMHO, the decision to write a book and see it through conclusion makes you a “better man” bud. You have made a contribution to the collective human consciousness and we are all better for it. Thank you.
Good luck with the book! In the few posts I’ve read today you bring up some very interesting points. I loved the discussions with my classmates in college. We’d talk about all sorts of things, solve the world’s problems (or most of them at least) and wonder why those that ran the world couldn’t see the answers in front of them. I still wonder about that to this day.
Keep up the attitude and perspective and you will make your mark in the world, no doubt about it.
Write on! 🙂
How wonderfully exciting! You may want to take a look at – Brene Brown’s book: Daring Greatly. I think you will resonate with her work.
Thank you so much for understanding exactly what my intentions were, also for the very honouring invitation for more comments:-)
All my very “better”:-))
Absolutely inspiring. Very, very wise words. I tip my hat to you.
congratulations. I am on that path, too, so especially heartfelt. 🙂
Editing is key! I’ve had my manuscript edited with my writing group, and professionally by a wonderful editor in Chicago, who’s very motivating and sharp! Biggest pit fall for self-published writers, is not getting proper editing. Kudos to you. Check out my blog when you have a minute (do you have those anymore?). It’s not all dark (as current post) but I think we share some similar thoughts… they ying and the yang of male and female brains. 😉
Wow! What an incredible comment, and I completely see where you are coming from. And you make one very compelling argument that is for sure. I will humbly take your advice.
I think when I wrote that little sentence there, it was more about my frame of mind of how I am attacking my life. I want to stay grounded you know? I think there needs to be an example of someone who yes is completely fallible, but strives for great things no matter how much he/she fails…and gets better along the way because of it. I love documenting this journey for those reasons.
I look forward to more of your comments 🙂
Evan Sanders
Thank you! Can’t wait to hear what everyone says 🙂
haha! Thank you so much. I will keep that comment in mind
Hi there!
Yes, I think you are exactly right….vulnerability and transparency is truly what matters…I believe that is true courage. I am also self publishing. It has been a fantastic process and have had some professional editing help along the way. I will continue to share 🙂
This and day 371 really resonate for me. My posts tend to be very unfiltered and true, also. However, I wrote one a couple of days ago (Black and Blue) that was very raw. I’d put off writing it for a long time, and I woke that morning; didn’t edit, and then posted. I suppose, to be honest, I’ve had some second thoughts since then. I am not entirely comfortable with how many people I know have read it. The blogosphere doesn’t scare me, it’s how naked I feel in front of the people I actually know. These 2 posts, 371 and 377, however, are wonderful reminders about what I really believe and why I strive for honesty and transparency. Thanks for that. I am enjoying reading these posts and getting to know your work.
Are you self-publishing or being published? I am working on getting my first book out there too and this always interests me. Just curious.
Thanks for sharing so openly.
Dear Evan,
It’s been a few days since I first wanted to leave you with a comment, but for deeper reasons I may write about later on, I withheld myself the honour:-)
The reason I’m doing it today though, is a little/major flaw by the end of your latest post, which literally destroys -for those used to evaluate at the deeper/true level- the real value of your thoughts, and that is the following line, “I am not the better man… I am just a man”!
With all due and true respect for all the truly exceptional value of your work, you ARE what I would courageously affirm to be “A better man”!
Yes, A better man, One of those many, many you dream about to more and more populate this otherwise hopelessly looking world!
You owe accepting this, to all those you write your uplifting thoughts, to all those on whose behalf you gladly sacrifice (yes!) a generous slice of your every day, to all those respectfully looking up to you because all you’ve meant in and for their lives, allowing them to believe they CAN become better people!
But first of all, you owe this to yourself, that “self” who discovered there’s always place for better, the well deserved honour to have progressed from being “just a man” to being ” a better man”! And by the way, there is no such a position as ” the better man”; you’d need your own, lonely planet and universe for that!
One thing I’ve learn at the end of this half century of my life: modesty is more deceitful than pride; and please allow me not to write down now, how I’ve learned that:-)
On behalf of those many (probably hidden) thousands who are in the continuous process of becoming better and better people, please accept at the close end of this year, this gift of yourself to your own, better than last year self!
By doing this, you’ll help many of your readers and ( don’t be afraid…) followers, unwrap the gift of having the privilege to become better, A better person in the growing sea of better people!
All the best to you and your readers, from the other, rainier side of the ocean:-)
A Happier, and Better New Year!
Inspiring stuff, best of luck on your book! Kudos on grabbing life by the hoo-has.
Good luck with your first book. I’m sure it will be a success.
Keep us posted.
~Felicia