As I continue to go through my life, I am starting to come to deeper and deeper realizations. The things I have come to know in the past are being re-explored…and I am finding much more depth in them by considering them in the first place…and then by asking tougher questions of how I even reached that point. But there is one concept that stands out amongst the rest, and that is vulnerability.
Fear.
Fear is what stops us from starting. When we are too afraid to start, we paralyze ourself. Why? Failure. We are afraid of being labeled a failure, from being a failure…and everything else that is associated with this term. But the problem is…if we wait for luck to strike, that doesn’t teach us anything. Many get massively lucky and then when everyone is expecting them to repeat their success…they can’t. I would rather fail over and over again…to the point of breaking…and succeed… than get lucky. Never wish people luck. Wish them the ability to take one step past their fears.
A long time ago, a manager and a very good friend of mine sent me a video before I started a project with her about vulnerability. I’ll never forget that video and what it taught me…and through the past couple of days of reconsidering everything I have learned and with talking to those close to me…I have learned that in order to truly be loved, you have to put it all on the line for people. There are no secrets. Because the people who truly do love you will be there even after they hear every last drop of your story. They know the worst thing about you, and yet, appreciate how beautiful your story is. Mad…unconditional…love.
In the days before the new year, I want you to think about something. Instead of trying to solve everything at once, try to understand what your story means to you. What is your story? Your story is everything good and bad that has happened to you up until this day. The horrors and the victories. When you can get your story understood…by you…then you be completely free.
Clearings. If you have a complaint in life, or you need to talk something out…talk about it. Don’t let people be reckless with your heart…and for certain don’t be reckless with the hearts around you. Be vulnerable. Love people to death. This is a message that I hope to express throughout the rest of my life.
Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project
Reblogged this on 365.
I love this video! Who knew there were so many people in the world craving more information on being vulnerable? It’s like we’re all looking for permission to let down our guard. Thanks for sharing.
Reblogged this on Tellin' it like it is… and commented:
From The Better Man Project – Evan Sanders…before I even read this I had drafted a post about fear-based thinking that will be up tomorrow…he’s got great stuff in this one!
Love this, and I actually just finished a draft of my blog for tomorrow re: fear-based decision making….thanks for sharing this!
Reblogged this on This is your real mother speaking… and commented:
Love being motivated and inspired by this blog! I found myself copying down quotes from this post in my journal – so many that I just decided to reblog it in the hopes that you might glean something from it to inspire you!
Reblogged this on Shackled and Crowned and commented:
I’ll let him do all the heavy lifting.
I was guilty of fear consuming me and my dreams for YEARS. Not anymore. Lovely post!
Gorgeous post! One of the reasons why I started my blog is to try and understand myself, my story. Thank you.
Thoughtful observations… I appreciate your sharing that and for your stopping by my blog also. A person can only love you when they know who you are.
🙂
What is the video your manager shared with you? I would love to see it.
Awesome post! There’s a wonderful TED Talk about vulnerability.
Another side. What if “Fear” is not about failure? What if it is about success? If we fail, we can at least say that we tried or make excuses for not trying. If we have success, then fear becomes how do we proceed and not knowing how to go forward. And if we become successful will our lives change? If we dwell on the fear of failure, then will we always fail? Probably, because lack of trying. If we dwell on the fear of success, will we be successful? I like to think so.
Beautiful!
Awesome Post!
Reblogged this on HAPLOGROUP – bit that makes us human. and commented:
Ja Rule
brain hammering
Fantastic post!!!
“When you can get your story understood…by you…then you be completely free.”
Well, my friend, I’ll be 50 as we get over the another year when the world ended again, and my worst nightmare has always been understanding the way so many “why”s…
On thing it positively caused is much of my writing which is a never ending quest to getting answers, to the paradoxical point where the intricate beauty of these questions have become addictive, wishing somehow they would never get a reply…
One of the things I’ve learned is, accepting what you can’t change through a transformational benevolence towards yourself, mounts up to something causing similar effects to understanding, which needs to be followed anyways by a positive acceptance or a negative dissociation in order to ensure good benefits.
So, here I am, with my messy story nowhere close to be understood, but more and more accepted as a vital, infrastructural part of who I am, loved indeed by those accepting you for what you are, which makes every encounter with mirrors (physical or meta-) of lesser belligerency…
As for vulnerability, I’m slowly learning that the wounds caused by those taking advantage of my sincerity, shouldn’t divert me away from those who love me, just for the fear of being hurt again…
Sometimes love HAS to hurt…
Thank you for the company of your healing thoughts…
Take care:-)
Your best ever as I just put in draft my next blog about…fear! Excellent!
Reblogged this on jennmillar45's Blog.
love this.