You know, I’m going to be honest with you and tell you that while I have learned lots of amazing things through the happy times in life, I have learned my deepest lessons through events and situations which many would consider a complete tragedy. Those days where we lose massive chunks of ourselves often of times end up being the times where you find out who you are after your darkest hour. Is there resilience…or will you just lay down and die? To me, even though I thought I wasn’t going to make it…there was a little spark of resilience that kept me up.

I know there are a lot of people hurting out there right now for one reason or another. And trust me, I know that a lot of this pain should be probably be avoided. I believe deep down that people are genuinely good, however, and this is a pretty big however…I think that the direction our society (American…I speak to what I know) has taken us in a direction that is really isn’t what I think where we need to be. I think we are a whole lot better than what is going on right now. We need to be better than this. We need heroes.

We carry with us baggage, broken pieces of furniture, and shattered lamps of our lives. But the thing about life is that it is going to life you no matter what. So if we hoard all these materials…we in turn become a human, made of pieces, instead of someone who is strong and whole. We are a walking broken puzzle.

What changed my life was realizing that there was a distinction between the past, the present, and the future…and that in fact the past and the future do not exist. All you have is right now. I know we have all heard it a million times…but it really is true. What changes everything is when you realize that everything that has happened to you up until this point is just part of a story. Your life’s story…and that it is a tale to be told…not something to hinder you from writing on fresh pages. Because when you let your past define your present, you aren’t writing on fresh white sheets, you are writing on crumpled up pieces of paper that have ink smeared all over them. Does that visual make sense? You have to take out the trash…and pull out fresh white sheets to create on.

Your finest moment is the one in which you stand up to fear, decide to continue moving, and have faith in yourself as being everything you need in order to get through the worst of times. You gain experience and courage when you can count on yourself to get through whatever life throws at you. Understand that the past is the past. No matter how horrible or colorful, it is the past. Take out the trash.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project