Posted on December 7, 2012
Don’t want it. Need it. Need it to be the next piece of your life. Need it because without it you will regret not having it. Whatever it. Friendships. Love. Passion. Health. The list can go on and on for everyone. It is okay to have needs. We all have them in fact. Often people try to shy away from thinking about what they need because of this one statement: “You’re needy.” It even makes me twinge saying it. But get over that and just realize that there are things out there that you need for a reason…usually that reason is because you start to feel happy and comfortable with them there. So if you need it…ask it from yourself. If if involves getting it from another person…then all you can do and ask. And that launches me into the two best pieces of advice I have ever been given when involving other people.
Pound for pound, this is the best advice I have ever heard. “It took a long time, but I’ve finally figured it out. When it comes to people who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.” Isn’t that right? People can talk and talk and talk…hell I can, but at the end of the day, if I am not doing what I said I was…I am just another BSer. Those who are interested in you will come and stay. Those who aren’t…won’t. Do your work. Get in touch, stay in touch, but you don’t have to force anyone to do anything for you. Respect the value of what you bring to the table. People will decide if they want to sit down with you.
Accept them for who they are, and who they aren’t. Don’t try to change them. They are perfect exactly the way they are. Plus, to be honest, you can’t change other people. People will change for themselves. Authentic change comes from within. I was told for years I should do this or that…and I just didn’t do it because it wasn’t the little voice inside me saying I should. Now even though having my worst nightmare waiting for me right around the corner possibly could have been avoided…I had to learn it the way I was supposed to. I needed to have that experience to pull me down, so I could launch back up. Our needs come in all different shapes and sizes. None is better or worse than the others. They are just different…but that leaves us with something very much in common: emotions and feelings. There are only so many words describing emotions in the dictionary…but you can never completely identify with someone on an event basis…only because the combinations and permutations of specific events happening are so outrageously complex…and you just aren’t that person anyways. Empathy counts for much more. Feeling the other persons pain or elation. Don’t get lost in the specifics.
Go into something with someone not 50% 50%….not 100% 100%….but 0% 0%. 0% stands as the number where you accept them for everything…not expecting them to be or do anything more than who they are. Love them for them. Respect yourself too. If people aren’t treating you right…or they are treating you like a joke…leave like it’s funny. Self respect for who you are and what you stand for. Don’t let anyone treat you like you aren’t beautiful. And by the way…the ones who treat you like you’re beautiful and you still treat them like dirt…those are angels in disguise. You should probably realize what is going on, change that attitude, and hold on tight. We only get so many of those people in our lives. Don’t beat and bash them…they love you for you. Get out of your own way and trust those around you.
I could write for the rest of my life under the topics of Love, Passion, and Never Quitting. Oh wait.
The Better Man Project