I can’t tell you how many times I have told someone that I cared about them, whether in a relationship sense or just as friends, and received…worse that disastrous results. In fact, there have been times actually where the other person simply just doesn’t respond. Yikes.

You know, there’s this old saying that you find out about someones true character when they are in hard times and pressure situations. I do think that this is true, in fact I have seen in myself. If you aren’t solid, the compartments of your life will spring leaks and eventually you will get crushed by the weight. But for the best built submarines, 300 meters is still the same as launching point. However, I also think that people’s true colors are shown when you tell them what is in your heart. Some run, some go to silence, some fly away forever…it’s really a complete crapshoot. I wonder if it has always been this way? Or is this is the result of a couple of generations of people not being able to deal with their feelings? But I feel like telling people how you feel now is like an emotional game of roulette….with 4 bullets in the chamber.

I have lost some significant people in my life to this. Some I didn’t think would ever go, so I am really not surprised at all when I think about it now. But, and here’s the huge but, you have to tell them. Sounds insane…and it probably is a little bit crazy…if you’re trying to play a safe life. Put it this way, if you don’t tell them, you are going to be playing the what if game for the rest of your time here. Playing that game is like playing darts blindfolded…hoping to the heavens that you hit something worth some points. As scary as it is, and it is scary, I would rather look someone in the eye and tell them exactly what they mean to me and lose them, than wondering. Life is about failing going 100%. That is my 100%

Some come back, some never do, but you have to thank the Big Guy upstairs for letting you know who is worth your love and compassion. Because anything that is incredibly important in your life is often surrounded by a bit of hardship. You have to battle for it, and like any battle there are some wins and losses. There are those who believe in you and your soul, those who believe in what your fighting for, and those who believe in what your fighting against. The last two tiers are there as scaffolding for your life, and will teach you great lessons, but they always leave. That is okay. It is meant to happen like that.

If you keep looking back, you will miss what is right in front of you. If you have two seconds to take time to listen to the lyrics of this song, I suggest you do it.

Put your heart out there. Despite its seemingly fragile nature, the more you keep doing it, the stronger it gets. Keep telling people you love them, care about them, and why they are special. If they don’t respond well, that’s on them…not you. And it will happen. Some fires will be put out…but wait for the ones that are lit…those will ignite and you will have something incredibly special and deep.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project