Earlier today, I started writing a post that didn’t exactly turn out how I wanted it to. I was pretty upset about a few things regarding politics, election day, and things surrounding all of the jargon that was getting spewed all over Facebook. My attitude crumbled and my writing definitely reflected my opinion on the complete ignorance that was going on. But I kept to one of my rules. Politics don’t belong here.

But I do want to talk about people’s actions today because it really made me think pretty hard about things. This post might be subtitled “The Band Wagon” What is amazing is how millions upon millions of people can be so uninvolved in something, yet when the bright lights are on so to speak, everyone starts speaking up as if they really know what is going on. Now I know there are tons of people out there who are really involved and that is fantastic, but I’m talking about the bandwagoners. The same thing happened in 2010 when the San Francisco Giants, the team where I have had a Barry Bonds jersey since I was 5 years old, made the World Series. I remember walking into the Giants Dugout store earlier that year, and no one was in there. But as soon as they started performing well, the whole store sold out. Maybe that’s exactly what everyone was doing…selling out.

We have all become fair-weather fans. Not just with our sports teams, but with life. We only expect things to be fantastic, and if they aren’t, we freak out. If our children are upset, we almost teach them that they are wrong. That they shouldn’t be in a bad mood because that is just unacceptable. We shove happiness down their throats and expect them to cheer up. People don’t even know what to do with you these days if you express that you are unhappy. But the funny thing is, we have more people walking around faking it these days than ever before. We have everything at our fingertips, yet people are paralyzed by the feeling of not being able to deal with their…feelings. Not being able to change their outcome because they don’t even know what that looks like. Not being able to get out of a rut because they have been taught their whole life that the rut is the worst place to be in. It’s not so bad…seriously. I mean it sucks while you are in it…but can’t you appreciate it for what it is? I have been a few ruts in my time…and the only thing that ever got me out was understanding exactly what I was in. Like my old professor once said…you must accept your current circumstance and accept it before you can move on to something greater.

I wrote a post a long time ago called “The Size of Your But” and it focused on the way that we say we would do something “but” this happened. My challenge was to remove the word but from all of the things I wanted to do…and see what was left over. Action. Action was all that was left. Without a but, you are an unstoppable machine going after your dreams. What got me in a frenzy today is how there were tons and tons of people spewing out …I support your right to vote, BUT if you don’t….you are just as bad as the Nazi’s or whatever they could concoct. Why don’t you just support people’s rights. Why can’t we all just love the hell out of each other no matter what ย type of person we are? Black, white, gay, straight, tall, short, skinny, fat. However, in this day in age, there is a complete lack of compassion and shame. There is no sense of decency. Just because we have the given right of free speech does not mean that this trumps the natural law of doing good. We have put people up on a pedestal who spew hate and the worst qualities that there are out there…Lying, drug abusing, cheating, violent, ‘bile spewing hate-mongers’…for the sake of our entertainment. Turn on the TV and see what is on there. Countless shows about things that children have no business ever seeing. But even more…we as adults should never have to watch this and learn from it. Because even if you are watching and you think you are immune to it, you are learning. Somewhere down the line maybe something happens and you wonder how in the world you could have possibly acted in the way you did…well, maybe you subconsciously learned it from the filth that has been spread around.

I speak purely for men right now, and I have very strong beliefs that we have lost our kindness. Where our soul has been stripped from us, and now we are more interested in going to clubs and “bagging hoes and dropping bills” rather than taking care of the women around us. What makes it even worse is now women expect that when we act nicely towards them, we want something. That we are out to get something from them and have some sort of ulterior motive. Where are the women out there who look for that man who treats everyone well and who vocally respect that? The worst of us guys are acting like slobs, and it ruins everything for all the nice guys out there who are looking to treat someone right…and our society puts these reality Tv junkies in front of millions of eyes and we lose good men. We lose men to the other side because we are shown that it is okay to bail on your responsibilities, to act without any sort of accountability, to disrespect or even hit women, and to rape the world of its kindness. We spew out words like “faggot” and “retard” because we try to hurt people as much as we can…and that only causes people to want to rather kill themselves than live in this world with us. Whatever heart this world has…it is bleeding. We need to stop that bleeding.

I am in no way before you a perfect man. But I believe I have a good heart. And I believe that I know what it takes to help turn this around. What is it? It should come as no surprise to you that I believe that in order to change the world, we must first change ourselves. It will take millions and millions and millions of people to start making a dent…but the amount of kindness that is going to get spread around will infect everyone else. No more cheating lying heroes, no more looking up to people who abuse humanity, no more raising up of those who prey on the weak. We need to expect something greater of ourselves as a unit. One currently dysfunctional unit. But as any engineer will tell you, it can be fixed. The scale is impressive, and it will take a lot of people to do it, but we need something better. We need to raise the bar. We need a whole lot of love…passion…and people who don’t quit.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project