Day (309) – The Lonely King
Posted on October 13, 2012
The music equally saved my life as much as the writing did. When a song makes it into a post, it is not by accident. Every single time, there is a deep and very profound connection with the music, and it only adds to the emotion of the writing. To separate the two only takes away from the message in the post. I guess that’s just a different way I do things.
Before there was courage to write, there was music. Headphones in, almost all day, listening to songs that could help me stand up. I wasn’t ready to communicate with the outside world yet. But I learned a lot of things through music. Everyone…I mean everyone, is going through the exact same things. Take away the precise events and just leave the emotions and reactions. One pain cannot be compared to the other because no two people will exactly experience the same event. Even if they are incredibly different in magnitude, something remains…that feeling in your gut.
Someone asked me “How did you do it? How did you find something in every single day to write about and have people relate to?” The answer was simple, but that time in my life was very complicated. The answer remains, and still remains ‘I wrote for me.’ I wasn’t trying to find an answer for someone else. I was searching for a light within myself. I spent years of my life searching for formulas in books that would give me the answer. That answer never came. Of course people are going to dispense advice to you in one way or another, and I truly do appreciate those pieces of advice, but there is nothing like finding something worth living for in your own life. One of my heroes always says that if you don’t plan your own life, someone else is going to plan it for you. And you know what they have planned for you? Nothing much.
I have had been forced to think about certain questions that I hadn’t been asked before. One of my friends asked me, “What makes your book different from self-help or other motivational books etc?” I had to think about this for a while, and definitely dive right back into how everything started. I have to start with one direct fact: this is the farthest thing from a self-help blog or book. I’ve read a ton of them, and I have to say they are mostly incredibly hard to relate to. There is someone who has “made it” and they are speaking at you. I am not sure if it’s just the subject in itself or if it’s how they are written, but there are all sorts of formulas and statistics that eventually make you struggle through the book. I have asked myself….”If I bring my life down to a statistic or a formula….then what the hell am I doing here on this planet?”
What I can tell you is that when you open up the cover of the book, and read read read read, and close it….you will be holding a lantern…to go search the deepest caves of your heart. There are no formulas…there are no graphs…just the truth. We all struggle each day with things. Some of us are different states, but the truth is we are all connected through our successes and our failures. There is no manual for life. But there is “your life” and the way you are going to do it. The best news I ever got was that I had to do this on my own. What’s the point of living your life the way someone told you to do it? There’s no fun in that. You are just a pawn being pushed on the board. Time to be a king. Sometimes, kings have to stand alone before other people believe in them.
Find your thing. Find what makes you unique, and leverage that like crazy. What I found for me is that I can relate to people and write. But that only came after I sat down and asked myself the big questions. The more I wrote, the more confident I became. The more confident I became, the deeper I went into my writing. It just compounded after that. You have it all in you. I truly do believe that. Sometimes it takes you a lot longer to find it than others, but who said that is wrong?
There will be people who will be sent to you to help you while you are in something, but make no mistake, you are the only one that can drag yourself out of hell. It’s going to be hot for a while…but you’ll come out appreciating the pressure of change a lot more.
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