Little changes over time accumulate to large results. Don’t believe me? Get a protractor, mark out one degree, and draw two lines following the angle…you might need some more paper…and see where you end up. A little bit of anything can really make a significant impact on life.

It was a long time ago that I dedicated myself to giving this life love, passion, and a never quitting attitude. But today, I think it was love that stood out the most. It’s a pretty complicated topic, loving people, and everyone has their opinions and stories about heartbreak and just that passionate…well, I think you get the idea. I have seen the best of my friends get stuck in ruts from breakups…hell, I’ve felt myself be stuck, but there is one solution: see what a little bit of love can do.

It shouldn’t stop with a significant other. You really have to be a man (or woman) for others and love the people around you. Part of this is being vulnerable…which is a whole other conversation, but sometimes you have to put yourself out there in order to really see what you are capable of. Accept the fact that you are going to get shot down for whatever reason, but the plain and simple truth of it all is that people can’t take away the fact that you tried…when most others would hide.

There are always a handful of interesting situations that come up for me each and every day, but I try to make them as simple as possible. And I think what really helps that simplification is the understanding of my core three characteristics that define me. When you know what you stand for, it makes it really easy to make decisions in tough spots. When feeling unsure about what to do, you can just fall back on what you know. Love, Passion, Never Quit.

Immediate gratification can be a really bad thing. There will be a lot of times when you really have to be in for the long haul. This happens with people too. Things may go unsaid for a long time, or you have said your piece and there is nothing coming back from the other side, but in my view, that is a lot better than not saying anything at all. When you don’t say whats in your heart, you end up always wondering what would have happened if you really did try.

Gentlemen, I need to speak to you for a second. This is something that I have learned, I guess it’s just me in a way. Having the guts to go up to someone you don’t know and try to talk to them says more about you than anything else. Who really cares what the result is, because at the end of the day it pretty much comes down to you and the mirror right? And not in a creepy or ridiculous way (which happens way too much)…I’m just talking about 100% you, nice, gentleman…and if they aren’t buying, then sell somewhere else. It’s as simple as that. I also have a second point which I happened to learn at a festival. I have written and always believed in the contrary to the common societal thought…”Nice guys finish last.” Baloney. Nice guys finish first, you just don’t see them because they aren’t at the clubs hounding. These three nice girls walked up to me and asked me if they could borrow the chair next to me to put their drinks down, and I said “Sure absolutely! My friend is coming back in a minute though so you might have to move after that.” And they were super appreciative, did their thing and then moved their drinks. The girl next to me who I had just met  said, “You know, if you were a jerk to them, they would have been more interested in you.”

I sat there looking blankly into space for a few seconds and said ,”Why in the world would I want that?” She replies, “Because that’s what hot girls want, I know, and you would have had a chance.” I looked at her…smiled…and as my friend came back…I said “One day, a true gentleman will sweep you off your feet, and you’ll remember me saying this.”

There is a wrong way, and there is a right way. I would like to believe I am taking a good road. My grandfather told me once to always make sure to treat the women in your life well. And I will continue to do that. Because the other option only results in you feeling crappy about yourself. Seeing the people around you smile is more special than anything else. I choose this way. Some claim chivalry is dead…I believe it is only as dead as you believe it to be.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project