It’s a myth. Lets be real with each other, you can’t do anything on your own. There is always some sort of “help” that comes into play. May not be someone there physically, but a lot of the time “help” comes in different forms. I have written a lot in the past about angels being sent down to guide me through the most trying and peaceful times of my life. We can often focus too much on the negative side of things, and forget to find beauty in the positive parts of the day. It always comes down to choice of what we want to focus on. I wrote a story a long time ago that I am going to repost here because I think it is completely relevant. It is an old Cherokee story about Two Wolves. Today, it is completely relevant.

A Cherokee elder was teaching his children about life. He said to them, “A terrible fight is going on inside me. It is a fight between two wolves. One is the wolf of joy, love, hope, kindness and compassion. The other is the wolf of fear, anger, cynicism, indifference and greed. The same fight is going on inside of you and every other person too.” The children thought about it for a moment, and then one child asked, “Which wolf will win?” The elder replied, “Whichever one you feed.”

There will be times when you need to call on yourself to make it happen. Pull yourself up by the bootstraps as they would call it. I think it is crucial to understand that you are your own maker…however it is just as important to understand the influences you have had over the years. I never forget to acknowledge to myself and to those who have had a profound impact on me…that indeed, that imprint was made. There are also times when we are too afraid to create our own footprints, and there have been those around us to carry us. These are the angels I speak of. Those who help us walk or even carry us on their backs when we need it the most. I have been blessed with a few throughout my life so far, and I have been that person for a few myself. I appreciate it for what it is.

I have been visualizing a lot lately. Here is a trick I use when I really want something that I think everyone should use. I was taught this my a professional sports psychologist, one of the quirkiest but coolest guys I have ever known. Close your eyes, and imagine yourself where you want to be, the smells, the colors, the feeling, the touch, sometimes even the taste. Image yourself in that place, and get all of your senses in tune with your dream. I have been doing this every day so far with my IronMan training. Imagining myself biking 121 miles…on the bike, through the grind, with a smile on my face. I imagine myself seeing the mountain for the first time that I will have to hike up, and that feeling of knowing I am almost done. Close your eyes, and visualize.

But as important as it is at night to have your dreams, it is also just as important during the daytime to dream. Most of your time is spent awake, why not try to see and believe who and what you want to be. I catch myself for sometimes 10 minutes at a time…well what others call spacing out…I am actually hard at work. There is no doubt in my mind that my ability to dream during the day drives my compass.

I want to go back to the story of the wolves really quick because there is a message in there that became truly relevant when I took a small break from writing this post. It is true that our minds are often plagued by the negative thoughts that naturally come up for us every day. But it is equally as true that we need to see those thoughts as just thoughts…and not something that defines us. Because if we feed it, it will grow. That is just the way things work. Likewise, if you feed positive emotions and thoughts, you will have more positive emotions and thoughts. I’ll repeat it today…you are your own maker.

Don’t get me wrong, I struggle with this sometimes. We all do. I think though that awareness is  the key to success. Because there have been times when I wandered around without a clue, and that I think is pretty negative in itself. Another thing comes up for me today, and it’s in talking about the people in our lives. I think the only way to truly to truly be friends with someone is to accept them for everything that they are. What I feel is lost from most of the sentence though is to “accept everyone also, for what they aren’t.” No one is ever going to be you…and people who are struggling in relationships right now, this is incredibly important. Another persons 100% is not going to be your 100%. You signed up for the person in front of you, you really have to love them for everything they are and what they aren’t. I feel like too often people focus on the negative versus the positive. You might have someone who is always late in your life, but good lord, if you just focus on them being late, you will never see the absolute beauty in what they are fantastic at. Sure you can talk to them, but don’t make it a deciding factor. Everything is part of compromise…and if people care about you enough, they will compromise. Maybe only 5 minutes late 🙂

There are no tomorrows. There is only today. What are you going to do with the day. Because if you rely on tomorrow, you will always fall two steps behind. Stare in the mirror…that is all you’ve got. It’s time to start running the day and not letting the day run you. The past few days, I have just been exhausted. I have moved away from waking up at 5:30 and my usual routine. I need to get back into the swing of things, and I will.

No matter what happens. Stay true to yourself, and to who you are. If you have a dream, go get it. Period.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project