I have been listening to many different types of speeches online, and came across a speech by a man named T.D. Jakes. He has an unbelievable voice and speaks with massive amounts of power. I have to write about what he said, because it holds a significant amount of truth for me.

We are confronted with three different types of people in our lives. Confidants, Constituents, and Comrades. 

Confidants are those people in your life that love you unconditionally and who are 100% into you as a person. They don’t care whether you are in pain or happy, right or wrong…they don’t care if you are in trouble, because they will get into trouble with you. They will come visit you when you are down and they will drag you out of a place of hell. You can open up and share anything with these people because they believe in you. Confidants are people who feed you while you are feeding the minds of other people. They are those who make you reach out for more when you are already living a good life. These confidants come around once in a while, and they are few. They are intertwined into your life. They will get in your face, they will get in your business, they will tell you when your wrong…because they are confidants…it is because they love you. Without these people, you will never be who you can be.

Constituents are those people who are not into you like the confidants, but they are into what you are for. As long as you are for what they are for, they will walk with you and labor with you, “but never think that they are for you, they are for what you are for.” If they meet someone else who will further their agenda, they will leave you and they will go for what that other person is for. Constituents believe in what you believe, but never be mistaken by what the constituent is really about. The constituents are important because they do believe in your cause and will support you through it.

Comrades are not for you, they are not for what you are for, but they are against what you are against. They will team up with you to help fight a greater enemy. They will only be with you until the  victory is accomplished. “These people are like scaffolding, they come into your life to fulfill a purpose, and when the purpose is complete, the scaffolding is removed. But don’t be upset when the scaffolding is removed…because the building remains.” I love the imagery of this because it is so true. We have people in our lives who are incredibly important to us because they hold us up when we need help. The scaffolding is an important job.

Expect the constituents and the comrades to leave you and desert you after a while. Because of this, be careful who you tell your dream to. If you tell your dream to your constituents, they will leave you and try to accomplish the dream by themselves. If you tell your dream to your comrades, they will desert you because they were never there for you in the first place. If people are really for you, they will weep when you weep, and they will rejoice when you rejoice. “I can tell you how to identify people who are really for you. When you walk in a room and you tell someone good news, stop being happy for a minute and watch their reaction, if they are not happy for you, shut your mouth and walk right back out of the door. When they are really connected with you, they will be happy for you when you share your dream.”

You need someone who will be really happy for you. You have to find someone who is behind you 100% and is vouching for you as if it was them. His speech resonated with me significantly because I have had trouble letting people go in the past. But now I realize, people were meant to come and go. Celebrate their purpose, and be happy. I also will carry with me the character of the three different types of people. I never truly thought of it this way, but now that I have heard it, it really makes sense. Remember, your confidants are those who will guide your hand and make you reach for more. They will be the people in your life that truly believe in you, and your dreams. Hold onto your confidants…they are blessings.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project