I have to tell you, its been one hell of a school year. I am now sitting back in my bed at home where I was only a few months ago struggling with my heart. Its so quiet back here. No need for earplugs. Just dead silence. Before I close my eyes tonight, I have a few things to ponder on. The first is more of a thanks for those people close to me that cared so much and showed me that they cared very often when I was struggling a bit. Its so easy to say that you care about someone, but then you have to show it. You can’t just phone it in and expect that person to know exactly what your talking about. You have to take that next step, even if it makes you look like a fool. I have learned so much from this year. I really got stuck into a funk for a couple of months. I really just felt numb. I hate that feeling. I hate being numb because no matter how motivated you are at the present moment you always end up failing in the long term. Being alive is what makes you into a long term success. I realized though that whatever demons are still haunting me need to go. I need to get them out, address them, and start over again. I realized this because I struggled a little in school because of everything that has been going on. But as my favorite quote says,

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!

Its true. I need to stop pointing fingers saying I am not where I am at because of what happened or because of this or that. Its what cowards do. Blame others or situations for their shortcomings. So its time to step up to the plate and really go after the things that I want. The past is the past. Here we go.