The Better Man Project | RSS Feed http://thebettermanprojects.com Short inspirational stories of a young man finding his way Sat, 28 Mar 2015 04:54:06 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.1 The Challenges Of Spiritual Transformation http://thebettermanprojects.com/spiritual-transformation/ http://thebettermanprojects.com/spiritual-transformation/#comments Sat, 28 Mar 2015 04:54:06 +0000 http://thebettermanprojects.com/?p=11634   Oh spiritual transformation, how do you kick my butt. Tonight, I’m struggling. I’m struggling to lift a pretty large amount of uncertainty. I’m struggling because there are things that are changing, which feel not as cozy and homey as they used to, and it’s taking a little bit out of me. But tonight I am here writing about how difficult this spiritual transformation is as a way to be honest with what is going on with me right now. One of the biggest challenges I am facing this year is being willing and able to lift as much uncertainty as I can and to be willing to be okay with that. Right now, I don’t feel okay with it. ...

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spiritual-transformation

 

Oh spiritual transformation, how do you kick my butt.

Tonight, I’m struggling. I’m struggling to lift a pretty large amount of uncertainty. I’m struggling because there are things that are changing, which feel not as cozy and homey as they used to, and it’s taking a little bit out of me. But tonight I am here writing about how difficult this spiritual transformation is as a way to be honest with what is going on with me right now.

One of the biggest challenges I am facing this year is being willing and able to lift as much uncertainty as I can and to be willing to be okay with that. Right now, I don’t feel okay with it. I feel exposed. I feel vulnerable. I think that’s the point though. Some of this anxiety that is running through my veins is because I am in a very vulnerable place right now and I am dealing with being right out in the open. It feels very unsafe actually. In fact, I could venture to say that the uncertainty of what’s going to happen literally 10 minutes from now has shaken me slightly.

Faith comes to mind. Faith in something that you aren’t able to see but oh you can feel it…you can feel it deep within your bones. It is something that exists despite anything that you are going through. Have troubles? Dig into your faith? Have no idea where something is going with someone? Dig into your faith. Eventually, all things turn out in the end. If they are bad now you just have to toss it up into the sky and the rest will take care of itself.

spiritual transformation buddha

 

 

Spiritual transformation isn’t a task list.

In the past, I have tried too hard to force my spiritual transformation. What I didn’t realize back then was that it isn’t something that you can force. It’s something that you have to just be with. You have to open yourself up to the possibilities of the world and only when you are open can things start flowing in. Spiritual transformation isn’t about progress either, but more about a deepening of the mind, body, and the spirit. There’s no linear plane, but we are more moving on an x,y,z plane that has no specific intended direction. For those who are very structured and progress oriented, that can be a very difficult thing to deal with. But that’s the point – spiritual transformation is difficult and it takes some work.

quote-John-Ortberg-i-hate-how-hard-spiritual-transformation-is-233054

I think deep down we are all a tad bit lost. We are all looking for answers to some of life greatest questions and we struggle with how the world shows up for us. I know that with me that is definitely the case. The Better Man Project in a way is actually my almost-daily account of my spiritual transformation and what I am learning along the way. There have been many many great lessons that have come to me throughout time and have significantly changed the course of my life. For that, I am eternally grateful.

These struggles right now are just part of the plan. In fact, it’s all part of the plan. That’s something that I have been learning every single day. Just because sh*t is hitting the fan doesn’t mean that the journey has ended…it’s only begun. This journey of mine has only begun and despite whatever is bubbling up for me right now, I know that I will move forward with strength and courage.

Yup, this spiritual transformation thing is one hell of a doozy.

– Evan Sanders

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The Best Things In Life Are Free | Keep It #100 | Episode 4 http://thebettermanprojects.com/the-best-things-in-life-are-free-keep-it-100-episode-4/ http://thebettermanprojects.com/the-best-things-in-life-are-free-keep-it-100-episode-4/#comments Thu, 26 Mar 2015 12:00:11 +0000 http://thebettermanprojects.com/?p=11548 The Best Things In Life Are Free | Keep It #100 | Episode 4 There’s this massive narrative that we are exposed to in this world and it’s the story of “you will be happy when you get here,” Wherever that here is – new house, money, clothes, car, women, men, and everything else in between. But the truth is happiness does not lie in that place where “it all turns out.” Happiness lies in the connections and the relationships you have in the present. When you are truly connected you feel like you are just flowing. However, when you focus too much on the future and thinking that your happiness will suddenly appear when you get to where you ...

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The Best Things In Life Are Free | Keep It #100 | Episode 4

There’s this massive narrative that we are exposed to in this world and it’s the story of “you will be happy when you get here,” Wherever that here is – new house, money, clothes, car, women, men, and everything else in between. But the truth is happiness does not lie in that place where “it all turns out.” Happiness lies in the connections and the relationships you have in the present. When you are truly connected you feel like you are just flowing. However, when you focus too much on the future and thinking that your happiness will suddenly appear when you get to where you want to go…you are wrong. Here’s why.

http://thebettermanprojects.com/blog
Live bold. Dream Big. Dare greatly.

“It is a truly life-changing, paradigm shifting and life transforming book.” Download my new book “Two Wolves” for free! http://btrman.me/1C99ZHw

Join the movement of men and women looking to inspire and change the world – http://btrman.me/M5mxt5

 

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Past And Present | Keep It #100 | Episode 3 http://thebettermanprojects.com/past-and-present-keep-it-100-episode-3/ http://thebettermanprojects.com/past-and-present-keep-it-100-episode-3/#comments Wed, 25 Mar 2015 22:15:33 +0000 http://thebettermanprojects.com/?p=11546 Past And Present | Keep It #100 | Episode 3 The past and the present have a really interesting relationship…but don’t forget the future as well. In reality, you can only truly live in the present. Many of us try to live in the past or in the future, but you actually can’t go there. You must bring yourself back to this moment – the only moment that you have. When you begin to live in the present, you give yourself the opportunity to experience true openness and connection to the people and the world around you. http://thebettermanprojects.com/blog Live bold. Dream Big. Dare greatly. “It is a truly life-changing, paradigm shifting and life transforming book.” Download my new book “Two ...

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Past And Present | Keep It #100 | Episode 3

The past and the present have a really interesting relationship…but don’t forget the future as well. In reality, you can only truly live in the present. Many of us try to live in the past or in the future, but you actually can’t go there. You must bring yourself back to this moment – the only moment that you have. When you begin to live in the present, you give yourself the opportunity to experience true openness and connection to the people and the world around you.

http://thebettermanprojects.com/blog
Live bold. Dream Big. Dare greatly.

“It is a truly life-changing, paradigm shifting and life transforming book.” Download my new book “Two Wolves” for free! http://btrman.me/1C99ZHw

Join the movement of men and women looking to inspire and change the world – http://btrman.me/M5mxt5

Past And Present | Keep It #100 | Episode 3 is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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Unconditional Love Ended My War With The World http://thebettermanprojects.com/unconditional-love/ http://thebettermanprojects.com/unconditional-love/#comments Wed, 25 Mar 2015 16:06:04 +0000 http://thebettermanprojects.com/?p=11541 I promise to never know you – I will learn about you each and every day I promise to never need you – need you to be anything but what you are I promise to rock your socks off every day.  - My 3 Commitments, The Better Man Project.  Maybe I am old-fashioned, but I still believe in unconditional love. I still believe in the beauty of matching souls and what happens when you start having that type of love and the feelings it creates when it awakens in your heart. That type of love is seeded in deep vulnerability – being willing to expose yourself and giving people the tools to destroy you completely and having faith that they won’t. ...

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unconditional-love

I promise to never know you – I will learn about you each and every day

I promise to never need you – need you to be anything but what you are

I promise to rock your socks off every day. 

- My 3 Commitments, The Better Man Project. 

Maybe I am old-fashioned, but I still believe in unconditional love. I still believe in the beauty of matching souls and what happens when you start having that type of love and the feelings it creates when it awakens in your heart. That type of love is seeded in deep vulnerability – being willing to expose yourself and giving people the tools to destroy you completely and having faith that they won’t.

unconditional-love-the-notebook

 

Love is always a work in progress. Not just the type of love that is romantic, but even the love of others. We come up against our own fears, doubts, insecurities…and the worst part is that we allow the pains of old to mask the amount of love we give now. Unconditional love does not arrive under the condition that you will withhold it for any reason. It’s something to be released…and often it is an uncontrollable force of energy that blossoms from the depths of your heart. When you have the courage to reveal your heart and let it go you explode with life. It’s scary, but isn’t that why we call it a leap of faith?

Those 3 commitments I wrote above are my commitments to the people who I love romantically and the ones who are around me. Each and every single day, since I’ve made these commitments, I come at life with a curiosity about others…a willingness to drop my judgements about people and accept them for who they are…and to try to bring furious happiness to their lives. Those 3 commitments are my version of unconditional love and they are things that I absolutely adore bringing into the world each day. As I have been writing here, I have been throwing myself more and more into the words that end up on the paper because if I can make my reader, you right now, feel that you matter in this world, that you are special, and that you are deeply loved by me – whoever you are – isn’t that making a massive impact?

You see I used to think that writing was a static exercise. I would put the words down on the paper, throw some emotion into it, but that would be the end of the experience for me. What I have realized is that the words that land on this paper are living and breathing things. They have the ability to evoke emotions within people and possible motivate a spark in their soul to move in a direction they wish to. I am becoming more and more grateful each and every single day that I have been given the ability to incite passion, love, joy and resilience in others. It’s a gift…and I look up to the heavens every single day and say thank you for that.

unconditional-love-wisdom-quote

 

Restricting your love because you have been hurt in the past is doing no one any favors. Lately I’ve been studying a significant amount of zen buddhism and there is a concept in the book that I am reading, one of the major practices, is that we are all connected – there is no you and me there is only “Being.” The way that the world works in terms of human perception is that we see you and your physical body as a separate piece, but the reality is…we are actually all one. The conversation obviously goes a lot farther and more in-depth than what I have presented here, but the fact of the matter is that it is such an amazing topic that it’s started to shape my reality in terms of how much I give as a person.

I’ve been hurt many times and I’ve been told many things. There have been a handful of pretty amazing insults that I have received over time about my personality, who I am, and what I am doing at my life (at the current time) and they have in one way or another restricted my ability to just let it all out. I would get scared that if I did what I was doing, if I arrived with too much passion, if I showed too much emotion, if I delivered exactly what was in my heart that it would scare people away and people would leave me. Well, those things did happen and it made me fearful of putting myself out there to the world – the exact reason why I landed in a coaching discussion asking for help with becoming deeply vulnerable – because I felt that my connections with others were actually dwindling because of this. Why start new relationships with people if you are only going to scare them away with your passion and enthusiasm? But the flip side of that is…won’t people also love you for your joy and for your ability to spread happiness wherever you go?

That flip side discussion…about being willing to throw all of my unconditional love into the world has become more and more attractive over time. The past few weeks since I was challenged by my coaches to get in touch with my deep emotions, to allow heartbreak to by my healer, to be deeply vulnerable and seen, and to truly explore the depths of my heart…well, these weeks have brought out a lot of anxiety in me because it is something new. It’s new in the way that I have gone to those places before, but I have only searched within specific avenues and spaces…and avoided all of the other spots in the cave that looked dangerous and scary.

But with the support of a few friends and some great family discussions, I have arrived at a place where I have the resolve to begin. I am willing to take the jump into the next pit. I swear I was an explorer in my past life because of how much I love being out in the wild going on adventures and the significant development of my personal introspection.

Is there deep amounts of uncertainty right now? Absolutely. But I know that this sweet heart of mine will take me places and spread happiness and love to those it touches – only if I give it the chance to truly express itself without the fear that it will run people away. If it does, that’s okay. I’m not being a bad person. The type of love that I want to give is the kind that brands its mark on the hearts of the people it touches. People always remember the way that you made them feel…and to be real with you, I want those who are around me to feel my energy and passion, but most importantly feel my deep love for life and what I have to offer. If I can evoke similar feelings in them and help them overcome their personal fears, anxieties, worries, and problems…I know I am living a good life. A fulfilled life.

I’ve ended my war with the world in trying to bash through the barriers and run from situations. I’ve ended my war with others in preventing myself  from sharing my heart. I’m up to something much different these days…and yes the picture is far bigger than what is just here right now – but that’s the point. That’s why I am here I am deeply convinced – to love like crazy, and to give others the permission to do the same.

– Evan Sanders

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When The Black Dog Arrives http://thebettermanprojects.com/the-black-dog/ http://thebettermanprojects.com/the-black-dog/#comments Tue, 24 Mar 2015 17:58:08 +0000 http://thebettermanprojects.com/?p=11538     The Black Dog Arrives Oh when the black dog arrives and that deep seething anxiety begins to spoil everything down in the gut running your mind a million miles a second and you can’t slow down because you get that feeling that everything is just wrong Throwing you horribly off center Pulling you outside of yourself Instilling the depths of fear into your mind fear of the possibility of things falling to pieces You begin to see things that you have no business seeing You begin to hear that growl the voice of regret resentment grief You feel shame because of it That black dog nipping at your fingertips Aching you to continue walking in anxiety The quicker you ...

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the-black-dog

 

 

The Black Dog Arrives

Oh when the black dog arrives

and that deep seething anxiety

begins to spoil everything

down in the gut

running your mind a million miles a second

and you can’t slow down

because you get that feeling

that everything is just

wrong

Throwing you horribly off center

Pulling you outside of yourself

Instilling the depths of fear

into your mind

fear of the possibility

of things falling to pieces

You begin to see things that you have no business seeing

You begin to hear that growl

the voice of regret

resentment

grief

You feel shame because of it

That black dog nipping at your fingertips

Aching you to continue walking in anxiety

The quicker you walk

The grander its smile

Following you

stalking you

breath hitting the back of your legs

teeth glistening

salivating

It never has to strike to control you

It only has to walk right behind you

And little did I know

That all I had to do

was put my hand behind me

to try to pet it

for then it would suddenly

disappear.

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Window Of Opportunity | Keep it #100 | Episode 2 http://thebettermanprojects.com/window-of-opportunity/ http://thebettermanprojects.com/window-of-opportunity/#comments Mon, 23 Mar 2015 17:02:24 +0000 http://thebettermanprojects.com/?p=11533 Window Of Opportunity | Keep It #100 | Episode 2 There is only a specific window of opportunity in which we can truly capture our dreams and goals. When it comes down to it, it’s about looking at everything as either an opportunity or an obligation. When you start seeing everything as an obligation…you end up in this really negative place. However, when you stay focused on the opportunity you get excited about the chance you have instead of how tired and worn down you may be. http://thebettermanprojects.com/blog Live bold. Dream Big. Dare greatly. “It is a truly life-changing, paradigm shifting and life transforming book.” Download my new book “Two Wolves” for free! http://btrman.me/1C99ZHw Join the movement of men and ...

Window Of Opportunity | Keep it #100 | Episode 2 is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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Window Of Opportunity | Keep It #100 | Episode 2

There is only a specific window of opportunity in which we can truly capture our dreams and goals. When it comes down to it, it’s about looking at everything as either an opportunity or an obligation. When you start seeing everything as an obligation…you end up in this really negative place. However, when you stay focused on the opportunity you get excited about the chance you have instead of how tired and worn down you may be.

http://thebettermanprojects.com/blog
Live bold. Dream Big. Dare greatly.

“It is a truly life-changing, paradigm shifting and life transforming book.” Download my new book “Two Wolves” for free! http://btrman.me/1C99ZHw

Join the movement of men and women looking to inspire and change the world – http://btrman.me/M5mxt5

 

Window Of Opportunity | Keep it #100 | Episode 2 is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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The Depths Of Your Heart http://thebettermanprojects.com/the-depths-of-your-heart/ http://thebettermanprojects.com/the-depths-of-your-heart/#comments Mon, 23 Mar 2015 15:12:09 +0000 http://thebettermanprojects.com/?p=11529 The depths of your heart can be a pretty pure place to go. I used to think it was a place of intense confusion and where the past lived, but I’ve come to find that it’s really a place of purity. These emotions that I feel inside have been claimed to be intense and for some reason I have experienced some sort of negativity in this word. Maybe it’s the way I am taking it? Maybe it’s the way that I interpret that word? Nonetheless, I am starting to find that this emotional intensity about life is actually simplicity manifesting itself. I’m hooking up and linking into the purity of some of these emotions that I have never fully experienced before. Maybe ...

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The depths of your heart can be a pretty pure place to go.

I used to think it was a place of intense confusion and where the past lived, but I’ve come to find that it’s really a place of purity. These emotions that I feel inside have been claimed to be intense and for some reason I have experienced some sort of negativity in this word. Maybe it’s the way I am taking it? Maybe it’s the way that I interpret that word? Nonetheless, I am starting to find that this emotional intensity about life is actually simplicity manifesting itself. I’m hooking up and linking into the purity of some of these emotions that I have never fully experienced before.

Maybe that’s the sentence right there – fully experiencing emotions.

depths-of-your-heart

When we shut ourselves off from experiencing negative emotions we also shut ourselves off from experiencing the wide array of positive ones as well. The depths of your heart can be a place where you can go to understand the truths about yourself rather than a place that you have to be scared of. I think we are scared of this place because we have experienced how wild and intense some of these emotions we go through are and that scares the hell out of us. For whatever reason, we are taught to keep a lid on ourselves and not stray too far outside of the middle because that’s the safe place to play. No, I would rather climb dangerous trees and travel into unknown lands than play it safe. That game is not for me.

The depths of your heart can be a place where you go to understand the intricacies and mysteries of this life.

There are so many things that we do not understand about what is going on in this world simply because we cannot see them. Sometimes, you have to run on faith. You have to be willing to put your feet forward one after the next straight into the dense fog and function on faith. Will it be scary? You can bet your money on it. Will it be worth it? Oh absolutely.

Time and time again you must travel into the depths of your heart to find your true self and begin to function in a way that is truly connected and present with the world.

If you can do that, there’s no cap on what you will become.

– Evan Sanders

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The Courage To Reveal Your Heart http://thebettermanprojects.com/courage-to-reveal/ http://thebettermanprojects.com/courage-to-reveal/#comments Sat, 21 Mar 2015 23:10:07 +0000 http://thebettermanprojects.com/?p=11525 What You Are Capable Of  You must realize on the most profound level that life is a gift. There is nothing wrong with life and nothing wrong with the material world. If you stop taking things for granted you will be flooded with joy and gratitude all the time. When you have no claims on life, everything becomes a Divine gift capable of sweeping you into ecstasy.  Your greatest gift is your ability to see the spiritual in the materialistic world – to perceive the Divine in the ordinary. The key thing for you to understand is that as long as you are directly pursuing happiness and satisfaction, you will never attain them.  When you give up your willfulness, you ...

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courage-to-reveal-our-heart

What You Are Capable Of 

You must realize on the most profound level that life is a gift. There is nothing wrong with life and nothing wrong with the material world. If you stop taking things for granted you will be flooded with joy and gratitude all the time. When you have no claims on life, everything becomes a Divine gift capable of sweeping you into ecstasy. 

Your greatest gift is your ability to see the spiritual in the materialistic world – to perceive the Divine in the ordinary. The key thing for you to understand is that as long as you are directly pursuing happiness and satisfaction, you will never attain them. 

When you give up your willfulness, you will discover the Divine Will. Instead of trying to have power through the assertion of your ego, align yourself with the Divine Power. Instead of me and the world, see that you have a role to play in the world, which, if followed wholeheartedly, could earn you a place of immortality among the great heroes and saints of history. 

When you liberate yourself you have the power to inspire others and to be heroic as well, influencing people possibly for centuries. You need to end your war with the world and discover that the solidity, power, and independence that you have been seeking are already here. You are part of your true nature as you are part of the true nature of every human being. When you experience this deeply, you are able to relax into Being, feeling effortlessly at one with the world and with the unfolding mystery of life. 

For you to embrace your bigness of heart, you must first gather the courage to reveal it. This requires that you trust in something beyond your own wits and power – and that, of course, requires letting go of many of your fundamental defenses. 

You will achieve a degree of greatness on whatever scale you wish to operate – and you will honored and respected as a result. You will achieve a kind of immortality that lifts you to the rank of hero. You are like a force of nature whom others intuitively honor and respect. History records many healthy versions of you who were willing to take a stand for something beyond themselves – sometimes even beyond their immediate understanding – and as much of the enduring good in our world has been achieved through their determination and struggle. 

That line I highlighted in blue in the 5th paragraph has really been striking me lately. The “courage to reveal it.” Frankly, I get nervous when this happens because it never really has ended well when I reveal what is truly going on inside. Sometimes I feel like I have to cap it off or play it down because people will think it’s too much to handle.

I’m reaching an interesting point in these decisions – one where I know I have to reveal what is within this heart of mine, two where I know that I can’t explain…justify…downplay…or bring to light why I am this way…I just am, and three I know that with true vulnerability things are not going to workout sometimes. Things will fall apart at the seams as much as you don’t want them to. That’s just the life of it. In fact, that’s just life in general.

Where can we possibly find the balancing point between revealing what is within our hearts – both fire and passion – and keeping people around. What I’ve done the past few years after getting burned time an time again is actually shut myself off from these opportunities because I am afraid of losing people. Let’s be honest, losing people really does suck. It’s one of the hardest things to deal with and you almost feel like you have lost a piece of yourself when someone has gone. A little piece of you just disappeared – maybe that’s why it feels so weird when people come and go.

But I keep coming back to that statement…you must find the courage to reveal it. Because without the courage to reveal it, you simply find yourself hiding from relationships and people – a task that I was very very good at. In fact, I was so good at masking myself from the honest eyes of others that I actually played a character that was very enthusiastic, outgoing, and upbeat. Not that I am not those things, but I have to say I’m not that way all the time. There are many times when I’m a very quiet and peaceful person…who doesn’t need to pump up the energy of a situation because he thinks that’s what will make it valuable and fun for everyone. Instead, I’m beginning to learn how to meet the situation and others where they are at instead of  trying to convince them to come to my level.

I keep hearing the word “intense” come up a lot and I really don’t know what to think about it right now…so instead I looked it up.

in·ten·si·ty
inˈtensədē/
noun
noun: intensity; plural noun: intensities
1.
the quality of being intense.
“gazing into her face with disconcerting intensity”
synonyms: strengthpowerpotencyforceMore

antonyms: apathyindifference

 

an instance or degree of this.
“an intensity that frightened her”

2.

PHYSICS
the measurable amount of a property, such as force, brightness, or a magnetic field.
“hydrothermal processes of low intensity”
synonyms: strengthpowerpotencyforceMore

Intensity is a pretty interesting word. But maybe it’s really not all that bad. In fact, I don’t think I can change this part of me, nor I would want to. I think where my intensity brings be back a few steps is when I am in the mode of “I am at war with the world.” Then, that intensity get’s in the way of creating deep and meaningful relationships because I cut myself off from people. But with these things that are going on inside of my heart, I do understand that there is an intensity to the feelings that I evoke and really there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t function on any other level really because it makes me feel like I am not me. Maybe this intensity is something that has been brought out in me after all those years of living under distress and wanting to hide under the covers.

The courage to reveal your heart. I keep saying it over and over again.

I also keep asking myself, “What would that look like?” What would be the type of expression which is purely authentic and full of love. Because honestly that’s what’s in there – lots of love and joy…and my challenge is to open up and reveal it and let the chips fall as they may.

- Evan Sanders

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The Better Man Project Book http://thebettermanprojects.com/the-better-man-project-book-2/ http://thebettermanprojects.com/the-better-man-project-book-2/#comments Fri, 20 Mar 2015 17:21:28 +0000 http://thebettermanprojects.com/?p=11522 The Better Man Project Book The Better Man Project book is a look at my daily journey towards becoming a better man, as well as a glimpse into the valuable lessons I learn along the way. Socrates once said, “True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.” I, in fact, know nothing. But because I know nothing, I have given myself the best opportunity to learn from everything. That is why I am here in front of you today, and that is how The Better Man Project was born. Several years ago, I sat on the bed in my small dorm room and realized that whatever path I was on was destined for disaster. My life lacked love, passion, and ...

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the-better-man-project-book

The Better Man Project Book

The Better Man Project book is a look at my daily journey towards becoming a better man, as well as a glimpse into the valuable lessons I learn along the way.

Socrates once said, “True knowledge exists in knowing that you know nothing.” I, in fact, know nothing. But because I know nothing, I have given myself the best opportunity to learn from everything. That is why I am here in front of you today, and that is how The Better Man Project was born.

Several years ago, I sat on the bed in my small dorm room and realized that whatever path I was on was destined for disaster. My life lacked love, passion, and goals that could inspire me to achieve my true potential. I was desperately trying to contain an emotional tornado inside of me, and realized that the damage was reaching a point of irreversibility. The forces of change were knocking on my door, and if that call was left unanswered, my worst nightmare was waiting for me right around the corner.

I decided to try something new. The Better Man Project was originally intended to be a 30-day challenge to develop myself into a better man. Well, the project passed 30 days, 60 days, 90 days…and now I stand in front of you – the product of almost 1,000 days of personal cave diving into the depths of my heart – lantern in hand, searching for even more answers.

I am not here to give you a formula. I am not here to tell you that I have some secret for how to be happy. Instead, I am here to tell you why you should embark on a journey that will be marked by times of darkness, but that will in the end, result in one thing: light.

Each and every one of you will have a different path. No two will be the same, but they will all have something in common: the fact that you will be going against the grain and living a life that you are proud of. You will face your fears by moving against a culture that is designed to groom you to be just like everyone else. But it won’t be easy because you will have to overcome significant obstacles in order to achieve true happiness and realize your dreams. However, when you finally remove can’t from your vocabulary, you will develop into someone who finds motivation and inspiration within in order to create a vibrant future.

I can tell you that my journey will never end. My life has permanently changed course because of this project and I have truly learned how to be a man. And to all the women out there, my project isn’t just about men’s issues. I am confident that if you join me and open this book, you might just find out how to be a better person as well.

I promise you that this is going to be one awesome, wild ride.

Love. Passion. Never Quit.

Purchase the book from Amazon here!


Reviews

First off, I want to give a big congratulations to my dude Evan Sanders! Not only for being absolutely awesome, but for actively pursuing his dream and for having the courage to tell his story so bravely. I first started reading the blog, which you can find the link to here:[…], in January of 2012. I entered into this journey with him while he was in the middle of his stride and had begun to hit the ground running. Even the posts from late summer of 2012 until now reveal an entirely different individual and I truly respect and admire that. I thoroughly enjoyed the fact that the book is broken up into three different sections, each with it’s own stride in the writing. From the first few posts, you are able to meet Evan where he is at–someone who is at the end of their rope, at rock-bottom and trying to navigate and make sense of a big, life-changing event. Once he decided to begin this project, throughout section two, you can truly grasp how much he has changed. The style is different, more passionate, and he is rebuilding the broken pieces in his life. By the time you dive into the third section, he is moving at lightening speed! It was great for me as the reader to be able to feel some of the things he was going through and be able to think back to where I was at certain points in my life ( each post throughout each section is dated which just adds to the overall flow of the book), so it is easy for the reader to look back where they were too. I also was able to reevaluate some things in my own life as I read and even had an opportunity to walk away with some incredible quotes along the way. Some of these include:

“it’s time to start running the day and not letting the day run you.”

“the darkness is part of the light. when you have one, you can appreciate the other. it makes you whole.”

“think first, ask questions later.”

“”In order to add something new into your life, you have to subtract something from your old existence.”

“be present in the moment you are living.”

“feed your faith so your fears will starve.”

“Without action you are powerless.”

Just to name a few! Those quotes above really spoke to me and something else I also admire about Evan is his ability to be completely vulnerable and honest in his writing. Not at any point does he claim to be better than anybody. He simply wants the readers to jump in and run on this journey with him. I do firmly believe that htis book is going to change lives. It has already helped inspire me to push forward with goals I have and really gave me hope that there are solid people of this generation who want to change the world and go against what society expects. I have been fortunate enough to have numerous phone calls, chats and skype sessions with Evan and have gained a new friend because of it.


 

As a fellow blogger, but with far less talent for openness and communication skills, I greatly appreciate what Evan has put forward. You can see the growth and changes, the motivation and the alertness that went into making this book. The style is not likely to grip you with suspense and you will not recognize a storyline, but that is because this book is about a man’s life and his own progress into betterment which reflects the true nature of our lives. This book is about change and waking up to harsh and subtle realities of our existence. You can feel the joy and the hope as well as the pain and the moments where he catches himself in a sorrowful moment. What is unique is that these moments are caught during a real recognition of that particular day.

Evan’s willingness to open up is amazing. He fights the urge to sit idly as his dreams go rushing by. He avoids the easy road of closing up his emotional facet, and this allows him to free himself of unwanted pains of yesterday for lessons that will help the future Evan excel.

I recommend this book highly for bloggers, writers, diary keepers, and anyone that has a dream that they themselves are holding in a mental prison.

I hope you do go and check out what is being said. You may be surprised at what you have in common. You may realize that you are on a path and that reading someone else’s journey may give you insight to your own.

After reading this book I thought it was the most common sense books I have read in a long time by such a young individual. A truly great diary of happenings and thoughts while growing up to be a young man. I have read this book twice and more of his experiences keep jumping out at me turning me back to my own life’s experiences and how I handled them. A book worth reading.


What can I say about this book. It changed my life.

I was at a point in my life where I felt so down and low of the person I was and who I became. I decided something needed to change and googled “become a better man” and as if by fate brought to Evan Sanders blog. I was intrigued and as I continued reading his post I became inspired. I then saw that he published a book and without a 2nd guess I bought it.

Within 3 days I burned through the book, I highlighted more then i ever did in any textbook or other book I have read. I felt connected with Evan.

Let me first say I have read books such as The Secret and 7 highly effective habits around the same time but this book is something else. Maybe its the simplicity, or the rawness of it but there is a special spark about Evan.

I felt as reading his stories, his words, and seeing him grow on his own journey that I was growing too. I was learning about Evan but even more so I was learning about myself. His words are expressed so thoughtfully I felt I was having a one on one conversation with him and even feel like Evan is a friend of mine even though i never met him.

I can write forever all the lessons I learned but I am telling you if your in a bad place, if your unsure of what to do with life, if you want to better yourself, or even if you want just a daily dose of enlightenment don’t hesitate to buy this book and read it. To this day I go back and read at least one passage to never stop learning these lesson.

I can’t wait to see what is to come from Evan Sanders.


This book is a groundbreaking work that will inspire men and women alike. The authors honesty in sharing real events from his own life really spoke to me about that work and raw energy that went into this book — and it shows. Evan’s writing is articulate and thought provoking and I hope this book gets the attention it deserves. This book will appeal to about anyone, and at cost of $5, what have you got to lose.

Thanks for doing what you’re doing, Evan.


I have been hooked since the first blog post I ever read! Evans openess to share his life’s ups and downs, and insights into life is just inspiring. You get to know Evan through these pages and it is perfect because, you will get to know yourself as well. I related to many many pages and I think you will too, it is for everyone, young and old, short and tall.

Download a copy of The Better Man Project to help motivate, inspire and get a move on to accomplish your own dreams and help someone accomplish theirs!


The Better Man Project is not your typical book. Do not let the title fool you either. This book is not just for men-it is for anyone. You don’t even have to be looking to become a better person to read this book, but I will tell you that it will inevitably happen.

This book is filled with real life events, both good and bad, that have a way of speaking to any audience. I found myself rereading many pages of this book, realizing how much I could relate to what Evan has written about. This book has not only helped me jumpstart a new, more positive way of thinking, but has also allowed me to reflect on certain aspects of my own life that I would not have before reading this.

This book does not have the answer to all of my life questions, nor does it solve all of my problems, but it like I already mentioned, has opened my mind to a more positive, optimistic way of living and thinking. This book is worth WAY more than the price it can be bought for, so, like I did, skip your 5 dollar latte today and spend that money on this book! It’s worth it!

Thanks Evan for pouring your heart, soul, and honesty into this book!


This book is not just for men, its for anyone and everyone. The authors ability to connect to my life was astounding. I found myself repeatedly looking over my shoulder as I read the book because there were so many times where I felt like the author was writing about my own life and to my very situation. This book is so much about hope for the author and for those that read it. Countless times in my life I have felt like no one has felt the way I have and then I read this book and realized that I am so far from alone. The author’s openness and venerability is what makes this book so amazing and like nothing else on the market. Yes, its categorized under “Self Help” but this book leaves you with a feeling of something so far from being on your own in this world. I know that I will dive back into those pages for years and years to come. This will not be one of those book you read one time, it’s a book that you will come back to again and again and I am certain you will find new depth and new truth each and every time.


Evan Sanders’ book, The Better Man Project, like his blog successfully enlightens the reader and shares the scope of a brilliant `man in progress’ as he discovers himself and learns the valuable lessons of life. What better way to document one’s process of becoming a man than through journal writing and blogging? Devote yourself to becoming a better one! Sanders unlocks the door of each aspect of a man’s world as he breaks through the boundaries of life’s disappointments, anguish, pain, and hostility. He uncovers the mysteries of love, honesty, integrity and respect. His acute sense of understanding the world around him and his ability to relate to all people enables him to share his philosophies and he gifts his inspiration to us in this book. It is not his story. It is not the answer. It is the beginning and the now of a great man and his unique insights to how we can all become better every day.

Interested in the The Better Man Project book? Download it here

The Better Man Project Book is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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I’m Ready To Do This http://thebettermanprojects.com/im-ready-to-do-this/ http://thebettermanprojects.com/im-ready-to-do-this/#comments Fri, 20 Mar 2015 16:53:47 +0000 http://thebettermanprojects.com/?p=11517 I’m ready to do this. This morning at 4:30 am I already dove in headfirst. No turning back now. Time to swim in the deep end. There’s a different feel to this day. It feels like there’s energy behind it. It really does that feeling of “I’m ready to do this.” Without a doubt I know I am onto something. I am going to keep swimming around and dive down and explore the depths. The realization that it wasn’t fear that was rocking me these past couple of weeks, but rather coming up against all of the positive habits that I have built for myself over the past 4 months and trying to change them, was a pretty big “aha ...

I’m Ready To Do This is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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I’m ready to do this.

This morning at 4:30 am I already dove in headfirst. No turning back now. Time to swim in the deep end.

There’s a different feel to this day. It feels like there’s energy behind it. It really does that feeling of “I’m ready to do this.” Without a doubt I know I am onto something. I am going to keep swimming around and dive down and explore the depths. The realization that it wasn’t fear that was rocking me these past couple of weeks, but rather coming up against all of the positive habits that I have built for myself over the past 4 months and trying to change them, was a pretty big “aha moment” today. Sometimes I can be a little rough around the edges with myself. But that’s okay, we are moving on ahead.

i'm-ready-to

Consistency.

If you do something again and again and again…something that is positive and you know it’s producing results, you will achieve great things. Keep being consistent even through the tough times. Keep coming to the plate each and every day. Each day is a brand new game. Of course you will feel the bumps, bruises, and soreness of previous games…that just comes with the territory. But be excited about today. Be excited about the game that is in front of you now.

We only have so many opportunities to step up to the plate and swing away.

I know firsthand what it’s like to waste away those opportunities. When you are doing that, you are standing at the plate and watching the pitcher just throw whatever he wants to you. I call this having your bat on your shoulder. It’s the easiest  thing in the world for life to strike you out when you have your bat on  your shoulder – you don’t even pose a threat.

So get up there and swing away. Try to drive that ball through the fence. Hit for line drives…and some of those will go out of the stadium. Don’t drop your back shoulder and swing for the fences…stay on top and line it into the gap. Every day. Day in and day out. Keep swinging. Don’t stop.

– Evan Sanders

Want to know what I’m getting myself into this year? Check out the 2015 Bucket List

 

I’m Ready To Do This is a post from: Inspirational Stories About Life

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