I’ve Been Searching For A Very Long Time

It’s hard to explain where I’ve been.

Even though I was the one who walked the path, not every step was accounted for by memory.

I was called to come back home from my travels, to dive deep into the mountains, to quiet everything down and to learn in a way like I never had before.

The journey challenged me down to my core and asked of me far more than I had ever asked of myself. I raged and battled against it for some time but eventually I started to float down river with it and found things I never knew I was looking for.

After a year of diving into the depths, I found my healers, mentors and guides.

I found answers to questions I had been holding for my entire life and learned how to heal my body and soul. While I’m not at the “end of the line” I now realize that I am much closer to completely uncharted territory than I had ever been.

The path that I traveled was traveled by very few before. I listened to their stories and learned from their experiences. I realized that they struggled and suffered deeply on it as well and that freed me in a way. It made me realize that my experience wasn’t an exception, but rather a right of passage that everyone has to go through.

I feel like I have another chance at life.

The first 29 years were everything and anything. They shaped me in the most mysterious of ways. As I look back on it now, starting to write was one the most impactful decisions I have ever made. While I didn’t write every single day, I wrote when it mattered (and that I can be proud of).

This life hasn’t turned out anything like I thought it would. I never could have predicted this. But I think that’s the point. The point is you get what you need and not necessarily what you want.

I definitely received what I needed.

The reason I know I’m on the right path is because this doesn’t feel like some big goal that has to be achieved, but just a nice easy movement forward in the right direction.

It won’t last 8,10, or 12 weeks…but rather a lifetime.

The last time I made a decision like that, it changed my life drastically.

So this is it.

A new day.

Another step forward.

We are on our way.

Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project

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