Maybe This Was Redemption

Maybe redemption came in the form of knowing that at any point, at any moment, I could completely change everything…by changing how I view what’s happening right now.

I could could change the story in a heartbeat.

I could solidify it with action.

Too often I’ve sat alone sitting scared of going out into the world and truly showing who I am. I’ve disconnected and distanced myself from others, never really giving them the chance to love me.

But as I’ve come to honor the hearts and souls of those around me, and realize that the stars live in them as much as myself, I see how united we really are – how there’s no me vs. you.

We are just the same. We are all the same. We are one.

Those times where I’ve hidden away I knew that I was acting out of fear. But now, I’m opening back up again like a flower.

I’ve looked to the past a lot over this past week to really understand where a lot of my habits have come from. This feeling of loneliness has caused me to contract around a few that are really bad for me.

So I started to ask the question…”When do I feel the most connected?”

When am I not lonely?

When I’m outside in Nature. When I’m spending time with people I care about. When I’m talking to the people in my life who matter.

But also, and maybe even more importantly, when I am following the path I know I need to be taking. Nothing makes me feel more out of wack than not giving it my all and giving a half-assed effort towards paving the way for myself into the future.

I haven’t been that great at following my own battle plans this year.

But I changed that today. I recommitted back to what I know I need to do and I’m starting again. No beating myself up anymore. No looking back and trying to figure anything else out. Just forward. Only forward.

Stick to the plan.

Stick to the plan.

Every day, put in the work. Chip away. Eventually, you will be right up on the top of that mountain.

I’m not doing this for recognition or popularity. I’m doing this because there’s something deep inside me calling me to put forward all of these things that I’ve held back for such a long time.

It just whispers, “gooooo.”

“Do it.”

“Everything will change.”

And I believe this. I believe that if I really do it, things will change for me drastically. All of these things  got in the way of me going for it – most of them having to actually do with me personally.

But I’m adopting the to-hell-with-it attitude and just giving it a go.

So for the next 24 months, every day, I’m putting in the work.

I can give it my all. 24 months from now I will turn 30. For some reason, that number has constantly shown up in my dreams as a very special day.

So until then, I grind.

I hustle.

I put in the work.

I’m going to build something that will last me the rest of my life that I can be proud of.

And when I get there?

I’m sure that I will have something else come up to go for as well.

This is about chasing after and living in dreams.

Nothing excites me more.

It’s time to go.

Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project


“raw. electric. a daily shock to the soul.”

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