Don’t worry, I’ve got you. Come along.
It’s the kid version of me that I care so dearly for. While I’ve grown up in many ways, I find myself heading back to him, the overly adventurous and mischievous kid who’s imagination ran wild in as many ways as it could.
That kid is fiercely adventurous.
Falling in love with the trees and climbing deep into their arms.
No sense of time.
Many many years later, I would come across meeting him again as I fell into the depths. I saw him, that bold and adventurous soul, and he said words to me that I would never forget. He spoke truth into me. Then, when he saw that I had been touched by the message, he ran off again into the woods.
It has been fear that has caused be to pause at the gates of those deep woods.
Was it fear of what I would discover? Guilt holding me back? It might take a lifetime to know. In fact, trying to understand all of the intricacies and layers to “why” might be a good exercise but not the wisest use of my time. There’s only the end message that really matters.
Find your way when you get there. Step into those trees.
There’s nothing to fear just the world that’s waiting to embrace you.
I think I’ve protected myself for such a long time I didn’t want to put myself in the hands of something else. If I let go of that control, something terrible might happen. And yet, as I’ve gone farther and farther into all of this I understand now more than ever that I have to let go of that. I have step into the ultimate space of belief and trust that I am being taken care of.
This is something that really hasn’t been easy for me.
But there’s a great calling for it isn’t there?
To open up to the possibility of something more beyond what I can control. I speak these words into the hearts of others and yet I even have my own journey to take farther and farther into a sense of meaning. This trip isn’t one of seeing places. I’ve realized that I had it all wrong when I was going about it the first time. This trip is about discovering the way these places open me up. It’s about how they make me feel. It’s about seeing life as art and having these canvases to paint on.
For a great deal of time I would come here to write in an expression of that art. As happy or as painful as it may have been at times, it would come out in its own form of expression. Stopping that process stopped the journey. That, I can see very clearly now.
I never have looked at any of this as having to reach a goal. Writing to me has always been something that has soothed my soul and allowed me to discover more of who I really am. Even when there was no one watching, I felt that the process had so much to value that I would do it for as long as I could. Now, I can see how much that touches the lives of others and of how much importance it really all is.
But it all starts here.
The pouring out of words onto the page and the realizations that pop up in my head while engaging in all of this. This is where it begins. Because without this, I lose my way more than ever.
But with it, I am found again.
-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project