It was never about trying to fit in when I started.
But I knew that life. I knew what it felt like to be outcasted and not a part of the community.
You feel completely alone. Separated. Out of touch.
As I think more and more about it, and discover the reasons for why I do what I am doing, there’s a piece of all of this that wanted to touch the lives of those who are going through and have gone through what I did. I wanted to take away that suffering. Or, if I couldn’t take it away for them, at least sooth their soul in having them realize that they weren’t alone and this was a place where they would go and feel understood.
I relate to those who have been pushed and shoved.
I relate to those who feel alone.
Because I’ve been there. And, if I’m being completely honest with you, I’m there a lot.
But it’s a different type of a silence. The silence is the type of silence you would hear when you’re walking through the woods deep off trail. The only sounds are those not made by man. My head shuts off in that place and my heart begins to whisper.
In that place, I truly hear.
There have been many strange pieces to this journey that has landed me in 2017.
There have been twists and turns, great failures, falling hard a few times and climbing back up, and successes that will forever mark my soul.
And as this year begins, I look to the opportunity to discover more and more about myself. I look for the moments of fear that I can step into. I look to the moments of growth that will come as a result of completely unexpected things that come along my path.
That’s part of the excitement.
That’s part of the fear.
You can spend your entire life pulled off the road.
You can spend it worrying about what’s going to happen…what could happen…what might happen because it happened in the past…
You can play in between the lines that have been created, walk the path that everyone else is walking, and never really take a risk.
You can do life that way and you can lead a happy life. There’s nothing wrong with it at all. It is certainly one way of doing things and I have respect for that.
But that’s not where my heart lives.
My heart lives in the place of grand adventure, risk, failure, and rising back up to climb the mountain time and time again. That’s where I am the happiest. That’s where I have life breathing into me.
No safety nets.
Going for it.
And if I get hurt?
Well, I will recover and learn.
And jump right back on to go for it again.
-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project
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