When I started this, I wasn’t sure what it was going to become.
I didn’t know that this project would take on a life of its own, morph me and shape me in the ways that it did, be as challenging as it has been at times and land me right here.
I could never have predicted that at the age of 27 I would be traveling the world – as free as could be – finding a passion at 27 and feeling myself become unlocked in ways that I could only really understand and never explain to anyone else.
At times, this has been very very hard on me.
I’ve always said that I’ve been blessed and cursed at the same time with feeling so deeply and experiencing so much. On one hand caring so much gives you so much happiness and life but when things happen they inevitably yank on your heart strings and you’re feeling it for a while.
But it’s not worth it to live scared of that.
Because honestly, if I’ve learned anything, that’s going to happen anyways. It’s all fluid. It’s all cyclical. Things are going to change and if you come to accept that you actually will stay out of the pain a lot longer because you’re not suffering over what should have happened.
It just happened. And if you want to take it to another level, it happened the way it needed to happen and not the way you wanted it to. There’s value in that experience.
I’ve found that for me, there’s an interesting balancing act between getting what I want and truly getting what I need. Most of the time, I get what I need. But that’s never really been a bad thin when I look into it. It has been something that has served me time and time again. It has, like I said before, morphed me into the person I am today.
I often think back to who I was before all of this began and only really come up with one word – lost.
To be honest, I never really was this introspective and didn’t really think much about my actions or my place in the world. I was just there. Functioning. Chasing a dream (that hasn’t changed) but not really being able to see the big picture. Nothing much else mattered to me because I was so consumed by the things that were going on around me.
And yet now, I’m facing this giant.
This hurdle I know that I have to get over.
It’s a hurdle that is going to give life to the next stage of all of this. The hurdle of bringing pure consistency to the table every single day. Not consistency for the sake of production, but consistency for the sake of truly being able to give whatever gifts I have in me on a daily basis to which I know I am capable.
So for the next three months, I am going to hammer away at that every single day. There, my intention is out in the universe and I can’t take it back.
One step at a time.
One rep at a time.
One wave at a time.
One expression at a time.
-Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project