The captain paced
He paced in his cabin
He paced on the deck at night
He looked up at the stars to see them glimmering down upon him
But he was restless
For reasons only he barely understood
A restless heart
A restless soul
He brought himself to this place
Encouraged others to come along with him
And found himself coming across deeper waters
Waters he’s never seen before
While he traveled many times he’s never seen waters like these
Pure blue, deep, and powerful
As they shifted underneath the boat he could feel the changes
The currents
The strange adjustments in his heading
And there he was finding himself unsettled
Unsure of what is right ahead of him
All this was true
And at the same time, there was another truth
It was always strange to him how both of these things could exist at the same time
The unsettled parts of his soul and yet…
He was sure of the way to go
He trusted himself
But knew he had to dive further into that
He trusted himself
He trusted who he was
What was inside of him
He trusted the path he had chosen for himself
And what that path would yield
He knew there would be these moments
These moments of doubt and deep waters
Moments where he would have to think things over
Moments where he would have to take steps back
Doubt had entered into his life time and time again
Because he was so open
He had destroyed any walls that would protect him from things
He was vulnerable to it all
A mirror to it all
It gave him access to everything he had always wanted
But made him face all that wasn’t pretty
These deep waters challenged him
These deep waters worked over him
They kept him up at night and unsettled him
But in all of that they brought him back
Time and time again
Made him sink his heels further into the deck
Made him dive deeper into himself
To ground himself in what he knew
What he was made of
Who he was
Despite these deep unexplored waters
He knew exactly who he needed to be
He was never going to be a cold and timid soul
Who stood looking upon those who risked
No he knew where he belonged
Risking it all
Traveling further and further into the waters
Challenging everything in himself
Living into the pressure
Experiencing it all
And yet living fearlessly through it
…
…
These deep waters
Yes they are challenging me right now
Far to long now have I wondered
About their depths
But I know I must forge ahead
I will rise to this challenge
Pressure creates diamonds
I know I’m alive
Evan Sanders
The Better Man Project
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