Oh Captain My Captain


This entire week, it has been mulling in me. This feeling of something just being slightly off. I couldn’t figure it out for the life of me because I felt like everything was fine and handled but it wasn’t. There was something still just not quite right about where I was that felt like as sticking point for…years.

It came down to this.


Belief that everything I am doing is going to send me in the exact direction I need to be headed in. Belief that all of the extra effort, going the extra mile, the discipline, the focused ambitions, the hard work, sweat, tears…all of it, will take me where I need to be taken. I don’t know exactly what all of it is going to look like right now – how could I. But what I do know is that I am headed that way…I am loving that path…and I have faith that I have the ability to do what I was put here to do.

But here’s the kicker.

For the longest of times, my mind has been distracted by all sorts of things. Mostly…the #1 if I’m going to be completely honest with you…is what other people are doing. What are they doing and chasing after etc. What are they up to? I’ve been focusing pieces of my mind on what other people are doing instead of paying full attention to the path I’m on right now. When my mind would go off into another persons world my critic would go off and unravel everything that was going on in mine. Truth is, I would end up being undisciplined in continuing to see my purpose through every single day because my mind was getting distracted.

And lord how many distractions are there in the world today…far too many.

So I took care of what I needed to take care of (deleting some apps, getting myself off of social media, restructuring my working process) and taking a deeper level of commitment to what I’m up to.


Because I believe. I believe in this vision that I have in my mind. I believe that it’s possible for me – I mean really believe. It is possible for me. I am capable. I have what it takes. But what was the next step – more discipline in the area of what was taking me out of the game.

If I don’t fully go for what I know I can achieve, I will live in regret. This has been a week and a half of this same conversation over and over and I think it’s a sign. The only way that I’m going to live in a place of no regret is to do everything I know I can do. So I’m going to do that.

I’ve removed the distractions.

I’ve removed the things that needed to be taken out of my life so I can show up and provide what I know I can.

Sometimes, it’s about adding through subtracting. This is where I am at now…focusing on what really matters instead of letting my mind get pulled away by the noise of it all. I made the decision because it’s what resonates deeply with me. That feels good. It all feels good. I’m in a much better place.

-Evan Sanders


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  • Margie Herrera
    September 11, 2015 at 10:16 pm

    All your calculations will add up.
    Have a good nights rest.
    Sweet dreams

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    September 12, 2015 at 1:56 am

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  • Cheerleader of the little things
    September 12, 2015 at 5:48 am

    Smiling…..thank you! Consider the word “know” over “believe”…..and yes….feel good!!! I have come to the same realizations…and just this morning, the bit about feeling good about what I am doing, just me, not comparing to anyone else, just me….ahhhh, that bubbly joy is where it’s at!!!

  • cristi
    September 12, 2015 at 9:57 am

    Distractions are bad. Discipline is good. “…it’s about adding through subtracting” is brilliant! Best wishes and keep up the good work 🙂

  • saturnchild
    September 12, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    Belief is the only thing that will hold you in stead. It is easy to get distracted; it is a sign that internally there are conflicts rising. Pay attention to them and try to figure out why – it may help you understand, thereby process this phase, much better.

  • Stephanie Alexander
    September 12, 2015 at 7:03 pm

    I completely relate to this. All of my life, I’ve watched my life unravel through the lens of society. I perform instead of live. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one. I believe it takes some drastic to break that insidious circle… like doing something you fear.