Something shifted in me while I was asleep last night. I woke up this morning and felt a very different feeling. The more and more I go through this project, the more I realize it wasn’t something that added itself to my life, it was most likely something that released. I think for a while I was holding a few things – stories, fears, etc. and with a couple of changes everything just shifted. I woke up lighter, happier, more vibrant on the inside. But more importantly, I woke up ready to take on Sunday, the start to the final leg of the vision I had created for myself since I was 12 years old and have relentlessly set out to complete time and time again.
Last time I went down this path I did something I had never done. In fact, I unglued myself from a story that took me 7 years to get out of. But there’s something much different about this time around. This time, I know that I can do it because I’ve done it before. This time, I’m much more confident because I’m traveling a path – while new in a few different ways – is semi-familiar and I knocked it out of the park the first time around.
The next few months has a major fitness aspect to it…one that I am very ready to dive into again. But as I drew out a completely new vision on my big chalkboard this evening, I attached major aspects to my mind and to my soul into this time period as well. For the first time in my life, I’ve incorporated deep integration into something I am going after…that is a very deep expression of my purpose…and I am eager and excited to see what comes of it.
I am making major changes to my reality…some that have been waiting for me to make that decision for a long long time. I’ve known that they were there, but I don’t think I was ready to let go of them yet. I’m ready now. Not that I am 100% ready to do this – I’m not I’m pretty uncomfortable at the present moment…but I’m “ready” to take the first step forward…and that’s as much as I’ll ever need to be ready for.
When I think back to the first major milestone of this vision back in February, I am very aware that it was really a big piece of the puzzle and a fantastic milestone, but it wasn’t the realization of the dream in full. I realized that when I was doing my shoot and for the months after. That didn’t discourage me…it motivated me to continue my trek. I’m doing this because it’s something that I’m being called to do. Yes, I love blogging and posting content that inspires peoples minds, but there’s also a tremendous amount of wisdom in the body as well.
The body can tell us so much about ourselves and can serve as an expression in itself of what our soul is made of. We aren’t stuck in this piece of meat, but rather this is just how we have manifested. To me, I think that’s a pretty darn cool idea and I’m ready to show that in its full…something that I saw 14 years ago.
Even when I just wrote that…14 years ago, I got a bit of a rush of energy coming through me. I think for me during these past few years, as I have gone out and done things very very different than most of the people I’m surrounded by…not saying better or worse just different…I can catch myself in brief moments wondering if I’m really doing the right thing.
But then, I remember all of the people who have reached out to me in the past and who have sought my help and I know I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. I’m willing to sacrifice my time, my sleep, and my comfort to serve as an example to others that they can get unstuck, unravel their pasts, come back to being present and build whatever they want into their life in a amazing and sustainable way. That’s part of my mission in life and to be that example…I have to do it by example.
There are more shifts coming. I can just feel them on the horizon. This morning was something else though. This morning took me a little bit by surprise. That’s ok though…I love it. I love every minute of this time period right now. Complete uncertainty. No idea what is going to really come next. Plenty of room to have my socks knocked off.
– Evan Sanders