It’s been some time since I’ve written under these strings of incandescent lights draped across my kitchen. The little glow they give off brings a mood out in me. It’s warm, deep…some sort of wavelength that’s hard to describe. Yet, that’s how all body senses are aren’t they? Almost impossible to put to words.
It’s amazing how moods can shift so quickly after being so dramatically present for such a long time. A little while ago, I was writing about the present mood of loneliness / silence because of the long hours of the day I would spend working on something without much contact with anyone. That mood lasted for around a month…and after what seemed like an eternity it decided to just up and go. It exited from me after staying for however long it wanted…and I have to tell you that waking up that next morning after it did really threw me for a loop. I went back to work and felt a little bit more free…a little bit more stable with my feet planet in the ground.
It’s taken me a while to get to a place where I can just say, “In it’s time…it will happen.”
This, is a pretty recent development for me. I think it falls in line with me dropping unaligned goals and ambitions like flies over the past few months. I say unaligned because if something isn’t in direct alignment with my deepest purpose it’s gone. I also make my decisions now from that place…”does this support that? Would I be proud of this decision in 5…10…15 years?” I guess that’s just the development of the timeline in my mind lately.
But back to the in its time concept…everything that enters into your mind will have its time and place if you let it. Problem was, I never let anything cook long enough. I wanted to take that cake out of the oven right NOW instead of letting it do its thing. Once I started letting these ideas, visions, and thoughts take form and shape themselves over time, I realized that they could come out a whole lot more complete than if I forced them.
There’s an interesting balance between doing something right now because you don’t want to waste time and letting something cook for a bit because you know the idea isn’t finished yet. Somehow, I think I’m starting to find that balance…and honestly I think it’s coming through a not so little word called trust.
I trust that I am in good hands. I trust that everything is going to happen at the perfect time. I trust that I have the ability to help other people change their minds so they can change their lives.
There are amazing things happening right now and there’s some backseat urge to try to want to make things go faster. Nope. Can’t happen. I have to let them cook properly. It’s not that I can’t make them happen right this instant, but if I did, I know they wouldn’t be ready.
These next few months should be one hell of a ride.
– Evan Sanders