What’s the dirty little secret? Well, let me tell you a story first.
When I first got into all of this, writing, reading, expanding, exploring…I had some ideas about what the whole personal development process was supposed to look like. I thought I would read somethings, apply them to my life, and problems would magically disappear.
A few weeks into the process, I quickly found out that this was not going to be the case at all. The timeline – 30 days – was not even going to be close to enough in terms of the necessary commitment to really heal and I had a sneaking suspicion that pain after pain was going to come out to play and haunt me.
Well…it did. That’s what makes the healing process unique…and that’s its dirty little secret.
From everything I’ve read, nothing really tells you about this coming your way.
When we get into the self help industry, we don’t really get much access to how deep and dark some of the times are on this journey of development. We understand that there are things to do and experiences to be had…but there’s this lack of depth, both light and dark, that shows up in the materials we read. Maybe this is because the general population can’t stomach it or possibly because this type of depth is avoided in putting into written form? I really don’t know. But I think it’s doing everyone a pretty big disservice by not telling you about the soul wrenching times that are coming.
Well, because when you going down the path of improving your life and developing, you will inevitably come across these times and since no one really told you that there were going to be massive challenges coming your way, you end up thinking you’re doing something wrong. The fact of the matter is, you are doing something incredibly right.
As the quote says above, and I haven’t found a quote on healing that really sums the process up as accurately as this one…”it rips to shreds the structures and foundations I built in weakness and ignorance.” This is not a gentle process. This is a “ravaging force” and it’s coming to tear apart everything you created out of fear.
This force, however, if you let it do its good work is a cleansing force. But cleansing can be a bit painful at times. Thing is, you can’t shy away from everything that is temporarily painful because you might end up cutting yourself off from the amazing benefits from these processes.
So back to my story. As I went into this process deeper and deeper, I started to find pockets of pain that had manifested themselves in one way or another in my life and when I started to dig into those…what do you think happened? They released! Yeah…that release is great, but it can be painful at times.
It can be REALLY painful when you are working with deep emotional pain that you have buried deep down inside forever. If you are brave enough to go there alone, I salute you. Sometimes however, you need support mechanisms to help walk you through those things to really help you feel safe during hard conversations. That’s why I love my job so much – I can be that person for people.
Healing isn’t a nice and clean process. It’s gritty, dirty at times, and brutal at the most perfect-unperfect moments. It’s going to challenge you. That’s the point though. I’m writing tonight to let you know that if you are going through some things in your life – whatever that may be – it’s okay to feel like you are getting ripped to shreds and torn down to the last pieces of who you are. That right there actually means you are doing the good work.
The hard work. The work that most people don’t do. You are getting down to the core of what the actual issues are and letting everything else get cleared out. Healing is a method of addition by subtraction. Sometimes, you are going to feel like you are having very important things ripped out of your life, only to find that those things only seemed important because you blew them up in your mind.
Just some perspective for you tonight coming from someone going through some deep healing processes and experiencing it first hard.
Will you make the jump?
– Evan Sanders