The Art Of Healing & Its Dirty Little Secret

The Art Of Healing & Its Dirty Little Secret

What’s the dirty little secret? Well, let me tell you a story first.

When I first got into all of this, writing, reading, expanding, exploring…I had some ideas about what the whole personal development process was supposed to look like. I thought I would read somethings, apply them to my life, and problems would magically disappear.

A few weeks into the process, I quickly found out that this was not going to be the case at all. The timeline – 30 days – was not even going to be close to enough in terms of the necessary commitment to really heal and I had a sneaking suspicion that pain after pain was going to come out to play and haunt me.

Well…it did. That’s what makes the healing process unique…and that’s its dirty little secret.

enter healing

From everything I’ve read, nothing really tells you about this coming your way.

When we get into the self help industry, we don’t really get much access to how deep and dark some of the times are on this journey of development. We understand that there are things to do and experiences to be had…but there’s this lack of depth, both light and dark, that shows up in the materials we read. Maybe this is because the general population can’t stomach it or possibly because this type of depth is avoided in putting into written form? I really don’t know. But I think it’s doing everyone a pretty big disservice by not telling you about the soul wrenching times that are coming.


The Art Of Healing

Well, because when you going down the path of improving your life and developing, you will inevitably come across these times and since no one really told you that there were going to be massive challenges coming your way, you end up thinking you’re doing something wrong. The fact of the matter is, you are doing something incredibly right.

As the quote says above, and I haven’t found a quote on healing that really sums the process up as accurately as this one…”it rips to shreds the structures and foundations I built in weakness and ignorance.” This is not a gentle process. This is a “ravaging force” and it’s coming to tear apart everything you created out of fear.

This force, however, if you let it do its good work is a cleansing force. But cleansing can be a bit painful at times. Thing is, you can’t shy away from everything that is temporarily painful because you might end up cutting yourself off from the amazing benefits from these processes.

So back to my story. As I went into this process deeper and deeper, I started to find pockets of pain that had manifested themselves in one way or another in my life and when I started to dig into those…what do you think happened? They released! Yeah…that release is great, but it can be painful at times.

It can be REALLY painful when you are working with deep emotional pain that you have buried deep down inside forever. If you are brave enough to go there alone, I salute you. Sometimes however, you need support mechanisms to help walk you through those things to really help you feel safe during hard conversations. That’s why I love my job so much – I can be that person for people.

Healing isn’t a nice and clean process. It’s gritty, dirty at times, and brutal at the most perfect-unperfect moments. It’s going to challenge you. That’s the point though. I’m writing tonight to let you know that if you are going through some things in your life – whatever that may be – it’s okay to feel like you are getting ripped to shreds and torn down to the last pieces of who you are. That right there actually means you are doing the good work.

The hard work. The work that most people don’t do. You are getting down to the core of what the actual issues are and letting everything else get cleared out. Healing is a method of addition by subtraction. Sometimes, you are going to feel like you are having very important things ripped out of your life, only to find that those things only seemed important because you blew them up in your mind.

Just some perspective for you tonight coming from someone going through some deep healing processes and experiencing it first hard.

Will you make the jump?

– Evan Sanders

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  • Marisol Flores
    July 5, 2015 at 7:43 pm

    Ditto. It’s especially traumatic if you are healing both mind and body. I used to think the body, mind and soul are separate entities. They are not. While you’re alive at least, they depend on and feed off each other. So, when your pain has manifested as illness, there’s a lot to do. Scary symptoms as your body tries to rebalance and turn the tide. Moments when you think you might actually be getting worse. Insecurity, rage, waves of emotion from seemingly nowhere. The fear that you might be going insane, because, don’t people just sort of like, medicate this stuff away and carry on? Shove these feelings under the rug and carry on? Why am I so special that I need to heal everything? The realization that the things that mattered don’t really matter, but you have no idea how to pull away from them or what to replace them with. The realization that it is likely not going to be a magical quick fix, but an ongoing thing which could take months or years. The insight I’ve gotten on myself, and the healing, both physical and emotional, is so worth it. I just wish more people would be taught the importance of patience, gratitude and self acceptance before reaching these scary points. once you’ve got that down,life is simpler.

  • libbycole007
    July 5, 2015 at 8:05 pm

    So true. Sometimes you have to go through the hurt first, before you can get to what people usually think of as “healing”. But it’s all part of it.

  • AwakeningAngels
    July 5, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    Yes I hear ya! I too didn’t learn about patience and self-acceptance (and acceptance in general) til later on.

    My healing journey magnified ten fold when I moved into the healing profession. I think we don’t find out that before we start because then we might get scared off. I still reckon it’s all worth it. I wouldn’t go back to where i was mentally, emotionally and spiritually 10 or 15 years ago, even if someone paid me.

    Your posts are always really interesting and thought provoking, enticing me to reflect upon my own journey and learnings.

    With love, Sharon

    • thebettermanprojects
      July 17, 2015 at 5:27 pm

      really happy you liked it! I love your comment it was incredibly thoughtful and thoughtful 🙂

  • tellingheavysecrets
    July 5, 2015 at 11:08 pm

    Yes I am with you on this one. You have aptly summarised the last 16 months of my life! “healing is a method of addition by subtraction”- absolutely. I have lost a husband and parents and many old coping mechanisms and habits from my past but I have gained ME. Thank you for sharing.

  • jillbobby
    July 6, 2015 at 1:07 am

    No one has ever summed it up better than this. Healing and evolving are not as easy as people think; but they certainly have their own wings. Great one, my friend!

  • joseph elon lillie
    July 6, 2015 at 3:37 am

    The longer we hold dysfunction or illness of any kind the more it comes to define us. Healing threatens our definition of who we are. If we lose our pain what ate we left with? The fear of answering that question keeps many people tied to their problems.