Sometimes I feel like I’m going a bit crazy with this vision that is in my head. This is very different than a daydream or a scattered dream I’ve created. This vision has become clearer and clearer ever since purpose bubbled up to the surface for me a few months ago. I can paint it. I can feel it. More than anything, I believe it.
I know there are some things I have to leave behind in myself in order to have this vision continue to come to be. However, what i know the most out of anything is that I have to have ridiculous amounts of patience. This is something that I’ve been learning a lot lately and I have to say, as things have been going to far, I’m taking on that lesson well.
In 2 days, I turn 26 years old after one of the craziest years of my life. When that happens, I’ll write a post about all that I’ve learned during my 25th year, but I actually want to continue talking about something completely different.
I tap into what is going on with popular culture and the vibes that are getting sent out by my age group / demographic and slightly above us and have found that a lot of people are focusing on “what they will have when they get there.” The problem is, “getting there” isn’t a guarantee and it’s also a impossible mirage. So I gave up “getting there” and really started to focus on “what type of man do I want to be when I’m…here.”
I have things that I want to continue to build into my character because it sure as hell calls for more development. I love not being perfect. I love making mistakes – as much as they suck sometimes. I love having constant room to grow and will take on that challenge until the day I die. I know for a fact that patience, focus, and creativity under pressure are a few areas where I can really learn more. The list of things really does go on but those are places I would love to develop in the near future. I’ve started to create a much healthier relationship with silence and find myself enjoying it more than fearing it’s deafening lack of sound.
This vision, the sometimes impossible vision that exists in my head…well, I know it’s possible.
I know that with 2 months more hard work and sweat equity I will be able to enjoy it all. After spending the past month struggling away at trying something new, I know that these next two months will be much easier in terms of actually getting the work done that needs to be accomplished. I’m more skilled at creating what needs to be created and have more ideas about what could actually come forth as great content. There’s a lot of room to grow and a lot of time ahead of me spent doing it. This, more than anything, excites me instead of intimidates me.
Big changes are coming. I can feel them.
– Evan Sanders