There have been many long days and long nights lately. But most of all, there’s been this dead silence. The type of silence where the faintest of whispers sound like someone is talking right next to you. The presence of this type of silence has caused some loneliness at times, and yet when that passes focus and continued work is left over. Recently, I have spent less and less time on my phone and more time focusing on what I need to do. I think, to be honest, my phone was one of the greatest distractions I had and now for almost the entire day it is put away or turned over out of reach. There’s just this…indescribably silence left over and it’s allowing me to produce like I never have before.
Loneliness is a pretty interesting thing to deal with when it comes up in your life. Most of the time we miss either someone or something and then focus on not having that right now. For me, when loneliness strikes, it is usually my mind entering into the past and overthinking things. I replay situations, go through things that were said…and pretty much strip myself from being present as I should be. So, I have to come back. I have to focus back again on what I am doing right now and bring myself to a place where I can come back to what I am capable of doing in this moment. It’s not the easiest thing to do because that feeling often sticks with you for a while…but you must come back.
The past is a place of reference but not a place where you should reside.
Neither is the future really. Yes, things are always exciting when we travel into the land of the unknown, but it can just as much stop you from living presently as living in the past does. I’ve lived in both placed…so you can trust me when I say that last statement.
This silence isn’t destroying my life – it’s directing it.
I guess, this is where my potential really lives…in the dead quiet. I never really discovered that until recently. Never before in my life have I been able to feel as un-stuck as I feel now, which in truth, is quite peculiar because I actually thought it was going to be the other way around. What I do know which is more based of a gut feeling more than anything, is that this silence – the ability to compete with my potential and be productive – is going to absolutely need to be an integral part of my life as time moves forward…because I feel that things are about to change.
I’m going to need time to turn everything off in my life and sit there with a pen and paper and get what needs to come out…out. I just feel that to be a truth that will exist – especially knowing what I know right now.
This to me isn’t a small basic discovery that simply covers up a topic on the day to day blog. This is a elemental reality that I was missing for a long time and now completely understand its importance. Funnily enough, I can’t believe I missed this lesson after doing hours upon hours of silent meditation…having my deep purpose pop out of that…and having the clearest mind I’ve ever had when I was done with it. But, I guess in due time all things come back around to you when you are ready to learn them.
So, as it stands right now, I’m going to continue enjoying how quiet it is and be patient with how things are developing. At times, it can be difficult to allow things to continue on at a snails pace…but I must be patient. I’ve waited my entire life for an opportunity like this and I have to spend each moment I have putting myself into it. There’s really no other option at this point. I guess we will just have to see how things pan out?
Back to work.
Back into the quiet.
And oh yes…I’m listening
– Evan Sanders