And suddenly, you begin to believe in the power of starting something new…new beginnings, fresh pages and perfectly splashed black ink everywhere imaginable.
These past couple of days for me have been reflective. Deeply reflective. They had me going back and exploring some familiar territory and getting a better feel for what was going on inside of me. Honestly, sitting here tonight I feel like something has changed. Tension has eased in many different aspects, but overall…things are just powerfully calm. That may sound like a strange combination of words…but for whats taking place – it’s really not.
Things have settled. Things have calmed down significantly. Tonight, I just feel a different vibe out there altogether. I don’t really know what is is but I’m going to run with it. Maybe there’s been a whole lot more of that going on as well. I think part of it is that I crossed the first milestone I had to with my new project and now I have to play a little bit of a waiting game to see what actually happens in terms of results. I have “guarantees” on what I will see…but for this, I will have to see it with my own eyes. I want to see what I am actually getting #’s wise instead of just guessing. I’ve taken the guessing out of this part of the equation and were going to see what this really can do.
New things are coming. Very new things. At the same time, other things are passing. It’s a strange feeling to not be attached to either. There’s excitement yes, but attachment…not really. I guess I’m starting to really understand what “going with the flow” means in terms of what’s happening with my life – what my own direction is and not getting in my own way. I used to be really good at that – getting in my own way. But now, there’s this integration going on that I can’t quite explain too well. There’s a meshing of things…even more like a perfect blending of aspects…that are all coming together in their own time. I catch myself being impatient from time to time with these things…but then just return back to “it’s going to happen at just the right time…right when it needs to happen.”
Just this feeling…it’s stuck on me like sap.
I’ve never had all three together before. I’ve never had that silence be so comforting. I’ve never had the ocean within me so calm…and yet at the same time, so capable of great power. I’ve never really been this dense before and to be completely honest I really like it. That heaviness is keeping me in my place. That heaviness has allowed me to stick with what I’m doing and just have complete and utter faith that everything that is supposed to happen will.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I just know that it’s going to have a different feeling to it altogether. This chapter of my life is about going for it. Really going for it. And I am. I can’t wait to have you see what’s about to happen.
– Evan Sanders