No Fear Of Uncertainty.
Gifts. Many many gifts lately.
Not huge gifts…but little ones. Profound ones.
Like those thoughtful gifts that you get someone that only you really ever could have known they wanted. Yeah…those gifts. Those guys are being given to me…maybe because I’ve been, for the first time, willing to sit in the thick of it? Don’t really know. But what I can tell you is that the past few months, well, they’ve prepared me to be completely certain in uncertainty.
I love weekends because I can shut down a bit – turn off the schedule, let things flow a little bit more, ease back on working crazy hours and just be here. In fact, there’s nothing else I would rather be doing right now that sitting here in my chair writing. It’s been a pretty interesting week and there are some things I want to write about today. Maybe some of them will speak to you.
I’ve learned a lot of things over the past few months, but nothing has really made more of a difference than being able to just sit in everything that was going on. I have never had my foundation shaken in such a way ever before.
But now that I think about it, I needed to have a few rooms and part of my structure turned to rubble…because something much more valuable came to me. The builders showed up and started pouring concrete over reinforced steel beams…and while it took a little while for that concrete to settle…something I had to be very very patient with, it hardened…became dense…and gave me an incredible foundation to build off of.
Tough to go through? Jesus don’t even get me started.
How patient can you be?
I’ve thought about this for a while now and realized that the development of my patience has come from something far different than focusing on patience itself. Patience for me came from a much deeper place.
The ability to be completely certain about myself and what I am up to in this world has removed a lot of doubt about anything else.
It’s hard to describe because I am speaking about knowing something will happen…because an energy, or a gut instinct is telling me it will…and despite anything or anyone else telling me otherwise…watching it happen time and time again because I believed in it.
I’ve never had this.
In fact, I probably was on the other side of trusting my gut for a long time. But there’s something different now. Sometimes I just close my eyes and breathe into it…and I come out just knowing that in due time…it will happen.
How can you be fully prepared for something so uncertain?
What I’ve discovered lately is that preparing for uncertainty – you know…what’s going to happen a second or 5 years from now, has absolutely nothing to do with your ability to draw out battle plans. Life works a little bit differently than war. If you can start to develop a deep and true foundation, tap into your personal wisdom and integrate…you are giving yourself access to much deeper power than projecting whatever you think you want onto the future. The future laughs at your plans…life does as well. But being able to root yourself in who you are now – go through the hard times of the past and do the good work…I can’t tell you how valuable this has been for me. I really can’t stress it enough. This is why it’s such a game changer.
I am developing this – and I am sure it will continue to be a lifetime lesson – but I am fully willing to remove myself from all my desires to project specific outcomes onto a situation in order to make room for me to be there. I have stopped making predictions about anything – ego based predictions – and have opened up the doors for anything to happen. What has been happening lately…really just that…just about everything and anything. This way of doing it has absolutely blown my mind. Giving up the future for now. Honestly, now continues to rock my world over and over again…and has romanced me in such a way that I have given little thought (some is important) to what I need the future to look like. I’m in good hands…and I’ll show up to whatever situation completely as myself and who I truly know who I am deep down. If I can come from that place – I know I will make the right decisions.
Fulfillment isn’t timeline based.
It doesn’t work like that. Fulfillment is depth based…in every direction, and how can you really quantify that? You can’t. You can’t put numbers to some of the things that you learn in life. What’s the true value of inner wisdom? Can you put a dollar sign on that? No. But could it change everything about your life? Oh yes. Could it allow you to seep out all of the pain you have endured for years and years and years…mhmm. Could it open you up to fully being loved? Yup.
You see there are some things that you weren’t ready for before…but as time goes on, you are ready for them now. I’m right there. I’m in this fully. I wasn’t ready for a lot of the things that presented to themselves to me…but that was before. I’ve changed…a lot. I’m connected…continuing the lifelong process of integrating, but what really makes me happy? I’m helping other people do the same – that is driving so much value and worth into my life.
I’m just waking up.
– Evan Sanders