Oh life is a challenge…how do you kick my butt.
Tonight, I’m struggling. I’m struggling to lift a pretty large amount of uncertainty. I’m struggling because there are things that are changing, which feel not as cozy and homey as they used to, and it’s taking a little bit out of me.
But tonight I am here writing about how difficult this spiritual transformation is as a way to be honest with what is going on with me right now.
One of the biggest challenges I am facing this year is being willing and able to lift as much uncertainty as I can and to be willing to be okay with that. Right now, I don’t feel okay with it. I feel exposed. I feel vulnerable. I think that’s the point though.
Some of this anxiety that is running through my veins is because I am in a very vulnerable place right now and I am dealing with being right out in the open. It feels very unsafe actually. In fact, I could venture to say that the uncertainty of what’s going to happen literally 10 minutes from now has shaken me slightly.
Faith comes to mind. Faith in something that you aren’t able to see but oh you can feel it…you can feel it deep within your bones.
It is something that exists despite anything that you are going through.
Have troubles? Dig into your faith?
Have no idea where something is going with someone? Dig into your faith. Eventually, all things turn out in the end. If they are bad now you just have to toss it up into the sky and the rest will take care of itself.
Spiritual transformation isn’t a task list.
In the past, I have tried too hard to force my spiritual transformation. What I didn’t realize back then was that it isn’t something that you can force.
It’s something that you have to just be with. You have to open yourself up to the possibilities of the world and only when you are open can things start flowing in. Spiritual transformation isn’t about progress either, but more about a deepening of the mind, body, and the spirit.
There’s no linear plane, but we are more moving on an x,y,z plane that has no specific intended direction. For those who are very structured and progress oriented, that can be a very difficult thing to deal with.
But that’s the point – spiritual transformation is difficult and it takes some work.
I think deep down we are all a tad bit lost. We are all looking for answers to some of life greatest questions and we struggle with how the world shows up for us.
I know that with me that is definitely the case. The Better Man Project in a way is actually my almost-daily account of my spiritual transformation and what I am learning along the way.
There have been many many great lessons that have come to me throughout time and have significantly changed the course of my life. For that, I am eternally grateful.
These struggles right now are just part of the plan. In fact, it’s all part of the plan. That’s something that I have been learning every single day.
Just because sh*t is hitting the fan doesn’t mean that the journey has ended…it’s only begun. This journey of mine has only begun and despite whatever is bubbling up for me right now, I know that I will move forward with strength and courage.
Yup, this spiritual transformation thing is one hell of a doozy.
– Evan Sanders