The Courage To Reveal Your Heart


What You Are Capable Of 

You must realize on the most profound level that life is a gift. There is nothing wrong with life and nothing wrong with the material world. If you stop taking things for granted you will be flooded with joy and gratitude all the time. When you have no claims on life, everything becomes a Divine gift capable of sweeping you into ecstasy. 

Your greatest gift is your ability to see the spiritual in the materialistic world – to perceive the Divine in the ordinary. The key thing for you to understand is that as long as you are directly pursuing happiness and satisfaction, you will never attain them. 

When you give up your willfulness, you will discover the Divine Will. Instead of trying to have power through the assertion of your ego, align yourself with the Divine Power. Instead of me and the world, see that you have a role to play in the world, which, if followed wholeheartedly, could earn you a place of immortality among the great heroes and saints of history. 

When you liberate yourself you have the power to inspire others and to be heroic as well, influencing people possibly for centuries. You need to end your war with the world and discover that the solidity, power, and independence that you have been seeking are already here. You are part of your true nature as you are part of the true nature of every human being. When you experience this deeply, you are able to relax into Being, feeling effortlessly at one with the world and with the unfolding mystery of life. 

For you to embrace your bigness of heart, you must first gather the courage to reveal it. This requires that you trust in something beyond your own wits and power – and that, of course, requires letting go of many of your fundamental defenses. 

You will achieve a degree of greatness on whatever scale you wish to operate – and you will honored and respected as a result. You will achieve a kind of immortality that lifts you to the rank of hero. You are like a force of nature whom others intuitively honor and respect. History records many healthy versions of you who were willing to take a stand for something beyond themselves – sometimes even beyond their immediate understanding – and as much of the enduring good in our world has been achieved through their determination and struggle. 

That line I highlighted in blue in the 5th paragraph has really been striking me lately. The “courage to reveal it.” Frankly, I get nervous when this happens because it never really has ended well when I reveal what is truly going on inside. Sometimes I feel like I have to cap it off or play it down because people will think it’s too much to handle.

I’m reaching an interesting point in these decisions – one where I know I have to reveal what is within this heart of mine, two where I know that I can’t explain…justify…downplay…or bring to light why I am this way…I just am, and three I know that with true vulnerability things are not going to workout sometimes. Things will fall apart at the seams as much as you don’t want them to. That’s just the life of it. In fact, that’s just life in general.

Where can we possibly find the balancing point between revealing what is within our hearts – both fire and passion – and keeping people around. What I’ve done the past few years after getting burned time an time again is actually shut myself off from these opportunities because I am afraid of losing people. Let’s be honest, losing people really does suck. It’s one of the hardest things to deal with and you almost feel like you have lost a piece of yourself when someone has gone. A little piece of you just disappeared – maybe that’s why it feels so weird when people come and go.

But I keep coming back to that statement…you must find the courage to reveal it. Because without the courage to reveal it, you simply find yourself hiding from relationships and people – a task that I was very very good at. In fact, I was so good at masking myself from the honest eyes of others that I actually played a character that was very enthusiastic, outgoing, and upbeat. Not that I am not those things, but I have to say I’m not that way all the time. There are many times when I’m a very quiet and peaceful person…who doesn’t need to pump up the energy of a situation because he thinks that’s what will make it valuable and fun for everyone. Instead, I’m beginning to learn how to meet the situation and others where they are at instead of  trying to convince them to come to my level.

I keep hearing the word “intense” come up a lot and I really don’t know what to think about it right now…so instead I looked it up.

noun: intensity; plural noun: intensities
the quality of being intense.
“gazing into her face with disconcerting intensity”
synonyms: strengthpowerpotencyforceMore

antonyms: apathyindifference


an instance or degree of this.
“an intensity that frightened her”


the measurable amount of a property, such as force, brightness, or a magnetic field.
“hydrothermal processes of low intensity”
synonyms: strengthpowerpotencyforceMore

Intensity is a pretty interesting word. But maybe it’s really not all that bad. In fact, I don’t think I can change this part of me, nor I would want to. I think where my intensity brings be back a few steps is when I am in the mode of “I am at war with the world.” Then, that intensity get’s in the way of creating deep and meaningful relationships because I cut myself off from people. But with these things that are going on inside of my heart, I do understand that there is an intensity to the feelings that I evoke and really there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t function on any other level really because it makes me feel like I am not me. Maybe this intensity is something that has been brought out in me after all those years of living under distress and wanting to hide under the covers.

The courage to reveal your heart. I keep saying it over and over again.

I also keep asking myself, “What would that look like?” What would be the type of expression which is purely authentic and full of love. Because honestly that’s what’s in there – lots of love and joy…and my challenge is to open up and reveal it and let the chips fall as they may.

– Evan Sanders

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  • Derek Distin
    March 21, 2015 at 5:27 pm

    Always a good read, Evan.

    The hardest thing for any man to do is reveal himself as he is to those who think he is not. It is not in his nature, but it is his nature.

    • thebettermanproject
      March 23, 2015 at 8:25 am

      Appreciate that Derek! I think you hit it right on the head when you said it’s one of the hardest things to do.

  • Jan
    March 21, 2015 at 6:06 pm

    Intense love is selfless action to benefit the beloved.

    • thebettermanproject
      March 23, 2015 at 8:24 am

      selfless action – wow, I actually didn’t think of it like that. Thank you for expanding my mind with that.

  • Anonymous
    March 23, 2015 at 3:39 am

    Hi Evan, been following your blog since last year (I enjoy reading the posts btw) and I’m commenting for the first time because it resonated with me. I’ve turned 31 this year and love to start my conversations with “at this age…” *laughs* yeah I can be that annoying. But at this age *eek* I have realized a few things. And learned a couple of tough lessons. In my mid-twenties I had what they call a mini-life crisis. I needed to discover my passion in life because being a high school teacher wasn’t it. I did. Writing. Not such a steady career choice and yes, I came up against a lot of opposition internal & external. But then I decided “I can’t live my life for everybody I got to live my life for me.” (Stole that from India Arie’s song I Choose.) The choice became easy. I’ll have to give account for my life not for everyone else’s. When I come to the end of this life, what would I regret more? Being true to myself? Or staying in the mold others have placed me? I took my ‘fancy’ degrees and became a romance author *grin* And I’m loving it. I don’t make new year’s resolutions, rather just roughly plan my year and stick to the outline (even if I bump against the edges). And this year I’ve gone a bit deep too *yikes* Be Loyal to Yourself. Not selfish, mind you. But loyal. Acknowledge who you are as a person. Live it out. Stick to your truth. I’ve realized people can try to ‘take’ many things from you. Your dignity, confidence, peace of mind etc. But only if you let them. Sorry for the pep-talk. Just thought I’d share…oh & if living life intensely is how you’re able to do more than exist in this world, I’d say go for it *thumbs up*

    • thebettermanproject
      March 23, 2015 at 8:26 am

      I really like the part of your comment where you said be loyal but not selfish and to acknowledge ho you are as a person. That really resonated with me. Please leave more comments they are super thoughtful and fantastic!

  • HappySexyFit !!!!
    March 28, 2015 at 6:56 am

    Its hard but its very liberating to be you ,although there is cost attached to it…….if its not real its suffocating for me .

    • thebettermanproject
      April 3, 2015 at 6:32 pm

      yes it is so hard! but you must. That is where you best stuff will come from.