Tonight I find myself in a pretty interesting place. In fact, it’s a brand new place. When I was 12 years old I remember beginning to have the seed of a dream planted into my head. I dreamed of being in incredible shape. at some point in my life because I was a bit “husky” (as they used to call it) when I was young. So I started my efforts. I tried everything. I tried programs, diets, and many other things to accomplish this dream. I made promises…and failed to follow through with them. To myself – to others. I tried to do it to “the the girl” or become popular. I tried and tried…and i would get about halfway in…and quit. I would run out of gas or just give up completely. Food became a comfort…so I would run to that every time…and after I quit, I would send myself 10 steps backwards with munching on everything in sight.
When I moved home from LA I was 218 and 18% body fat…probably the heaviest I have ever been. I’ll never forget the day I made a decision that would change my life – do this for you…no one else, not the girl, not the popularity, not the body…do this because you love it and you know deep inside that it’s going to help you become the best version of you. So I drew 100 tick marks on the chalkboard in my room and started. Day 1 – 218. By day 100, without fail I had lost 30lbs and more importantly, I followed through with something I said I was going to do. But after the high of achieving this goal was over, I actually felt like “it wasn’t it.” I felt like I had gone part of the way…not all the way.
Going in one more round when you don’t think you can – that’s what makes all the difference in your life – Rocky
So I went in one more round. I found myself an incredible trainer who believed in my vision just as much as I did…and committed to another 12 weeks. Never in my life have I been more challenged. He took everything I had ever done and melted it down to their foundation and rebuilt me. Tears have come out during these workouts. I’ve thrown up more than a handful of times and yet every day, I go in one more round…trying to push a little bit more…trying to squeeze out one more rep. And along the way of trying to achieve this dream…I found out what true courage means, what refusing to give up is, what it means to discipline yourself and to work as hard on something as you can when you are the only one that actually sees the dream in your mind…and even though it hasn’t been created yet…you know you are getting closer.
So I sit here tonight in a new place because I can see just how close I am getting. The date…January 31st, the date of my first fitness shoot ever is coming…and here I am 20 days out hungry…knowing that the hardest part is arriving at the beginning of next week. But I’m hungry – and that’s the newest feeling to me. I’m hungry for the work, for the pain, for the hours and hours spent with weights and cardio equipment because with every rep and step I am getting closer. I can see it, I can taste it, I can feel it, It’s right there for the taking.
I don’t know what January 31st will bring…because I’ve never been there before. I’ve never been 6% body fat like I am right now…but I know the goal is 4…and I know I’m going to work my butt off these next 3 weeks to bring in the best version of myself as possible for this shoot.
Here’s the kicker to all of this. I know many people out there made resolutions this year, and if you are hitting walls right now…you know those walls that are designed to show you just how bad you want something…keep going. Find a way. Find a way through it, over it, past it, under it, around it…becoming a living preposition. Because one day, you will cry tears of joy that you did it. You actually did it. And no one will be able to take that away from you. No one will be able to take away the endless hours of work you put into it…because you built yourself, you created yourself, and you will carry that with you for the rest of your life continuing to build yourself every single day. That’s the magic of just how powerful we are.