“Never never never give up.” Winston Churchill.
This is my 100 day transformation story. My sophomore year of college, I lost my one true love since I was 5 years old: baseball. Because of physical complications with my arm, I couldn’t throw anymore, and I had to make the hardest choice of my life in hanging up the cleats. I walked out of my coach’s office with tears in my eyes after telling him I had to stop playing, and felt like my dream had been stripped from me. For years after that, I was still in pieces from losing baseball. My confidence had disintegrated, I didn’t believe in myself anymore, but most of all, I developed a deep-seeded fear that if I dreamed big…somewhere down the line I would have my goal stripped from me again. So I stopped dreaming. I stopped because I never wanted to feel that pain again…that type of pain when I lost baseball. I found out though that living a life scared and timid isn’t living a life at all.
Somewhere along the line I started “trying” again, but despite my best efforts, I would sabotage my goal right before I would achieve it because at least I would then be able to say I was the cause of it not happening instead of life taking it from me. It doesn’t make sense, but I was more scared of what I was capable of instead of failing. So I did this for 5 years and walked around feeling like I had nothing to be proud of because I was my worst own enemy. My worst nightmare was right around the corner and I knew it.
As stress piled on, I started eating worse and worse and found myself hooked into a cycle of using food to sabotage my dreams as well. I knew that it all had to end, so 100 days ago, on the brink of giving up altogether, I gave myself an ultimatum to try one more time, to go all in, and to eat clean and take care of myself for once. It was never about my body, but about proving to myself that I could achieve a dream, one that always whispered in my ear that I could do it no matter how many times I failed.
Who knows what it actually was, but things started to click. Despite this being the most physically and mentally challenging thing I have ever done, it has also been the most rewarding. 30 lbs. have shed off my body, but most importantly, I started something, found out I loved it more than I possibly could have known, and then finished it.
My life has changed completely because of this journey. I believe in myself now. I’ve started to dream again. I now know that if I create something in my mind, with enough hard work and sweat, I can make it happen. Life has a funny way of teaching us the greatest lessons, and even though there was plenty of suffering involved throughout the past 5 years, the end result is so beyond my wildest dreams that I would do it all over again.
There have been a lot of people who have been there for me along the way, and I just wanted to stay thank you for being there for me, it means more than you could imagine.
So off to the next dream.
Love. Passion. Never Quit.