O’ To Love, But How To Love Yourself

how to love

 O’ to love, how rare that truly is.

The things we love in this world last only so long. Yes, it may only be 5 minutes, 5 years, or an entire lifetime, but in the end we part. How lucky we are to have something so fantastic at one point in time that makes the ending of the journey so hard. But for those who love unconditionally…for those who love with their whole heart and understand that we are all sentenced, we stay present with the person we love.

We make that moment last as long as we can because who truly knows when those moments will be no more.

Our love is the thing that miracles are made of. Our love is the thing that can truly and authentically change the world. We see people all the time fall in love with something they are doing, and the world changes around them. We see people who fall in love with someone, and their energy, the two of them together as a unit creates something that other people can see and feel.

Love transcends.


Love is a type of energy that cannot be explained.

Words are no match for it. Even when the finest of words are used in the most elegant way, only a scratch is made on truly describing what love is. This is why our hearts literally break when love crashes and burns. Recovery seems a distant cousin. We enter into a true state of loss because the person we were with were truly our other set of eyes, hands and legs.

Our friends, our work, our relationships, all can be deeply loved. Not childish “love” but I’m talking about the type of truly deep and vulnerable love, where you have no fear in your mind about telling that person the worst about yourself, the secrets you have kept, because you know that love transcends all. You give someone the tools to absolutely destroy you down to your core, and you trust them with everything inside of you not to.

Love however, can be a fleeting thing.

And that is how it is supposed to be. As humans, we try to hold onto the good things as long as we can, but sometimes the good just runs out and the balance of life takes a dip from what we had. We are meant to be brought down, so we can in fact rise again. I’ve always thought that the person I truly fell in love with, my soulmate, wouldn’t just be the one who would be on the rise with me, but the one who would support me and even help me walk through those dips in life.

how to love

The love that I have felt in the past has been wonderful, life changing, incredible, and yet at all the same time fleeting. Things happen, things change, and as the years have gone by, I have found more and more ways to appreciate what I had versus what I lost. I think that has been a major turning point for me.

My soul opens like a blooming flower every time I give myself the opportunity to experience life. The good and the bad. The strength of an ancient redwood is built into my core and flowers of experience, passion, and wisdom bloom throughout my soul.

We are meant to experience the things we do on the paths we choose.

Hold onto what you can while you have it and deeply love those around you. Cold and hard hearts are for the weak. That is fear talking. That is fear trying to protect the one thing you know that could truly make you vulnerable. Overt and outspoken strength is not strength at all. It’s weakness trying to convince an audience that it is something else.

Vulnerability and a gentle heart is true strength. The path allows you to confront even your greatest fears with passion and vigor.

Love deeply.

Love passionately.

Love vulnerably.

Love with no fear.

– Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

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  • openyoureyes145
    August 26, 2014 at 5:15 pm

    what a good reminder that our past experiences, however painful or negative, were meant to be so. they were part of our path, our journey, and will teach us how to love with an open heart and welcoming mind.

    • thebettermanproject
      August 27, 2014 at 9:31 am

      God I can’t tell you how scared I was of my past until…and this is a big until…I started actually facing it. Then, it’s not so scary at all.

      Make sure to join the awesome Facebook community http://btrman.me/1tcqzCC if you haven’t yet!

  • Trudy Grossman
    August 26, 2014 at 6:37 pm

    You write with maturity and insight beyond your years. Thank you for another great post, Evan.

    • thebettermanproject
      August 27, 2014 at 9:30 am

      Just writing from the soul 🙂 I appreciate that greatly though. It’s always good to hear great feedback.

      Make sure to join the awesome Facebook community http://btrman.me/1tcqzCC if you haven’t yet!