Not Everyone Likes Peaches

Someone once said it…something like…

If your value is determined by people compliments, then you will also be destroyed by their criticisms.

I didn’t really understand this quote until today. But now, I really get it. Before I get into this, I want to share an amazing quote with you by Don Miguel Ruiz.

“Ignore the rude people who talk about you behind your back. Being strong doesn’t mean you always have to fight the battle. True strength is being wise enough to walk away from the nonsense with your head held high.”

I guess this is the first time in a long time that I have heard about someone saying bad things about me behind my back. For a second, it rocked me. For the minutes to hours after, it fueled me. I put those comments in a special place inside of me that I can go to every day when I need them. The truth is, motivation is many things for people. Ideally you would want to set a very positive goal for yourself and work towards achieving that goal. However, the fuel we must use may not always be clean.

Sometimes, it’s going to burn black.

I always talk about the balance of life…light and dark…especially within the soul, and I believe that we can find things within ourselves that will fuel our actions even if the fuel itself isn’t pure. I am talking about the times someone said something hurtful, hateful, rude or just brutal in all. For some, those things can absolutely ruin their ambitions. To be honest, that happened many times with me. I didn’t have the belief in myself yet to “do it” no matter what anyone said.

These things that people say, in the end, aren’t even really about you. I know cause I have been on the other side. I remember a time when I couldn’t say nice things because I hated myself. I hated that they were doing it and I couldn’t. I hated everything about that person because they could make the sacrifices…they had the willpower…they were actually…doing what I had always dreamed of.

You can spend your life blaming other people and trying to bring other people down because you have a crappy life or you can focus on loving yourself and others, something you actually really need in order to be a positive person, and encourage other people and their dreams. In the end, spewing hate only tears you apart. Karma comes back around in one way or another and takes care of business. Been there as well.

You are either for people or against them.

Be for people. Be for their dreams…that makes you a warm person inside. That cold heart you are harboring is only going to freeze harder and eventually split into hundreds of pieces. Hate, jealousy, and anger will cut you in half and you will spend years battling between the loving side and the hateful side. Once again, been there.

No matter what you do, people are going to not like you for some reason. They will be rubbed the wrong way, they won’t like your hair, your eyes, your nose, your scent, your image…they will find a way. Don’t sweat it. You’re on the right track.

Because no one has ever talked shit about someone who didn’t mean something to them in one way or another.

Remember that. Not everyone is going to like peaches.

So you must really matter to them. So much, in fact, that they are taking time out of their day to talk about you. What an honor.

This train isn’t stopping. In fact, if I let it stop because of a few stupid gossipy comment about me, I don’t deserve what I am going after.

What I am going after is bigger than this…and in the end, bigger than me. It’s about supporting other people’s dreams. To really understand what it’s like to make a dream happen, I am going to have to accomplish one of my greatest ones.

So cheers…haters…I tip my cap to you. I must be headed in the right direction.

– Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

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  • 61chrissterry
    July 25, 2014 at 1:58 am

    Love and hate, compliments and criticisms are they not subjective, so why do we wish for one and not the other. They are another person or persons opinions, surely the person that matters is oneself, if you are happy and content, why should you allow derogatrory comments to change how you feel.

    However, if you are not so happy with yourself, compliments can lift you, while criticisms can bring you further down. But, we all have our own thoughts, beliefs and choice, so is it not ourselves who decide what will affect us one way or another and not the other persons.

    That been said, those that do criticise should becareful, for what they do unto others, can be done back to them.

    • thebettermanproject
      October 6, 2014 at 3:58 pm

      So true! Why do we really even care? I think it’s just about our need for gratification from other peoples opinions. So often people who hate are scared of exactly what they are doing.

      P.S. Please do me a huge favor and subscribe! http://btrman.me/1uSFjaq Thank you!

  • So Many Right Ways
    July 25, 2014 at 2:33 am

    Great post, well written and ringing so many bells. One of the biggest battles is doing things even though the people around you may not approve or understand. It’s crippling. It’s that endless search for approval (for finding ones’ true home?) and I guess the path is radical self acceptance. It’s not about being disrespectful to others or disregarding their feelings, it’s about not caring in a healthy way. In fact it could even be seen as the biggest gift you can give to those around you, as your own well being will radiate out to your nearest and dearest. I say all this but I find this enormously hard to put in to practice (esp wit children, partner etc). Anyway – thanks and have a great weekend 🙂

    • thebettermanproject
      October 6, 2014 at 3:57 pm

      You have to fight for what you believe in and just be happy with the path and decisions that you have decided upon! Your comment is very very true.

      P.S. Please do me a huge favor and subscribe! http://btrman.me/1uSFjaq Thank you!

  • Shoes
    July 25, 2014 at 4:30 am

    Thank you. A wonderful post to read this morning. I appreciate all that you do!!

  • Bill
    July 25, 2014 at 5:28 am

    So very true!

  • Phil Walton
    July 25, 2014 at 5:46 am

    Hey Fransi, brilliant and true. Thanks for sharing!!!

  • Victoria Kaloss
    July 25, 2014 at 6:19 am

    Oh my but your post arrived in perfect timing. Those are wise words, thanks!

  • Ricky Pearl
    July 25, 2014 at 7:35 am

    Very well Said My Friend. The world is full of such type of people who often talk shit behind the back of people. But who care??? Hater gonna be hater; we must not indulge ourselves; let them talk shit and like you said, “you are on right track”. Brother, your post is really inspiring. And I mean it. Thank you very much for so valuable post.

  • susielindau
    July 25, 2014 at 9:36 am

    I’m in my 50’s and finally realizing that my high positive energy repels as many people as it attracts. I am what I am and that’s good enough! I realize now that I wasted so much time worrying and wondering why EVERYONE didn’t want to hang out with me. I am soooo over it!!!

    • thebettermanproject
      October 6, 2014 at 3:55 pm

      Positive energy is huge! It will infect everything in your life in such a great way.

      P.S. Please do me a huge favor and subscribe! http://btrman.me/1uSFjaq Thank you!

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