There’s this really interesting balancing act between walking away from people who don’t treat you well, respect you enough to respond to you, or simply don’t act like you mean much to them. In one hand you want to be close with as many people as you can and you reach out trying to make new friends. In the other hand you have this respect for yourself and pride in how you act. The middle ground is hard to find at times. It is something that I struggle with over and over again. At what point do you hold your head up high and walk on?
I hold myself to a high standard. A lot of the time I find myself not wanting to do something but doing it anyways because I know the other person deserves that. I know that is what I would want if the situation was switched around. But I feel a lot of the time people don’t do that for me. I don’t know if this is just my generation, but it has become increasingly popular for people to just not respond to you, not take seconds out of their day to recognize effort, and just hide. I don’t know what it is. I don’t understand what makes people do this. Is it a lack of respect? Do you just not like me? Do you just not care?
As I go through life, things have become more intense. I give my heart out to people in a way that I have never been capable of before – and I love that about myself. But at the same time I have experienced more and more attitudes that are just the biggest turnoffs in the world. I try to find that balance between giving people chances, more often that not many, and deciding to walk away. It’s hard to let people go especially when there is no big blowup of any sort. It’s hard to turn off trying to bring other people joy. Because that’s what it really comes down to for me. I try to bring others as much joy as I can throughout the day. I try to make people smile. I try to give them a little leg up, some confidence, some spark to their day that might just make it all that much better. I don’t expect them to do the same for me…but I do look for respect, and if it’s not there, I don’t try to convince them…I just end up leaving.
Yesterday was the tornado warning, today is like the morning after
Your world is torn in half.
You wake and let’s wait to start the morning process
Rebuilding and you’re still a work in progress.
Today is a whole new chapter, it’s like an enormous ass.
The thunderstorm has passed ya.
Your weather didn’t poke his eyes out with the thorn bush that you used to smell the roses.
Stopped to inhale, can’t even tell your nose is stuffed.
So focused on the bright side.
Then you floor the gas pedal and hit the corner fast,
The more asserted, never looking back, may hit the curb,
But everyday is a new learning curve as you steer through life.
Sometimes you might not wanna swerve but you have to to avert a disaster.
Lucky, no permanent damage,
‘Cause they hurt you so bad.
It’s like they murdered your ass and threw dirt on your casket,
But you returned from the ashes.
And that hurt that you have, you just converted to gasoline,
And while you’re burning the past, standing at inferno and chant
So familiarize what having to swallow this pill is like
It happens all the time, they take your heart and steal your life
And it’s as though you feel you’ve died because you’ve been killed inside
But yet you’re still alive which means you will survive
Although today you may weep because you’re weak and
Everything seems so bleek and hopeless
The light that you’re seeking, it begins to seep in
That’s the only thing keeping you from leaping off the motherfreaking deep end
And I’m pulling for you to push through this feeling
And with a little time that should do the healing
And by tomorrow you may even feel so good that you’re willing
To forgive them even after all that shit you been put through.
This feeling of resilience is building.
And the flames are burning quick as fire would through this building you’re sealed in
But you’re fireproof, and flame retardant you withstood it.
And as you climb up to the roof you’re just chillin’ and you look down
‘Cause you’re so over them you could put the heel of your foot through the ceiling.
As time passes, things change everyday
But wounds, wounds heal
But scars still remain the same
But tomorrow today’s gone down in flames
Throw the match, set the past up ablaze
Finding the balance has been incredibly hard on my heart lately. But in all honesty, I know what I have to do. I have to walk away. I have to respect myself enough, the type of person I am, and not settle for something less than I know what I deserve. You have to know what you are worth. If you don’t believe you are worth it, you will settle for anything. Remember, people only treat you by what you accept from them.
– Evan Sanders