Have The Courage To Walk Away

There’s this really interesting balancing act between walking away from people who don’t treat you well, respect you enough to respond to you, or simply don’t act like you mean much to them. In one hand you want to be close with as many people as you can and you reach out trying to make new friends. In the other hand you have this respect for yourself and pride in how you act. The middle ground is hard to find at times. It is something that I struggle with over and over again. At what point do you hold your head up high and walk on?

I hold myself to a high standard. A lot of the time I find myself not wanting to do something but doing it anyways because I know the other person deserves that. I know that is what I would want if the situation was switched around. But I feel a lot of the time people don’t do that for me. I don’t know if this is just my generation, but it has become increasingly popular for people to just not respond to you, not take seconds out of their day to recognize effort, and just hide. I don’t know what it is. I don’t understand what makes people do this. Is it a lack of respect? Do you just not like me? Do you just not care?

As I go through life, things have become more intense. I give my heart out to people in a way that I have never been capable of before – and I love that about myself. But at the same time I have experienced more and more attitudes that are just the biggest turnoffs in the world. I try to find that balance between giving people chances, more often that not many, and deciding to walk away. It’s hard to let people go especially when there is no big blowup of any sort. It’s hard to turn off trying to bring other people joy. Because that’s what it really comes down to for me. I try to bring others as much joy as I can throughout the day. I try to make people smile. I try to give them a little leg up, some confidence, some spark to their day that might just make it all that much better. I don’t expect them to do the same for me…but I do look for respect, and if it’s not there, I don’t try to convince them…I just end up leaving.

dont-be-afraid-

Yesterday was the tornado warning, today is like the morning after
Your world is torn in half.
You wake and let’s wait to start the morning process
Rebuilding and you’re still a work in progress.
Today is a whole new chapter, it’s like an enormous ass.
The thunderstorm has passed ya.
Your weather didn’t poke his eyes out with the thorn bush that you used to smell the roses.
Stopped to inhale, can’t even tell your nose is stuffed.
So focused on the bright side.
Then you floor the gas pedal and hit the corner fast,
The more asserted, never looking back, may hit the curb,
But everyday is a new learning curve as you steer through life.
Sometimes you might not wanna swerve but you have to to avert a disaster.
Lucky, no permanent damage,
‘Cause they hurt you so bad.
It’s like they murdered your ass and threw dirt on your casket,
But you returned from the ashes.
And that hurt that you have, you just converted to gasoline,
And while you’re burning the past, standing at inferno and chant

So familiarize what having to swallow this pill is like
It happens all the time, they take your heart and steal your life
And it’s as though you feel you’ve died because you’ve been killed inside
But yet you’re still alive which means you will survive
Although today you may weep because you’re weak and
Everything seems so bleek and hopeless
The light that you’re seeking, it begins to seep in
That’s the only thing keeping you from leaping off the motherfreaking deep end
And I’m pulling for you to push through this feeling
And with a little time that should do the healing
And by tomorrow you may even feel so good that you’re willing
To forgive them even after all that shit you been put through.
This feeling of resilience is building.
And the flames are burning quick as fire would through this building you’re sealed in
But you’re fireproof, and flame retardant you withstood it.
And as you climb up to the roof you’re just chillin’ and you look down
‘Cause you’re so over them you could put the heel of your foot through the ceiling.

As time passes, things change everyday
But wounds, wounds heal
But scars still remain the same
But tomorrow today’s gone down in flames
Throw the match, set the past up ablaze

– Eminem

walk-away

Β 

Finding the balance has been incredibly hard on my heart lately. But in all honesty, I know what I have to do. I have to walk away. I have to respect myself enough, the type of person I am, and not settle for something less than I know what I deserve. You have to know what you are worth. If you don’t believe you are worth it, you will settle for anything. Remember, people only treat you by what you accept from them.

– Evan Sanders

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  • hopefulheartsministry
    May 23, 2014 at 2:01 am

    I relate completely. What I’ve come to understand is hurt people hurt people. You are among the few who are willing to do the work to heal and grow. It’s why you are able to try to give your heart out to others because you’ve freed your heart from past pain. Most are still in a cage of denial.
    The opposite is true, healed people heal people. Keep being you. The work you’ve done for yourself is a source of hope to many.
    Blessings
    Shannon

  • The Brighter Side of 40
    May 23, 2014 at 4:18 am

    Yes, sometimes you just have to walk away, sometimes it is the only thing you can do. Keep moving forward. I read these words, and know in them, things I must do, it is hard to just walk away, to give up, and move on and forward, but it has to be done. Thank you.

  • angie418
    May 23, 2014 at 5:08 am

    I wish I could reblog this. You couldn’t have written this at a more perfect time. Thank you.

  • Victoria Kaloss
    May 23, 2014 at 6:16 am

    Yes, Evan-staying true to yourself (ourselves) is essential. As we expand our minds and hearts and discover ourselves both new and old, moving forward in our truth frees us.
    I also want to add I gain great insight from your Eminem and Amy Bloom references-perfect choices.

  • weareonebyruth
    May 23, 2014 at 6:24 am

    Another possibility you might want to consider. People experiencing depression find being around happy, upbeat, happy to be alive people. I learned that when I shut out my friends, it is not about them being great people, it is about me feeling I don’t deserve great friends. Sometimes patience pays off however today, I needed to be reminded that sometimes I am just not that important in some people’s lives. Keeping doing what you are doing and people that enjoy excited to be alive people will gravitate to you. I’m new to your blog and enjoy the lift I get here.

  • Anonymous
    May 23, 2014 at 7:40 am

    Well said.

  • 415vince
    May 23, 2014 at 8:56 am

    This is beautifully written and echoes some of the same things I’ve been feeling lately (as in the past week). I think you’re right, for the most part, about the fact that it might be a generational issue. We’re so infatuated with managing our online personas that we forget to take in and respect the people around us and we get defensive about it. Then we moan when the same people who have put up with so much decide to walk away. I think walking away is about finding inner strength and finding the thing that is very much needed in any type of relationship: an agreed upon reciprocity.

  • openyoureyes145
    May 24, 2014 at 10:27 am

    Evan,
    You are such an inspiration. I just love that you find hope in everything, whether negative, positive or unfamiliar. Keep up the awesome writing!
    ~Emma

  • rumadak
    May 25, 2014 at 7:10 pm

    As always, your posts bring sheer joy and inspiration to your readers!

    World is full of such people who wouldn’t bother to thank you for something you do for them, leave aside appreciating something nice about you!

    Personally, I always make sure I am thankful to each and every person in my life, for literally every small thing they do for me! Saying thank-you makes my heart happy and I accept the same from all, but alas! world is far from being ideal!

    Seeing perfection in imperfection is not something everyone is talented at! So, its better to walk away.

  • itsawonderfilledlife
    May 26, 2014 at 9:44 am

    Thanks. I needed these words today.
    Blessings to you this day,
    Carole

  • Linda Salvatore
    May 26, 2014 at 5:30 pm

    Hi Evan,
    This is a GREAT blog post! I have already distanced myself by the negative people and life suckers and I am so much better off because of it. Staying true to yourself is the best thing we can do. Keep writing, you have a gift and are inspiring so many including myself.
    Thanks friend,
    Linda Salvatore
    (MJ’s Mom)

  • brianwilliamsen
    June 2, 2014 at 8:10 am

    #truth