The Open Palm

There’s something to be said for the man who comes into the game, one hand tied behind his back, and is still dangerous. He’s still fighting for his life. The type of man who hasn’t really had anything guaranteed to him and has had to scratch and claw to get everything he wants.

He’s the type of man who has been let down time and time again. Who has dreamed, attempted, tried and failed over and over again.

But the dreams live on in living color.

Crying is pretty familiar. Self sabotage a close cousin. Pain is a brother and doubt is a sister.

But faith is the father.

And that’s why I continue on. That’s what really makes everything continue to pull itself together and tick. These lessons, in the way they are being taught, are happening for a reason. I fully believe in that. Without the journey the lesson just becomes…well…shallow.

The study of philosophy was built around the importance of developing the step by step thoughts in order to get to the final conclusion. I think there are a lot of similarities in that type of process as I reexamine many different things in my life and all sorts of new ideas and thoughts come up day after day.

There have been strange things happening to me over the past month. Well, maybe they aren’t “strange” but it certainly is peculiar on how fast these traits have been developing and how I have been able to take a step back from things and really see situations for what they are. That…has been a gift I have never had. I’ve always been neck deep in things without the ability to see it all from the outside.

I remember describing a time of my life as in the “eye of the storm.”

I much more prefer an aerial view of things now. It gives you the opportunity to decide a better future for yourself.

I came to the realization the other day that the profound message I was given years ago was actually incomplete. The Sage said, “We have to hold the people we love with an open palm so that they are free to fly away from us, and if it is right, they will come back to us.”

This is one of the most meaningful lessons I have ever been taught.

But it’s still missing a thought. And maybe I haven’t added it perfectly to the quote yet. But here it is.

We are blessed with two hands. And yes, with one we must hold the people we love with an open palm. This palm serves as a perch for people to come in and out of our lives at will. But we only need to have one open palm. The other hand is reserved for those who are closest to us. Those people in our lives who love, respect, and protects us. The ones who stand by their word and day in and day out give you their best as well.

Create with the other hand. Give as much as you can. Build relationships that last.

Some will fly to the perch…and then take off.

But always be focusing on what you are building with the other.

Keep that other hand open just in case people want to come back.

In time, many will.

Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

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  • Anonymous
    April 21, 2014 at 12:34 am

    That is an incredible completion to that thought. And it is a concept that I have always struggled with understanding. Letting go and being open is half of it like you say, but the other hand that creates and acts is important to. Those people who land on your palm and perch and fly away, would not be able to return, without the initiative and the creation to come back we would all just be standing there with open palm.

    Better and better man, and as always thanks for the inspiration.

  • The Brighter Side of 40
    April 21, 2014 at 6:46 am

    great post evan, great post.

  • Kate @ Did That Just Happen?
    April 21, 2014 at 7:19 am

    I agree that without the journey the lesson become shallow. And, the journey isn’t always easy, but it’s not meant to be. Here is to one palm and one closed one – may you always have those faithful to you held close!

  • Bill
    April 21, 2014 at 7:25 am

    It’s a little like being taught or mentored by a friend and being allowed to freely express our feelings and understandings as we have them without any repercussion. Openness to anyone without judgment, just a friendship and willingness to be there is something we all need to grasp. When two minds come together new understands emerge. Thanks for your thoughts Evan.

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  • hastywords
    April 23, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    Beautifully written and heavily felt.

  • DickensSono
    April 24, 2014 at 9:20 pm

    Your writing remind me of a train analogy that I was told a few weeks ago. It speaks about us (you) being on a train and at every station people come on and others go off. That is the journey of life. Those who are closest to you are those who travel the whole journey with you.