In the first battle of Bull Run, several Confederate units fell into panic as the battle was raging on. Thomas Jackson, a brilliant general who was known to inspire courage in his troops pointed to Jackson and said, “There stands Jackson like a stone wall!” This call to action rallied the troops and urged the men to gather their courage to regroup to fight on.

Yesterday I was on the verge of  tears all day. It hasn’t been easily lately. I’ve been under a lot of pressure and everything seems to be piling up all at once. It’s tough. Real tough. I had this urge to just run earlier…and then somehow Stonewall Jackson popped into my head. “There stands Jackson like a stone wall!” I just kept repeating that in my head. Things could be a lot worse. Bullets could be zipping around you…you could be unprotected on a horse…and yet – somehow that man found the courage to stand up to great adversity.

I pull courage from stories like these. There have been great people in the past who have performed massive acts of courage. It’s not that they weren’t afraid – of course they were fearful. But it’s that they had something inside them that allowed them to get over that fear. They had that little extra thing…some call it belief…purpose…resolve. You can call it whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is…it’s there.

I’ll tell you right now, I’m lost. I feel more lost than I have ever felt before. I don’t know which path to take or even which direction to go in general. I’m 100% clueless.

Lost in the mud, but trying to stand strong.

– Evan Sanders