Reinvent Yourself

Posted on August 24, 2013

“Expectations are the root of all heartache.” – William Shakespeare

This quote has been sitting on my desk for the past few months. I have stared at it over and over again trying to truly figure out what Shakespeare was intending when he said it. I will obviously never get that answer directly from his mouth, however, I have come to my own conclusion about what it means.

Expectations get in the way of gratitude. Gratitude for “what is.”

To be in the moment and appreciate of that moment is one of the most important things there is. We can get very caught up in living in the past or in the future, two places where we can actually never go.

However, if we truly give thanks for what is going on in our lives right now, then the world is at our fingertips. We appreciate the gifts we have been given, the people around us, and are truly able to put our hearts into our passions.

But let me get real with you for a minute. If you expect anything out of people, situations, and events…you are going to end up with your heart-broken. Nothing will ever be good enough for you.

You will constantly be disappointed that things didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to. I’ve been there. Lose your expectations. Get rid of them. Start enjoying life. Enjoy life for its unpredictable beauty. Stop thinking you have some sort of control over it all. You don’t. It is pretty much out of your hands.

What can you do? Give it your all. Everything you have inside of you and put it toward something positive. You will truly never know the results of your actions until they arrive.

Sometimes you end up in a place completely different from you ever thought you were going  to be. But that’s the point. Life is deliciously ambiguous.

– Evan Sanders, The Better Man Project

Evan Sanders is a professional life coach, writer, and diehard encourager. He works with people all around the world through his life coaching practice AYKME and has dedicated his life to continuing a journey of personal development and adventure.

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  • themaskgirl
    August 24, 2013 at 9:49 pm

    well said!! 🙂 [Y]

  • Soma Mukherjee
    August 24, 2013 at 10:55 pm

    oh it is one tough job to lose expectations. …so many things to unlearn before I can really truly start living again…Beautiful share

    • thebettermanprojects
      August 27, 2013 at 10:32 pm

      Haha! Start living though right now and learn on your way!

  • LayonieJae
    August 25, 2013 at 12:22 am

    Great post! I always have high expectations in order to aim high and not accept lower than what I deserve type thing but then I suppose it is about that balance, in aiming high but still appreciating what you have now.. Wish it was so much easy done than said lol

    Layonie
    http://layoniejae.wordpress.com/

    • thebettermanprojects
      August 27, 2013 at 10:32 pm

      Balance is key! Life is pretty hard at times I agree. But you got this!

  • Jules
    August 25, 2013 at 1:17 am

    Thank you, I needed this reminder.

  • stenoves
    August 25, 2013 at 2:01 am

    It cant be said to often:To be in the moment and appreciate of that moment is one of the most important things there is. Thanx for a nice post and reminder.

  • hoboduke
    August 25, 2013 at 6:26 am

    My oldest son chose to follow his internal compass. He headed West to hike Glacier Park in Montana, attend The Gathering, hitch hike to Seattle to run through mountain trails, and is now running in Portland. I can’t tell him what he should do, because you have to honor your vision. As a child of the ’60’s I am seeing the principles and priorities of my youth born again, but I admit it seems confusing to an old man!

    • thebettermanprojects
      August 27, 2013 at 10:29 pm

      Powerful words. “You have to honor your vision.” I am going to really think about that seriously. Thank you for the great comment

  • chroniclesofcarolyn
    August 25, 2013 at 8:14 am

    Reblogged this on The Chronicles of Carolyn and commented:
    Some food for thought and a needed reminder to slow down and enjoy life for what it truly is: a journey.

    • thebettermanprojects
      August 27, 2013 at 10:27 pm

      Thank you for the reblog! Appreciate it a ton! Life is definitely a journey.

      • chroniclesofcarolyn
        February 27, 2014 at 9:55 am

        I never got notified of this and wish I had! I enjoy reading you blog and it is definitely a journey.

  • openlife72
    August 25, 2013 at 9:12 am

    Thank you for this post! Perfect timing and perfectly true.

  • rhondasgoodlyfe
    August 25, 2013 at 11:33 am

    This is a great post! It’s still really hard for me to lose the expectation that people will do what they say they will do. I guess getting rid of my expectations is a lifelong venture that I will continue to work on.

    • thebettermanprojects
      August 27, 2013 at 10:24 pm

      I think we can only control ourselves and our morals/values. We cant control anything beyond that point.

  • carowhack
    August 25, 2013 at 12:35 pm

    Very well said. I am in a constant struggle to rid myself of expectations but still continue to have goals. I think those two things are often presented as synonymous when they aren’t actually. No expectations means anything could happen and you could remain at peace. No goals might mean a person is wandering aimlessly. Goals allow you to keep working hard while persevering but staying flexible at the same time. Expectations can limit a person or make them bitter when things don’t turn out exactly as you thought they would. Thanks for your thoughts and insights!

    • thebettermanprojects
      August 27, 2013 at 10:16 pm

      I heard someone talking about goals and expectations the other day and they made a really interesting point. We must have goals to elevate ourselves…but we cannot “expect” the world to give us anything. We have to work for it!

      • carowhack
        August 28, 2013 at 4:57 am

        well said!

  • prospermind
    August 25, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    Thank you for this valuable post!! 🙂

    Thankfully, loosing expectations and not having any is a thing I’ve learned during my year as an exchange student abroad. It’s very true, that if you don’t have any expectations at all, things will turn out so much better as if you would go places or meet people with your expectations already set (too) high right from the start. This way you’ll always get disappointed – always!

    • thebettermanprojects
      August 27, 2013 at 10:10 pm

      I love it when I see the word “value” in someones comment! I am glad that I could bring that to you. Expectations ruin everything. I know it is so hard not to have them but we have to focus on letting them go. Anyways, fantastic comment. Thank you 🙂

  • Rita Poynor
    August 25, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    Life is but a vapor. Enjoy today!

  • christymboyce
    August 27, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    Compare, compare, compare. If we could only learn not to compare. Our expectations for ourselves could be based on… what we truly desired? what we had passion for? what we felt like doing that very day? We’ll never know unless we can bring true desire for the success of others into our hearts.

    • thebettermanprojects
      August 27, 2013 at 10:05 pm

      You are so right. Comparisons are incredibly dangerous. We have to learn to be proud of other people without comparing our lives to them.

  • AnnoyingBobby
    September 9, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    Reblogged this on AnnoyingBobby.

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  • minerva
    September 13, 2013 at 11:44 pm

    Love, love this!♥
    Been working on this goal of late, so this is another beautiful post of yours that rings out true to me.

    Thank you for this and do stay awesome, too. 🙂