There are some really challenging aspects to life that I find myself struggling with and thinking about quite often. Looking deep within, no matter how many times you do it, it’s always a scary heart-wreching proposition. I often wonder if it is a challenge sent from above to truly see what I am actually made of. My answer to this is usually yes. How could it not be? Seems to always know exactly what I need right at the perfect time so I can grow. Faith has been building.
And yet I often find myself asking the same question over and over again – if I pour all of this love out into the world, when is it going to come back? Or is it and I just can’t see it? Maybe it isn’t in what people say to me, but in how they look at me when I see their eyes. It’s just hard for me to really know what is going on…and as much as I try to be okay with it there are many times when I am not. Honesty prevails here.
All I know is that years ago I decided to take the moral high ground and by god it has been difficult. But I can never go back – and even if I try the consequences would be so drastic that I would set myself back a significant amount. This journey has been decided and it will never change. I find myself asking why a lot. Maybe this is part of the story where I begin to truly find myself…or maybe it isn’t. Needless to say the questions still come up every day.
I guess for me that first quote sums it all up. Where you invest your love you invest your life. And at the end of the day, for me at least, its about continuing to invest my love into myself, other people, and my passion. I don’t think I could ask for more.
– Evan Sanders