The Better Man Project

Day (458) – Empathy

Before I get going tonight, I wanted to let you know that I will be posting the video blogs on a separate page – but just to introduce you to the concept number one is above – hope you enjoy this journey.

Tonight is pretty simple for me. It’s interesting that sometimes you can go a whole day and not really have anything profound happen to you, and then all of a sudden right before you are about to turn in, bam…it happens. I feel that a lot of people have sympathy for others and that can semi-relate to other people’s situations etc, but I feel that the true winning formula in creating long-lasting relationships with people is in developing empathy for them. I have always come back to the same example over and over again which I will write out below.

I have had the great fortune of having some pretty significantly bad things happen to me throughout my life so far. I say great fortune because I have been able to learn from them and turn them into strong pieces of my foundation. However, there have been many times where people have come up to me and said, “I know this doesn’t really compare to what you have gone through, but…” and I usually stop them right there at the but. I tell them that it doesn’t matter what I have been through…and just to tell me what is on their mind. “Maybe the worst thing that has ever happened to you is your dog dying…but it isn’t the situation that matters in our relation to one another…it’s the emotion behind everything.” Immediately that usually opens up doors.

%inspirational quotes

I think that a lot of the time people lack empathy…the true feeling and recognition of another people’s emotions. To truly be able to relate to another person on an emotional level while mostly disregarding the heavy specifics is something that I focus on dearly. Because no matter what happens or how many times it happens, we will not be able to have the same event happen to two different people exactly the same way. Not impossible, but incredibly improbable. Therefore I think it is so important to look deeper than what is on the surface and really try to resonate with someones heart.

Open your arms to people if they come to you in times or light or darkness. It isn’t your job to decide when you could be someones angel. But it is your responsibility as someone who has a warm soul to let others experience what you have to bring to the table. Keeping your talents from others is essentially hiding your true self from the world. Sure it takes work. In fact…it takes a lot of work much of the time. But the satisfaction from filling another persons bucket far exceeds the slight exhausted feeling that you may have if things go south. However, I have found that if you are truly being empathetic towards someone, you end up being fulfilled beyond your wildest imagination.

So open your heart. Love deeply and passionately. It will make this world a better place.

- Evan Sanders

If you haven’t had the chance, read my book!

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  1. July 7, 2013

    Great words. I know exactly how you feel. I, too, have experienced my share of tragedies, but they have shaped who I am. These hardships make us stronger and gives is the ability to empathize and help others. Great work!

  2. June 12, 2013

    […] “Empathy” by Evan Sanders (The Better Man Project) […]

  3. June 12, 2013

    How the heck do you keep going with new content everyday? Keeping track of those thoughts? I envy that!

  4. June 9, 2013

    Loved this post, and definitely like the short burst of video blog wisdom as well. I watched the video early yesterday morning, and when you mentioned the letters I thought to myself, “I need to do that.” However, I wasted the day away today not writing or thinking about those letters (or much of anything else to be honest). Tonight though, I got the 4th rude awakening in a months time of the fragility of these sweet lives we’ve been given, and all I could think was about the people who might not know how great they are and what effect they have had in my life.

    Needless to say, I’m about to start writing those letters, right now…at midnight. A step towards loving passionately with open arms, I guess you could say.

    Keep inspiring people Evan, you are doing a great job spreading your message of growth and love and I know there are many out there who appreciate your willingness to write these words.

    • June 9, 2013

      Love that you like the video blog! I think it is going to do well. Definitely write those letters – it is such a fulfilling thing to do.

      Also, thank you for the great message at the end. Sometimes it can be hard to see what is exactly happening out there, but I think it just need to strengthen my faith. Hope all is well!~

      Rub elbows with me on the FB page

    • June 9, 2013

      You’re welcome. I think the comments section is a good indicator of what is happening “out here”. And I also think you will strengthen your faith as you continue to move forward with your writing, video blogging and other projects you have mentioned along the way. Just keep doing what your doing, and always be willing to adapt when things don’t go as planned or predicted.
      All is well here, or it will be soon…I’m choosing to believe so. Hope all is well with you as well!

  5. June 8, 2013

    Fantastic! And I love the idea of the video blogs :)

    • June 9, 2013

      Yah! I am glad you like the idea I think it is going to be a solid addition :)

  6. June 8, 2013

    this is the best message i’ve seen on wordpress yet! so well said and i couldn’t agree more. i posted one day a song called “more love” by tim o’brien and darrell scott and that’s just it – more love is needed not less. i’ve always talked with folks about the lack of empathy. i get so tired of how people are completely insensitive and are all about “me.” the world would totally be a better place if we’d stop with the “me” and think of others or how our actions impact others. thank you so much for posting this! fabulous! :)

    • June 9, 2013

      Woah! That is an awesome compliment! I will definitely check out the song. I think that we need to start focusing on what we can control and put our message out there without any expectation. As Shakespeare said, “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” I think that is so true. Definitely connect with me!

      Rub elbows with me on the FB page

  7. June 8, 2013

    Reblogged this on AraBelle!.

    • June 9, 2013

      Thank you for the reblog! Appreciate it a ton!

      Rub elbows with me on the FB page

    • June 10, 2013

      My pleasure! Seems like an inspiring project you are heading and always great to share if and when ever we do care

  8. Joy
    June 8, 2013

    Love this. Thank you.

  9. June 8, 2013

    Love your posts Evan, please keep going. You are doing the “best” work that of helping people enrich their own lives and I thank you for it.

    • June 9, 2013

      Thank you, You have no idea how much I appreciate that. It is good to have support from people out there. It definitely fills my bucket every day.

      Rub elbows with me on the FB page

  10. June 8, 2013

    I just discovered this blog. I am looking forward to following it.

  11. June 8, 2013

    Thank you for this beautiful message about love and compassion :-).

  12. June 8, 2013

    Thanks Evan. Looking forward to hearing and reading over the next year. I like the way you relate things in life and in sports to help us be better men. I also played baseball; not at the division I level but at a local community college. I wrote a poem today about baseball at this link:

  13. June 8, 2013

    It is the tough experiences in life that give us the capacity to feel empathy. Its too bad that most people don’t understand this. … Thank you for shedding light on a great truth. … Be well, Dorothy :-)

    • June 9, 2013

      I agree – I think that it truly does give us the ability to feel for other people. I also think that when we are doing just fine, we should show empathy just as much. It makes it a bit harder when we are hurting, but all in all it is so important.

      Rub elbows with me on the FB page

  14. June 8, 2013

    I love your style of writing! Keep crushing it!

    • June 9, 2013

      yah? What do you like about it so much! And I love the crushing it comment.

      Rub elbows with me on the FB page

    • June 9, 2013

      I really like the thought and meaning behind your writing. Unfortunate but true, sometimes when reading material (not yours, but others) you feel the sense of distance or annoyance. Like they are almost writing just to get something out there. With your writing, you can tell that you mean what you say and are genuinely happy to present it to your audience.

  15. June 8, 2013

    So true. I am doing a presentation for my company next month and empathy is one of the topics I am discussing. It’s important everywhere! Great post!

    • June 9, 2013

      0o0o really? I would love to hear what you have to say. I always like hearing what others perspectives are on the topics I write about. Definitely shoot me a message at the link below.

      Rub elbows with me on the FB page

  16. June 7, 2013

    Beautiful. And so very true. Thank you! :-)

  17. June 7, 2013

    Beautifully written and felt. Thank you

  18. June 7, 2013


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