From Somewhere Warm


It’s been a month since this happened, but it has been stuck in my head ever since. I remember it just like yesterday. You were on the phone crying for about 15 minutes, and then the words came out of your mouth – words that I haven’t  forgotten. They have been in my head ever since. You said, “Where are all the men who will make you fall in love with them every single day… Where are they?”

All I wanted to say was…they are, here.

Life is a funny thing sometimes. At least, this is what I have found being the young man at 23 years old that I am. And over the past year, I have experienced a lot of change that I could never have foreseen. In fact, those who counseled me probably didn’t see it coming the way it did either. I have always had the grand fortunate-misfortune of having most everything in my life be attracted to one end of the spectrum or another. Never really do events sit in the middle ground for me. While it does make my world exciting, it also bears the existence of the Black Dog as Churchill would call it – the deep dark lows.

School ended and lots of things changed. No longer are friends conveniently placed in close proximity to you. In fact, as soon as you walk the stage, many disappear into thin air – almost as if they were never there. I used to have a hard time dealing with this thought, but now, through years of growth, I smile at the good times.

But it sure does make you appreciate those who are still here. And that is what I am talking about today.


Genuine, undying, timeless, care and love is a hard thing to come by. Maybe people are more cynical these days – and say that this world we live in now is much harder than the one we used to (I feel like every generation gives themselves that pat on the back regretfully). But I do know one thing – today is the day and age where we can truly be ourselves and have the world react to our expression rather than changing and morphing ourselves into someone who we think others will like. We no longer live in a caveman community of 17 where creating false personas and impressions is necessary. I do believe full-heartedly, and this is coming from someone who has changed and manipulated himself in the past in every single way possible to please the crowd, that you can put your best foot forward and project your message out to the world, and eventually something great will come back to you.

I believe this. And it comes at a price.

Dont expect your message to come bouncing back to you immediately. Life does not exactly work like that perfectly shaped bouncy ball you have in your hand. In fact, it works like one that is covered in nodules – ready to explode off the ground and then the side wall without any notice. The returns on the investments you have made take time. You have to have faith that everything you are doing is for a reason and a purpose. If you can’t find either of those then why are you even doing it?

We have all fallen to the temptation of wanting the end result right now. I mean, if you’ve ever been hungry and you walk past a Cinnabon – you are pretty much screwed. But I think you know what I am getting at. If it is in your mind and in your heart then you must continue pursuing it. When your soul becomes captured by something great things can happen. Becoming a better person captured mine a long time ago, and we are nearing almost a 1,000 days of this project? I think my example sticks.

There’s a deeper reason I am writing this all down today. Besides the conversation I was having above, and the subsequent mulling of the thoughts that were running through my head for a month – I have realized that the only true thing that matters to me is to continue telling people how much I care about them and what they mean to me. It is easy to shut off that valve when you feel like there will be a shortage of water in the well – but if I know anything about myself, it’s that there is no shortage of love in this heart. Continue to give without expectation and eventually…that bouncy ball will come back and knock you in the head.

– Evan Sanders

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  • Nikki
    May 23, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    I love this post and the picture of the ferris wheel is one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen. The colors, the mood, the perpective – everything is just perfect! I guess the same compliment can be paid to your words. You write from the heart and it shows.

  • rachelibers
    May 23, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    Truly inspirational – this is a good approach to life and blogging alike.
    “When your soul becomes captured by something great things can happen.” Let’s hope so.

  • mandylroberson
    May 23, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    beautiful and true to the core as always. thanks for sharing.

  • safi4775
    May 23, 2013 at 3:42 pm

    a beautiful and true way to start my Friday, thank you

  • Carrie Lange
    May 23, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    until people realize that life and love are no more perfect then THEY are, they will never truly be content with the love or life they have… give love and life the same kind of break you want them to give to you. 😉

  • guinifi
    May 23, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    Such wonderful thoughts 🙂

  • wherethedaytakesme
    May 23, 2013 at 4:57 pm

    Such beautiful words. Thank you.

  • sheyvii
    May 23, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    This is amazing. You are a great writer

  • Mark1
    May 23, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    Where are all the WOMEN who make you fall in love every day?

    • thebettermanprojects
      May 23, 2013 at 7:34 pm

      fair question good sir – only speaking to the situation 🙂

  • amylevering
    May 23, 2013 at 7:14 pm

    Love is in us all, around us if we seek it. The purpose of us all is to love and be loved…and then after that we try to find a purpose that fulfills us in the same way. The Greatest of these is truly Love! Thank you for sharing your heart…Beautiful!

  • juk
    May 23, 2013 at 7:36 pm

    Reblogged this on life. unlimited. and commented:

  • christymboyce
    May 23, 2013 at 9:10 pm

    Lovely Evan…thank you.

  • maryelizabethbailey
    May 23, 2013 at 11:04 pm

    Your heart is precious, Evan.
    SO precious.
    You’re going to make one lady the happiest person in the world one day, you know.
    After all, you already capture the hearts of bloggers every day with your love for others. 🙂

  • lunasealife
    May 23, 2013 at 11:39 pm

    Beautiful, Evan! Thank you.

    A better question would be: “Where are the women and men who will CHOOSE to fall in love, to be love, to love, every single day…?” Better in that the question “where are THEY” will never lead to happiness. Where am I, however, is something you can work with.

    “Genuine, undying, timeless, care and love is a hard thing to come by.”
    Because it doesn’t just happen. It is CREATED. It is CHOSEN.

    ‘The Mastery of Love’ by Don Miguel Ruiz is one of the best books I’ve ever read on the topic.

    “Today is the day and age where we can truly be ourselves and have the world react to our expression rather than changing and morphing ourselves into someone who we think others will like.”

    YES. Love that. So true. Again, it’s a creation of ourselves, it’s a choice to be ourselves. And what we are underneath it all, is love.

  • myinspirationalist
    May 24, 2013 at 12:21 am

    Thanks for sharing! Love is the only thing in this world that is real!

  • llpllc
    May 24, 2013 at 5:57 am

    Well put, Evan!

    Love with your whole heart and be richer for the experience, regardless of the outcome.

  • WDW
    May 24, 2013 at 9:06 am

    I LOVE this. : )

  • Kelly
    May 24, 2013 at 10:34 am

    XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX (from your sister who loves you)

  • teasatisa
    May 24, 2013 at 11:35 am

    Reblogged this on Whorled in a whir.

  • Brandi Roberts
    May 24, 2013 at 12:06 pm

    This is fantastic =)

  • emilyfrankenberry
    May 25, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    I love the idea of a captured soul.

  • copenhavering
    May 25, 2013 at 5:22 pm

    Beautiful. I needed to hear all these words in just this order. Thanks so much for your hopeful heart!

  • portraitofanamericanfamily
    May 26, 2013 at 8:00 am

    …thank you for this Evan. It’s refreshing to know there are genuinely good and kind-hearted men out there…it’s hard to believe at times. LIke you, there is no shortage of love in my heart, which has turned out (many times) to be my downfall as others have recognized this and used it against me…but I still continue to love and let those whom are nearest and dearest to me how much they mean to me…even if this is not reciprocated in the way I may have liked. It’s important to keep reminding myself that I’m not always going to get back what I give, but to keep on giving nonetheless. Thank you for these wise words…

  • shoegazesessions
    May 26, 2013 at 10:37 am

    This post came at the right time. I’m glad you’ve found what really matters to you. I can’t say the same for myself yet.
    Btw, I laughed at the bit about Cinnabon.