The Loser Wins

The day you realize that you are really the only one who can determine and create your personal value is a very important day. Too often I have allowed myself to crumble because of the lack of character of others. This is a monumental realization for me for a few reasons. The first is that I have come to realize that “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” William Shakespeare was a pretty smart man I would venture to say. I believe fully that instead of living a life where you have incredibly high expectations for those around you (sometimes unachievable ones) and living a life where you are constantly disappointed – you should go a different route.

What does that route look like? Demand a lot from yourself, and simply ask for honesty and respect from others. I know that even those two expectations for some may be hard to meet, but that is where I draw my personal boundary line. Then, I go on with my days happily surprised by people instead of disappointed.

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The standards you set for yourself as a human being are some of the most important choices out there. I truly believe that whatever you project out into the world will eventually come back to you. Positive karma & the law of attraction. It’s a never-ending journey though…the question of “Can I give more?” And I agree – the answer is almost always yes.

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The choices, words, and beliefs of others are out of your control. All you can ask from yourself is to act with grace and like a lady/gentleman. It is tough sometimes when you don’t get treated well by other people. I can tell you from personal experience that I have often made it about me instead of just letting the seemingly personal attack be about what is going on in their world – not mine. It’s a lesson that I am learning over and over again. And every time I learn it, it brings me back to Don Ruiz and his book The 4 Agreements. Don’t Take Anything Personally.

You deserve the best. But you have to go out and create that. The world as you envision it can be made, but yes – you have to first see it. You have to see how you fit into that world – what you do, say, look like, act like – the works. It is when you create this image in your mind that you can truly take it to the next level. Put it on paper and practice every single day. Be that person. Sooner or later, you will become everything you’ve ever wished for.

– Evan Sanders

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  • @JanTramposch
    May 7, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    It all starts inside me. What I envision myself to be. Promises I have made to myself. Who I choose to be with. Where I choose to be. What I choose to spend my time on or turn away from.

  • joselynlove
    May 7, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    Nice. Thanks for the read and music.

  • midisparks
    May 7, 2013 at 4:00 pm

    thank you for your usual inspirational words. appreciate it.

  • wherethedaytakesme
    May 7, 2013 at 4:24 pm

    Very true. great book the 4 agreement. Everyone should read.

  • guinifi
    May 7, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    True. You are the only one who can make a change in yourself and you can only rely on yourself to make things happen.

  • ramblingsofaphoenix
    May 7, 2013 at 6:39 pm

    That is beautiful, and just what I needed to hear today.
    Thank you!

  • obstructedbynone
    May 7, 2013 at 7:02 pm

    Atmosphere is a totally great group, they got some uplifting tunes! My favorite is “Best Day,” and I wholeheartedly recommend it. Songs like these are great reminders of how we can keep moving forward.

  • 7atbest
    May 7, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    excellent. refuse to let others set the agenda for your life!

  • pulpfictionme
    May 7, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    well said 🙂 Grace is something I am still learning. As of late I have loved writing about other people and have started interviewing others to feature them in my blog. It is such a great feeling to focus on other people. One thing that I read that stuck with me is “be someone’s guardian angel.” Keep writing and looking forward to other posts 🙂 You sound like a great guy to have a beer with and chop it up.

  • Rachna
    May 7, 2013 at 9:55 pm

    Great post!

  • W.H.A.T.!™ Women Helping Affirm Themselves!
    May 8, 2013 at 12:09 am

    You are going through a syndrome which I have coined. It is called “Giving Someone Else More Credit Than You Give Yourself.” As you have profoundly stated, “The day you realize that you are really the only one who can determine and create your personal value is a very important day.” When you get to where you are suppose to be . . . it will be much more appreciated!

  • tshedenk
    May 8, 2013 at 2:12 am

    Coincidentally I just happened to make a similar post about expectations from others and how I have come to understand it (http://flibbertigibbetyblog.wordpress.com/2013/05/08/great-expectations-or-no-expectations/). Using the same Shakespeare quote mind you….and then I go to look at the posts I follow and I see you wrote something very similar. Crazy how coincidence works. But its nice to see I am not the only one who has come to understand the ‘importance of expectations’ the way I have. Great post!

  • countingsheepstudio
    May 8, 2013 at 4:32 am

    Evan, so often your words just make me feel better. Simple as that. Keep on inspiring us. Thanks.

  • lmagliano
    May 8, 2013 at 4:49 am

    …I look forward to your daily inspiration..thank you, Evan

  • lmagliano
    May 8, 2013 at 5:05 am

    Reblogged this on Mz. Mags and commented:
    …to my students…some inspiration for you…

  • murphyslawtranslated
    May 8, 2013 at 6:26 am

    Thanks for reading! I love the concept of your blog!

  • jadabroussard55
    May 8, 2013 at 8:36 am

    Knowing that you are in charge of your own worth is one of the greatest realizations you can make…thank you for your words, they came at such a perfect time.

  • stephaniedubyna
    May 8, 2013 at 3:46 pm

    Your words always make me feel better, even when they are what I don’t want to hear.

  • kayuk
    May 8, 2013 at 7:26 pm

    Great post

  • theruine
    May 8, 2013 at 8:30 pm

    Reblogged this on TheOprimer Magazine.

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    • thebettermanprojects
      May 16, 2013 at 10:03 pm

      Thank you for the reblog I appreciate it a bunch.

      Love for you to connect with me on FB too http://on.fb.me/RC57QW for tons of motivational & inspiring content – Don’t forget to click the LIKE button!

  • richcross13
    May 15, 2013 at 9:55 pm

    WOW! This is a great post my friend!

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