My Act

I know immediately when I am starting to go south. The frustration creeps in and consumes everything in my mind. I start feeling it in my lower back and quickly a sense of agitation reaches the back of my neck, shoulders, and arms. To be honest, I get pretty pissed off and don’t want to be around anybody, be touched by anyone, or say anything. I just want to retreat…to be left alone, and to do it all on my own.

That’s a pretty big “act” as I would call it. The act is what you go to when you are down and unhappy. And for me, a sense of “I can do it by myself what do I need other people for” becomes the negative emotion that crawls into my mind and plants itself. We all have an act…mine just happens to look that way. I’m happy that at least I know.

It’s unhealthy. It’s destructive. It’s counter productive. It’s painful.

But we must call forth our team in these moments. We must ask for help and not stop asking for it until we get it. The mark of strength is knowing when to ask for help. “Not because you are weak, but because you want to remain strong.” – Les Brown.

Life “lifed” me. It got me good. Not in a monumental explosion, but in a very very sneaky way. It slowly but surely planted a small idea in my mind and because I watered that thought a little too much, it took to root. It took me out of my game. It made me bitter. It beat me in one long great battle. And that battle has been going on for some time now. But the war is not lost. It is only when you  lay down to die that the war is lost.

Frustration. Anxiety. Disappointment. Under appreciated. Unnoticed. Sad. Lonely. The list goes on and on and on. They slowly but surely creep in and set up their chairs in your head. The only way you can combat these emotions is not by running from them, but understanding them and what they are. There is no fixing them. Only understanding. Then you can make your move. Then you can do something about your life.

Make your move before you are ready.

– Evan Sanders

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  • emahadeo
    April 13, 2013 at 9:25 am

    I like how you articulated your thoughts and that you are brave enough to express them. I felt a bit sorry for myself this morning so I baked banana bread and took it to the neighbours. Amazing how a small act of generosity can change the course of your day.

  • amaeguerrero
    April 13, 2013 at 9:48 am

    “Make your move before you are ready” is like before you start, you start

  • ourweus
    April 13, 2013 at 10:22 am

    This is something we can all relate to. When I am confronted with these types of negative feelings, I look at things to be thankful for. I have found that it is really tough to feel bad and thankful at the same time. Keep on truckin’ Evan.

  • whereisset
    April 13, 2013 at 10:57 am

    “The only way you can combat these emotions is not by running from them, but understanding them and what they are. There is no fixing them. Only understanding.” is also a saying in Buddhism. Understanding and knowing will give you courage to move on, because you accept yourself as a human-being, with the good and the bad!

  • roxanainflight
    April 13, 2013 at 11:03 am


  • msauthorette
    April 13, 2013 at 11:52 am

    I really like the way this is written, honest, straightforward…good job 🙂

  • Mohamed Ossama
    April 13, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    “But the war is not lost. It is only when you lay down to die that the war is lost.” This phrase got me overwhelmed with hope! Very nice post.

  • robperryhiker2012
    April 14, 2013 at 4:49 am

    Wow… It’s like you are in my mind. This is the same thought process I go through at at times as well.

  • Pink Ninjabi
    April 14, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    Awesome post, especially letting sit what we want and moving chairs if need be. Thank you!

  • alyson
    April 14, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    Amazing post. Everyone goes through hardships and pain and it can be a process learning how to deal with these emotions and feelings. Thank you for speaking out about this. Not everyone has the courage too!

  • The self destructive “act” | Die Reis
    April 15, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    […] read this on The better man project today and it made me think. I don’t know if we all have an act, but I can tell you, I most […]

  • richardarnoldsimbolon
    April 15, 2013 at 10:57 pm

    I love it….
    nice idea