The Better Man Project

Day (383) – Down the Barrel

February 9th…years ago, I woke up. A moment of simple pure clarity. No longer would I meander through life, but instead, I would improve upon something every day and see where I ended up. It is crazy for me to think that only a couple of years have yielded results so drastically different from anything that I ever believed possible. Today, I want to tell you a story…well about that concept exactly…your story.

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About a year and a half ago, I stood up in front of 120 people and I read aloud, no details omitted, the story of my life. I remember walking up to the mic, hand was trembling slightly, took a deep breath and let it all out. Things that had happened to me, things that I was holding onto, stuff from years and years and years ago came out. I stood up there, in front of all those people, eyes that I didn’t know, and spilled my guts. I had this funny sensation, one that I would only figure out till later, that it wasn’t the people I was afraid of…but it was standing up there and telling this story that I thought had so much power. Like it defined me in some way. I thought that because of the past…that makes you who you are today.

Well, I think a lot of people think like this. For multiple reasons really. Everything that I have said and done up until this point has made you into who you are. However…and this is a big however, you can turn it all around in a heartbeat. Yes, the people around you will not be so quick to change, but if you deep inside really want it, it is there for the taking. There are going to be massive speed bumps I promise you. But the world is there for you to make whatever you want out of it. You can change the way you show up for other people, you can change your daily life…I mean, change sounds small in comparison to transformation…yeah, I think it’s more like that.

If you get out of your own way…if you refuse to let your past define you and stop trying to live in tomorrowland…the amount of possibility that surrounds you is incredible. You have the ability to really go after what you want. The problem is, that many of us think that we can time travel. Yep. Time travel. Sounds ridiculous but it is so true. Those who harp on things that happened in the past love to either complain or they wish things were different. Well, hate to say it, but you can’t go back. Why even bother thinking about it if you can’t go back. Learn from it yes, but harp on it…yikes. By the way, I used to love complaining about things. I mean, it could have been one of my favorite things. But it takes a lot more guts to confront your current reality and accept your condition. Then you can go to work on making a happy life. But you have to take out the trash first. Ditch the garbage. Stop letting your past be baggage.

You can’t travel to the future either. Why would you even want to? My friend today told me that there is this statement in Buddhism that if you ever see Buddha, kill him, because he will share with you the secret to enlightenment. Then your whole life is ruined. But we can also get stuck in a constant cycle of putting things off till tomorrow. Horrible idea. Then you never get anything done. When I am feeling my worst, it is because I am delaying what I really want to do in my life. When I am busy and kicking butt, I am at my happiest. That is because I am living my life as if this day was the only one that mattered.

Ditch the past. Pass on the future. Embrace today.

 

 

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Evan Sanders

0 Comments

  1. January 16, 2013

    [...] Day (383) – Down the Barrel. [...]

  2. January 10, 2013

    Reblogged this on hellomeganrose.

  3. January 10, 2013

    All those limitations I was stuck with and mutely accepted as “reality”? Yeah. Turns out I made those up. Keep up the good work!

  4. January 8, 2013

    I had a similar epiphany recently. I’d heard the words often enough…the past no longer exists, and the future doesn’t exist yet, so the only reality we have is this day. What I’ve had to do is really internalize that, particularly with regards to forgiveness. I found out it’s so much more than a word or even an intention. It’s a state of being. I love the strength of your posts. Love and light.

  5. January 8, 2013

    brave, brilliant, inspiring, powerful; thank you!

  6. January 8, 2013

    [...] us from changing today.  Evan Sanders, author of The Better Man Project said this in his blog post Day (383) – Down the Barrel, “If you get out of your own way…if you refuse to let your past define you and stop trying [...]

  7. January 8, 2013

    Great one!

  8. January 8, 2013

    “if you refuse to let your past define you…the amount of possibility that surrounds you is incredible. You have the ability to really go after what you want.”

    If there were just ONE THING that could change everything for most people, understanding that simple fact IS IT. Lets all just keep saying it. Best idea ever.

  9. January 8, 2013

    I really dig this blog, your mission and how helpful you are through your posts. Thanks for your follow and thanks for these great posts! I look forward to reading more.

  10. January 8, 2013

    Loved it!

  11. January 8, 2013

    Awesome post. I always love what you have to say and this one is no different. The points you make are so true, and I have always wanted to make a change in my life but I never could put my finger on what I was doing wrong. Thanks so much. Keep it up !

  12. January 8, 2013

    Yay!!

  13. January 7, 2013

    Oh my, this post is amazingly powerful. Thank youuu!

  14. January 7, 2013

    Wonderful, inspirational, I love your words

  15. January 7, 2013

    well-wrote

  16. January 7, 2013

    This, this post, thank you. I’m printing this out. I’ve been working on sorting many details of my life out. This brought a needed clarity to my day and my outlook of the world. Kudos.

    Best,

    Ryan

  17. January 7, 2013

    Thank you for this. :) It’s amazing how often i forget those concepts and truths. I needed that reminder. You, good sir, just made my day a very good one. :)

  18. January 7, 2013

    Yesterday you said tomorrow.

  19. January 7, 2013

    Right on! As a wise person once said, `Regrets of the past and dreams of the future consume life. The magic words of living are HERE and NOW.`

  20. January 7, 2013

    A good read and I couldn’t agree more. We all have things we could choose to harp on but that only increases our fear and failure to commit to the possiblilities of the present.

  21. January 7, 2013

    Wonderful post. Very moving for me especially. It’s true moving on, taking big steps is the solution. I am happy for your change! Keep moving!

  22. January 7, 2013

    Very inspiring to read your words. Sometimes changing perspective is all it takes. I was already playing with the idea of starting my own little project, as the past year of my life was more about back-peddling and staying afloat in a sea of monotony … and after reading a bit about your project and all your lofty goals, I’m giving it a go with a new blog to track my own progress. (www.52steps2change.wordpress.com)
    Keep at it! The world can only be a better place with people like you striving to be better, kinder, stronger and making themselves available to others on similar journeys.

  23. January 7, 2013

    Yes!!

  24. fransiweinstein
    January 7, 2013

    God you’re inspiring!

  25. January 7, 2013

    Great post, there is a lot to be said for focusing on what you can do to improve your situation vs complaining about it. Love your measage Evan and appreciate every bit of it that you share with the world!

  26. January 7, 2013

    This is a great post. Great job.

  27. January 7, 2013

    You kick butt! Inspiring! Now is all that matters!

  28. January 7, 2013

    Just what I needed to read today… I must get out of my own way… thank you.

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