The Better Man Project

Day (371) – Pieces of You

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Hemingway once said, “All people talk of it (love), but those who have had it are marked by it.”

A long time ago, I wrote the following…

“I have an irreplaceable piece missing, and as much as I want that piece back, that piece is down deep in the sand and I can’t find it anymore. I have to sit on the beach, waiting for that piece to uncover itself again. No digging in the world will find it, and no amount of help from anyone else will help uncover it. In the end, there are no words that will bring it back. That piece might never come back to me again…and that’s the honest truth. It’s a truth that I have to deal with every day. For now, I have to feed my faith, and let my fears starve.”

Someone who is becoming progressively closer and closer to me told me today that once you give your piece of a heart to another…not matter if it has faded away, you continue to feel love for ages to come until it has found a worthy donor. I thought that this was incredibly true and it brought me back to a time a long time ago where I felt this way. Even more, I knew that no matter what, I would be there for the people who I have loved in the past. That is just the type of person I am. Just because I am not in love with you doesn’t mean I don’t love and care about you. So she made me think about this…and here’s what I came up with.

When I go out, I want to have branded my love onto those around me. I want them to deep down remember who I was, what I was to them, and all the amazing things we did together. Things aren’t always going to be perfect between people, but isn’t that the point? Isn’t that the test of time? It either makes you stronger or it tears you apart. Those who really care will always be there for you. It is an undeniable truth of life.

But back to what I wrote above…about irreplaceable pieces. Every single loss, there is a piece of you missing. Maybe just a little sliver, but I think that it is a piece nonetheless. Without giving pieces of your heart to those who you love, you fail to give them yourself at all. Your heart is not meant to be covered by barbed wire and protected. In fact, the way you grow and the way you learn is by being vulnerable. By having those moments in which you sit there feeling apart…like the analogy of me being on the beach and having pieces of me buried in the sand…your heart grows stronger. You look at yourself and realize that you can withstand anything. You can take anything that comes your way. And here’s the kicker…you must keep putting yourself out there…because if you live this live without falling deeply in love, well, you haven’t lived at all. Put your heart on your sleeve. There are too many people out there these days that are playing it safe. Everyone around you deserves to see the real you.

%inspirational quotes

“Stay open, who knows, lightning could strike.” – Meet Joe Black

I always keep it in the back of my head. When you least expect it, people will show you amazing things. I would rather live my live knowing that I will have my socks knocked off rather than thinking people are inherently bad. I think we all sin differently, but the problem is, people judge others because they sin differently. I am discounting the people who do terrible terrible things btw….but in the day to day sense, the area in which we all play, people just make big mistakes. This doesn’t mean that they should be punished forever because of their transgressions. I have been lucky enough to have some friends around me who went through some hard times with me, and supported me despite all the mistakes I made.

It comes down to accepting people for their failures and for their successes. And even more, for all of their characteristics. I don’t try to change people. In fact, I love them for their major major faults. They are beautiful to me. Because if you look at it this way….the way that how could it be that such a fault could exist in such a great person…you realize that there is something else at play here. Some sort of resilience inside of them that lets a major imperfection exist alongside the rest of their great qualities. You know what it is?

Balance.

Balance allows you to be exactly who you are without reacting to the rest of the world and doing what you think it wants. Balance allows your imperfections to coexist within you without tearing you apart at the seams. What happens though…is that when we magnify our imperfections more than we magnify our great qualities…we start to split. Like cutting the seams on a baseball…it all begins to unravel.

Only you can stop the the running string. In no way am I saying that you  can’t work on yourself each and every day, in fact, that is what this whole project is about. But do not expect not to have major flaws. I have my own…in fact, I have admitted many of my own here. I have had many flaws in which a while ago I thought would rip me to pieces. They in fact did…but there will come a time for each of us where we have to decide to start sewing those pieces back together. Where we must rise up from the ashes. Everyones path is different…my path, one where I am still not sure how I even ended up here, is the same as many. Conquering fear, pain, agony, anxiety, depression, personal doubt, external doubt…the works. We are all in the same boat. Maybe there aren’t times in which we experience “droughts” so to speak, but everyone cycles through emotions. Everyone can relate to each other on an emotion basis.

Love your heart out. I don’t care how hurt you have been in the past, someone will come along and absolutely sweep you off your feet. Have faith. It will come %inspirational quotes

Evan Sanders

Please Join My Dream https://www.facebook.com/BetterManProject

0 Comments

  1. mkesling63
    April 28, 2013

    Good post. Who knows maybe one day you will rememeber where you placed that missing piece instead of counting on it finding you. Hopefully you will not deny it when the memory does return. Truma does result in memory loss and you may not even relaize you suffered that truma.

  2. April 28, 2013

    Reblogged this on Soul Love.

  3. January 8, 2013

    Interesting… In fact, a straight shot at the reality. I personally liked this post. I’m Reblogging this article to my blog http://peopleandhearts.wordpress.com/

    This post took me in an instant. I felt those words. People playing safe with their hearts.

    Well written…

  4. January 8, 2013

    Reblogged this on People and Hearts.

  5. December 29, 2012

    Your words jumped off the page at me. Rising from the ashes, yes, very familiar with the darkness. I menioned to someone the other day “I don’t know where I a going, but i am sure to figure it out when i get there”

  6. December 29, 2012

    I love this, Stephen. I hope that last bit was for me. I need to hear and believe that.

  7. December 29, 2012

    Reblogged this on LifeRevelation.

    • December 29, 2012

      I always do that! Sorry! But you may as well have written it, right?

    • December 29, 2012

      Just keep remembering you are the best…Susie and I (and the Gang of 5) hope you all the best this coming year…let it be a great one in every way…you are in our hearts and prayers daily…much love and blessings to you…be encouraged!

  8. December 28, 2012

    A friend once told me “only invest what you’re willing to lose.” When it comes to investing our heart we chose the path of ultimate vulnerability.

  9. December 25, 2012

    Thank you for following my blog! Thank you for wanting to become a better man. I think we want the perfect man or woman… which does not exist. Yet, how dare we expect it without seeking to become that other person we seek. I am in awe of anyone recognizing the growth that is neede dto become a more enlightened being!

    May the new year herald everything you beckon and may it shine throughout!

  10. December 24, 2012

    This was refreshing to read. I think I’ve become jaded over lost loves and it helps to have a reminder that to truly live, a person needs to love. And if you’re ever going to love, it takes a leap of faith. Great post!

  11. December 23, 2012

    I am so moved by this! It definitely resonates with me. I am also someone who will always be there for those I have loved, and I believe there is good in everyone :) I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one!

  12. cydmadsen
    December 23, 2012

    This sure stopped me in my tracks. Re-posted to my blog because it beats everything I had planned. Gorgeous and devastating writing.

  13. December 23, 2012

    [...] Day (371) – Pieces of You. [...]

  14. December 23, 2012

    Beautiful writing and introspection, as always!!

  15. December 23, 2012

    Great words.

  16. December 23, 2012

    Well said.

  17. Joy
    December 23, 2012

    Loved this post. And it is so true that most people these days choose to play it safe…little do they know in doing that they are completely missing out on things that could be wonderful.

  18. December 23, 2012

    Once in a while there will be articles that absolutely blow my mind away and completely describe the essential feelings I have been wanting to express to all those I have loved before and those who refuse to stop caring about me. Your piece has brought to light these feelings I have lay hidden for years, didn’t know how to explain, in speaking to my exes recently, this care they have for me, is suddenly demystified, thanks to your article above. Thank you so very much, you have truly allowed me relief and release in my grief.

  19. December 23, 2012

    this was beautiful! thank you for sharing with us

  20. December 23, 2012

    Reblogged this on Pink Ninjabi and commented:
    A Dedication To All Those Who I Loved and To Those Who Refuse to Stop Caring About Me (despite my best attempts).

  21. December 23, 2012

    All I can say is I love this post and I totally GET IT! The part about how we are all acting on emotion, but I wish some people would be honest about that part of themselves, because those like us wouldn’t feel so bad, lonely, when dealing with all the agony, anxiety etc. Maybe if we all shared those droughts with one another we would all survive a little better…Great, well-written post, very sweet and kind. Thank you

  22. December 23, 2012

    Beautifully said. Lots of meaning in this post.

  23. December 23, 2012

    Beautiful words.

  24. December 23, 2012

    Damn right! I have been swept..and it is a wonder!!!

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