The Better Man Project

Day (338) – Tell Them

I can’t tell you how many times I have told someone that I cared about them, whether in a relationship sense or just as friends, and received…worse that disastrous results. In fact, there have been times actually where the other person simply just doesn’t respond. Yikes.

You know, there’s this old saying that you find out about someones true character when they are in hard times and pressure situations. I do think that this is true, in fact I have seen in myself. If you aren’t solid, the compartments of your life will spring leaks and eventually you will get crushed by the weight. But for the best built submarines, 300 meters is still the same as launching point. However, I also think that people’s true colors are shown when you tell them what is in your heart. Some run, some go to silence, some fly away forever…it’s really a complete crapshoot. I wonder if it has always been this way? Or is this is the result of a couple of generations of people not being able to deal with their feelings? But I feel like telling people how you feel now is like an emotional game of roulette….with 4 bullets in the chamber.

%inspirational quotes

I have lost some significant people in my life to this. Some I didn’t think would ever go, so I am really not surprised at all when I think about it now. But, and here’s the huge but, you have to tell them. Sounds insane…and it probably is a little bit crazy…if you’re trying to play a safe life. Put it this way, if you don’t tell them, you are going to be playing the what if game for the rest of your time here. Playing that game is like playing darts blindfolded…hoping to the heavens that you hit something worth some points. As scary as it is, and it is scary, I would rather look someone in the eye and tell them exactly what they mean to me and lose them, than wondering. Life is about failing going 100%. That is my 100%

Some come back, some never do, but you have to thank the Big Guy upstairs for letting you know who is worth your love and compassion. Because anything that is incredibly important in your life is often surrounded by a bit of hardship. You have to battle for it, and like any battle there are some wins and losses. There are those who believe in you and your soul, those who believe in what your fighting for, and those who believe in what your fighting against. The last two tiers are there as scaffolding for your life, and will teach you great lessons, but they always leave. That is okay. It is meant to happen like that.

If you keep looking back, you will miss what is right in front of you. If you have two seconds to take time to listen to the lyrics of this song, I suggest you do it.

Put your heart out there. Despite its seemingly fragile nature, the more you keep doing it, the stronger it gets. Keep telling people you love them, care about them, and why they are special. If they don’t respond well, that’s on them…not you. And it will happen. Some fires will be put out…but wait for the ones that are lit…those will ignite and you will have something incredibly special and deep.

Evan Sanders

Please Join My Dream


  1. December 29, 2012

    It’s always better to speak up. Be honest. Sometimes it hurts,sometimes it heals.

  2. November 19, 2012

    Thank you so much for this post. It could not have showed up at a better time in my life! There is freedom in knowing where others stand in friendships/relationships and too much often goes unsaid. By the way, I bared my heart for once and though it didn’t turn out ideal, the air is cleared and I gained a great friend! Keep it up buddy! You are changing lives by your words. Looking forward to reading more! ;)

  3. November 19, 2012

    Hi Evan, Thanks for the follow. Your Blog is really inspiring absorbing! Great idea….Love and Light :-)

  4. November 19, 2012

    Love this!

  5. Rae
    November 19, 2012

    I wish I could just hug you. I adore your heart and faith, thank you so much for sharing yourself like this. :) *hugs* rae

  6. ly
    November 19, 2012

    …that’s on them…has become my mantra lately. Very freeing!

  7. November 18, 2012

    I believe only people hear the truth when they realize they are lying to themselves. Thank you for this blog it made my night.

  8. November 18, 2012

    I’m in this place RIGHT now. I told someone who I thought would never leave, and got radio silence. It’s a shock to the system for sure, but a heck of a lot better than if I had never said anything. You’re right, you just have to appreciate the person for helping make you who you are. Awesome post as usual :)

  9. November 18, 2012

    Keep on loving and keep on saying I love you. You don’t have a problem. That’s what we are suppose to do. Some people just don’t accept love.

  10. November 18, 2012

    Wow, I thought it was just me who made people run screaming into the night just by saying “I like you” or “I care about you” or (horrors) “I love you.” There is a real risk that they will bolt away on the spot, smashing my heart on their way out the door. Been there, done that, still paying the price. But I just can’t help myself from speaking the truth. I never want to preserve any relationship by lying (by omission) to myself or to the other person. In matters of the heart, the only way back to true safety is to run full-speed toward the farthest edges of risk. No limits, no regrets.

  11. November 18, 2012

    You regret the things you don’t do in life rather than the things you do, and that goes especially for telling people your feelings. If those feelings are true and heartfelt there is nothing to fear

  12. November 18, 2012

    I have always worn my heart on my sleeve and hated myself for not being able to hold back. But I have come to appreciate myself for the person that I am. I know I am making myself really vulnerable by saying how I feel to the other person without knowing they will respond. But at least I walk away with no regrets. I gave it my all and if they were not for me, then so be it.

  13. November 18, 2012

    Reblogged this on Massafrass and commented:
    So true. I am still battling the “what ifs” 6 years after my best friend passed. And counting.
    Don’t regret not following your heart!

  14. November 18, 2012

    I don’t have the courage nor the heart to do that anymore. However perhaps time heals or dull the pain. Your post is very stirring though. I cannot imagine myself writing down my inner thoughts and feelings like you. Whats more, putting out my heart like that to others. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  15. November 18, 2012

    I like this alot sir.
    Did give me alot to think about, a similar thing i have been facing.
    Thank You so much! :)
    Keep publishing such amazing things! :D

  16. November 18, 2012

    Reblogged this on I Just Broke My Watch. and commented:
    Amazing post!
    Made me tun out of words.

  17. November 17, 2012

    Wow…this post really gave me something to think about. I’ve always been the one to wait until the other person expressed their feelings for me, then I would share my feelings. I realize now that was just my insecurities keeping me from possible let downs and broken hearts. I know now, that if it’s meant to be, it’ll be. So why not express your feelings? What is meant to happen, will happen. Thank you!

  18. J.F
    November 17, 2012

    That is very heartfelt, respectable and easily for me to relate too!
    I’ve been burned in more ways then one and have been pushed into a shell but I am slowly coming out. I realize now that holding in my feelings is not healthy! When you tell a person you care it makes a difference for both people! It’s very healthy to share you feelings and wear your heart on your sleeve despite the outcome! A very good read!!!

  19. November 17, 2012

    I have been guilty of this in the past, but I like to think that little voice in my head was telling me to run because I wasn’t with the right person. I will be grateful and loyal when I do find the right person after all I’ve been through, because you’re right-you have to say how you feel and not be afraid. I have ran without explaining in the past, and I know I left someone waiting and wondering. Even if what you feel is that you don’t share their feelings, you should tell them.

  20. November 17, 2012

    This was a very thoughtful and well written article. I couldn’t agree with you more about telling people how you feel. I have always been very “shy” and somewhat reclusive. However, as I’ve grown older and gone through two divorces and several medical crises, I have learned that most people really do appreciate kind words – especially when those words are spoken in earnest and from the heart.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. ~Debi

  21. November 17, 2012

    I don’t understand why people would want to get away from being cared about!

    • November 18, 2012

      Me either. It’s never made sense to me! How sad that they are so afraid/shut down!

  22. November 17, 2012

    Thanks for inspiring those people to say what they feel for others! I have always done so and have been surprised by some of the reactions. I believe love is the most precious gift of yourself you can give! Thanks for being you.

  23. yashichan
    November 17, 2012

    Can definitely relate to this! Thank you for writing this, it helps so much reading it rather than just thinking about it! I really needed this reminder ^_^ And love the song! >.<

  24. November 17, 2012

    Reblogged this on Shadow in the Mirror and commented:
    This post describes what I had assumed to be a common problem of mine. I often felt my honesty scared people away. That’s true but not in the way I thought it was. I feel much better about telling people how I feel and I will never stop. The world needs more love and I can help by letting others know what they mean to me.

  25. November 17, 2012

    p.s. LOVE Imagine Dragons!! :) :)

  26. November 17, 2012

    I am very much like that..maybe to a fault..but life is short and I don’t want regrets. I, too, have lost friends I never thought I would lose, simply because of sharing how I feel in what I thought were honest open ways. Such is life and all things happen for a reason. I truly believe that. Your blog reflects so much of my own thoughts. thanks :)

  27. November 17, 2012

    Reblogged this on SecretlyDivine.

  28. November 17, 2012

    Beautiful….you had my <3 at 100%

  29. November 17, 2012

    Awesome post, definitely can relate

  30. November 17, 2012

    Truth, my friend… :-)

  31. November 17, 2012

    It is a true fact to know that with the greatest risk there comes the potential for the greatest reward. At some point you have to decide if it is worth it.

  32. November 17, 2012

    Reblogged this on This is your real mother speaking… and commented:
    Add your thoughts here… (optional)

  33. November 17, 2012

    It is such a difficult task. I think actions matter more than words. Sometimes you end up either speaking less or more than what you actually can.

  34. November 17, 2012

    I really, really love this post. I have gone through some kind of farewell recently, but I have been managed to tell him how I felt. There are times when I thought to myself how foolish I am to tell him about how I felt and get nothing in return (he didn’t answer); yet I came across you post and there you go:

    “Keep telling people you love them, care about them, and why they are special. If they don’t respond well, that’s on them…not you. And it will happen. Some fires will be put out…but wait for the ones that are lit…those will ignite and you will have something incredibly special and deep.”

    I am truly blessed with your post. Thank you for posting =)

  35. November 17, 2012

    Great song !!

  36. November 17, 2012

    LOVE THAT SONG!!!!! I listen to it often. Great pick me up, great running song, and even better when shared:)

  37. Annalise
    November 17, 2012

    Digging it Evan…

  38. November 17, 2012

    Reblogged this on Thoughtfully Written and commented:
    I’ve always been the girl to tell my feelings to someone. I’ve never been afraid. However, in my recent situations, it hasn’t gone well and its made me scared to further continue telling people the truth. This made me realize that everything happens how its supposed to. And that I should tell them.

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