There have been a few times that I can remember where I have been moved…in extraordinary ways…and have felt something deep within me light like a match. The event specifically is not as important here as the feeling, and I am going to do my best to describe it. We all answer to something greater than ourselves. Some call it God, others call it a spirit, many call it humanity in itself. It is hard to ignore the complex nature of what our world is today. And as I talk about often with our own lives, yes, indeed there are extreme extreme opposites that occur around us each and every day. We cannot ignore the things that are going on in places like Africa and all around the world. Modern communication has made it easier to reach out to thousands of people…sometimes millions…and that only magnifies the message that I have coming next.
We must, because we can. I, a great amount of times, have fallen victim to selling out, playing it safe, giving up, postponing…the list goes on. But it occurred deep down within today, after the event I described in short, that this isn’t what truly is in store for me. I believe that we must all learn what that feeling is like, the one of giving up so we can honestly and sincerely answer our calling. I have been called to do something over the past couple of years…and have answered this call in many ways. I was made to write, and to spread a message that may not necessarily be connected to religion, but instead to each of us, the light within us. I believe in humanity, and the goodness of people. If we let hate grow within ourselves, it takes our heart. We can all hate for different reasons. Hate the situation were in, the type of health, the people who are treating us badly…and when we do, it grows and takes over our lives. More importantly, it eats away at the calling each of us have.
It has been fear that has consumed part of the calling that I know I must answer to. These realizations are made only when spending a great deal of time alone, thinking. If you have ever spent some time of the night in your bed looking up at the ceiling thinking, you will understand exactly what I am talking about. I have always believed that true authenticity lies within our ability to not only answer to ourselves, but to answer to those around us. To be able to look everyone in the eye and say that you were wrong. That there has been something left in the tank that hasn’t been shared yet. That you have been holding out.
I do not fear this…in fact, any problem that we identify is not longer a problem…it is something that can be fixed. It hits you pretty hard when you realize it…even harder when you admit it.
So you have my vow. Every day, you will get everything from me. There will be nothing left in the tank. I will write, I will live, and I will act as if this is it. Because in all honesty, it really is. There is no guarantee of tomorrow…so if I am going to do this thing…it needs to be done in a way that if I didn’t have a tomorrow…I would be proud of everything I gave today.
This is not an empty promise
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