Forgive me for spelling errors today, I am on the train to San Francisco and the combination of rocking and typing on an iPhone requires skills I do not possess.
Today is titled Revelations for a very important reason. Yesterday I was laying on the couch dosing off, and I suddenly woke up as if a sack of wrenches fell on me from above. Put it this way, it hit me incredibly hard. What came to me is not for here, but I would really like to explain how it came to me. Maybe today’s post should be called internal cliff diving?
We are all made of Swiss cheese. Sounds weird right? But seriously for a second…throughout our lives we go through incredible trials, events, and have to overcome significant obstacles. We also experience the love and compassion that other people show us and that makes us concrete. But we all have holes inside. For whatever reason. These holes often get filled by a wide assortment of things, for some drugs, for others a significant other, or a variety of other things that bring us comfort.
What we fail to realize is that filling a gap with someone or something is a dangerous proposition. Because people come and go in life, if you try to bridge that gap with people you will be incredibly disappointed in the long run. Others decide to depend on substances to fill that gap. This is dangerous in another way. What we all must realize is that everything you need to essentially turn a Swiss cheese soul into a block of Provolone is inside of you. But it takes a deep dive. The problem is that taking that dive into the dark is incredibly scary. Imagine cliff diving off a waterfall inside a dark cave. That takes guts.
But this is what I decided to do. I wanted to see how deep that cave was. Because without taking that dive, how was I ever going to know what was deep inside of me. Of course there are moments of glory, but if you don’t know where the true courage lies within you, how will you know to call on it when you need it.
I love talking to people. I love learning from other people and what they have found true throughout their lifetime. I think it’s really dumb not to listen to others and the lessons they have learned. Doesn’t mean you have to take it, but most of the time their advice is learned from something that was incredibly dirty at one time, but they took a great deal of time cleaning it up and restoring it. I asked all my teachers this year for one thing they could tell me to succeed in life. I received some pretty incredibly answers.
I have been creating a new goals list over the past few days and can’t tell you how excited I am. In combination with a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders and a newfound inspiration, I’ll start crossing off these in no time. I’ve also started running seriously for the first real time after my knee surgery. The last 3 days I have chalked up 24 miles. I’m planning on running about 5 miles a day.
The revelations will come if you search for them. If you don’t try to look, then you’ll never find them. That’s what bugged me about “floating.” When I am floating or drifting about life, it makes me feel useless. Call it lack of purpose. I am no lebowski. This dude does not abide. I have a goal, a huge purpose that I want to get fulfilled. It will be.
Write it down. What you want to do in life. What you will accomplish…and then write how your going to get there. If you don’t know where you are going, then any path will take you there.